Marcia K. Rydin

A Successful Woman

Marcia K. Rydin was an accomplished woman.  A Very independent woman whom achieved wherever she wanted to achieve.

First, let me inform the reader, I am not an authority on Marcia K. Rydin.  Only knowing Marcia about 16 years, knowing someone when they are 85 and older is not knowing them in their prime.  I can only relay a few things and only want to talk about what I know.  Please forgive me if anything is inaccurate.

Marcia was born in July of 1917.  And had she lived a few more months would have been 102 years old.  I miss Marcia and think about her so much.  I want to write about her yet, not any form of biography etc.  just a note about what she mentioned to me.

Her parents immigrated here from Europe.  Marcia’s father was good at a variety of things.  Marcia’s mother was very artistic. She was a hat Milner and a seamstress, she could do anything.  Franciska raised her two daughters to do anything that came to their mind.

They resided in Chicago, imagine the depression, food rationing, the prohibition, and the wars.  Hard times they knew well and took in stride like everyone else had to do at the time.  They were innovative in the variety of things they would and could do just to care for their family responsibilities.  Franciska even had borders, rooms she rented out.  Marcia said one of the borders behaved indecently towards her and her mother immediately kicked him out.  Good mother!

Everyone dressed with esteem and always seemed to wear a hat.  Habits domestically and  thriftyness seemed second nature

Marcia grew up in a time where manners were still a part of you.  A strict disapline, how you stood, sat, walked, talked, dressed, table manners, and learning an art( singing, dancing, riding, sewing, needlework, playing the piano etc.).  I believe such disciplines were a gift of esteem.  What is wrong with the world we live in?  Would we all get kicked out of the dining room for not minding our manners?!  What dining room! What manners!  It is nice, many try to inculcate these into their children, yet, most do not which makes it hard for those that do.  Yet, it is an investment in our children to have an exercise in those disciplines so they can become healthy responsible adults.  A rare breed indeed!  As Marcia was a real go getter she created a host of memories and accomplishments to consider when she felt the effects of age set in.

When Marcia was a little child pitching a fit her mother said, “there goes Marcia”!, and there she went the rest of her life.

It still is not easy to write this and there is a certain stress I feel regarding accuracy.  So, I cannot write about her life.  She talked with me about these things and they were quite enjoyable to learn about.  This article is not a family history etc.  This is just a small tribute regarding Marcia and the life she lived.  This is not an biography of any sort.

Marcia loved to shop the fine department stores in Chicago.  She loved to dress nice and she even sewed herself many things over the years.  Somehow she would get tags from some of these department stores and she would sew up things an attach these tags.  I was really amazed by this.  One of these department stores had a floor they sold fabric and tags as well.  Her sewing was perfectly executed.

The theatre, museums, and music Marcia really enjoyed.  A walk down lakeshore drive was an experience she treasured.

Marcia was married to Carl Rydin and they had three sons together.  Marcia’s mother Franciska lived with them and helped raise the boys.  When Marcia had her first son John, she would take him in his buggy an walk down Lakeshore drive daily.  Another thing she mentioned was that she gave John head to toe massages everyday.  Marcia’s attitude was when he cried, let him cry it out.  The neighbors would complain so much because John could holler and it was a war of wills.  She loved her three sons, John, Jimmie, and Richard.  She generously tried to equip them to be self reliant.

When the boys were grown, Marcia decided to relocate to Alabama to be near her sister. In time Marcia bought a little house on some acreage and fixed it up.  She had a horse and rode her horse everyday before work.  She did additions to her home and loved to plant a variety of plants, shrubs and trees.  We loved to go to plant shows together.

Marcia enjoyed her work in the secretarial field. She had an air of authority.  Even at the end of her life she wanted things written, she wanted things done, she loved trying to get things going with the lawyers, can’t we go here, can’t we do this and she felt we could just do these things ourself.

When she lived in Illinois, as a young woman looking for work in the war years it was difficult.  There was a long line you stood in and everyday you went back an stood in the line hoping to be picked.  When she was picked she would say she could do this or that, even if she couldn’t.  Once she was found out, she said that she would be threatened with dismissal.  She was a fast learner and aggressively pursued through education and opportunity whatever she needed to know to get ahead and stand on her own.

Throughout her life, this strength was one of her greatest and worst qualities.  I believe she lived as long as she did due to this inner strength and determination.  Marcia was disciplined with her routines and was a real timekeeper.  She checked her watch all her life.  Always knowing where she should be an what she should be doing.  Being oblivious to time, I was a real study for her.  I learned a lot from her.  There are many things I miss about her.   It was not a perfect situation nor do I want to present it that way.  Yet, we had so many good times together that I value.

Marcia loved my cooking, when here for visits she would say, “where are my scones?!”  Off to the kitchen we would go so I could make a batch of scones.

She loved cooking with me. We had such fun in the kitchen.

Marcia knit this in the 1970’s An it was a mohair blanket kit. I attached a soft piece of fleece to the back for this to be a lap throw for her. She loved seeing her work turned into something useful.

I miss our cooking together.

She lived with John an I approximately the last seven months of her life.  We put her in the middle of the house.  She was near our room so we could hear her at night and we wanted her to be near the bathroom.  We also did not want her stuffed in a room isolated and lonely.  She had confided that she suffered loneliness most her life.  And the last decade was the most painful for her.  This saddened us because we felt prohibited from visiting her as much as we would have liked when she lived in her home.  Other parties did not make visiting comfortable.  Therefore, we just did not want her to feel alone at any point.  We never left her alone.  Either we took her everywhere, or one of us stayed here with her or we would get someone she and we knew to come visit with her so we could go.  We have company often and she really enjoyed the interaction.  While she was here our friend from China came for two weeks.  Then our friends from Maine came for a visit.  Then our friends from Florida came An we had a big cookout.  She just loved all the interaction.    She had friends whom she knew a long time that stopped in an visited.  Her priest came by and he was kind and considerate.  The hospice staff helped me keep it together as I was not experienced and lacked confidence.  Her son Richard came by and spent time with her.

It was not a perfect situation because being dependent was not anything she cared for.  We have not been caregivers before so we all had to learn together.  My husband had already been ill before she died and he continued having strokes so he was in a hospital rehab facility the last couple weeks before she died.  Being here and being there for my husband was a real stretch as I did not feel well.  Our friends were here everyday for us.  And our sons helped out any way they could.  The youngest, Brent with his wife Brittteny came to stay a few weeks to help as well.  What a comfort and support that was!  At some point I felt I lost my marbles and cried inappropriately and laughed inappropriately.  During her short stay with us, always eventful.  I fall often due to low blood pressure.  Surgery to repair tendon and screw my big toe back together was painful and hard to go thru.  One of the times I stubbed my toe an fell I cried like a baby even hyperventilating.  She petted my hair and comforted me w a tenderness I had not seen in her before.  One time I was overwhelmed and distressed she chastised me “talk to Jehovah and place your faith in him”.  She cheered me up.  My God Jehovah helped me persevere and provided our friends day an night to get thru these times.  John did come home a couple weeks later after she went to sleep in death.  As his needs have changed we are changing too.  Our life is busy and complicated, yet we have many blessings.

We loved to do projects together over the years.  Marcia loved the sewing projects.  We would get a t shirt and use it against a piece of knit fabric and make a pattern the way we liked.  I would cut an sew as we would sit in my messy sewing room.  Marcia wore the garments with pride because we made them together.  She loved to give direction, and I although an experienced sewer too, loved the opportunity to consider something new.  We learned from each other.

Marcia had grandchildren she enjoyed when they were young.  It grieved her none were around in The last few decades of her life.  She felt forgotten and the emotional pain of being alone really got to her at times.

Marcia was a woman of faith.  She loved the creator Jehovah and his son Jesus.  About two weeks before she died she started crying, something rare for her.  She said “Jehovah proved the priests wrong.”   I was amazed.  She loved those she interacted with but her faith had changed.  She said if she was young again her choices would be different.  I thought that was humble and sweet of her.

Ahead of her times, fiercely independent, Marcia was a real survivor.  Marcia whom is sleeping now in God’s memory, she will be awakened from death and enjoy perfect health an youthfulness as she is reunited with all those she knew and loved.  Mathew 6:10, Revelation 21:4,5.  Psalm 37:9-11,29.  At the end she was happy to know this hope an understand it.  It gave her comfort in her last months.  I believed that was really why she came to us.  She died this year, 2019.  And I felt she was content and ready.  I wish I had known her decades ago when I needed a worthy woman to look up to an learn from.

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Perplexing Times

Uncertainty arises in all aspects of life.  It is hard to make decisions.  While hard pressed in so many ways it can be easy to jump to the wrong conclusion.  Consequences come so better decisions can bring better consequences. Many experience this, and can deal with a form of chronic anxiety.  What can help us be more decisive?

Sometimes we want to make the right decision, but the right decision is not always so apparent.

Remember, we do not have control of all things, nor of people, and sometimes we can be a victim.  Ecclesiastes 9:11 says “…time an unforeseen occurrence befalls all.”  Anything can happen to anyone.

In other ways we have much more control than we realize.  We can choose to eat in moderation, spend in moderation, clean in moderation, exercise more, be more attentive to our loved ones, watch less television, enjoy being out in creation more, eat out less, go to bed earlier.  Practicing good daily habits can increase our peace and joy.

I have a friend whom is suffering great abuse in many ways from her mate.  She believes in forgiveness yet the abuse has only escalated over the last couple years.  He manipulates her into allowing the abuse.  Her affections are then misconstrued into something unhealthy because she is subjecting herself to stress and sadness.  She has many children whom have to witness this which is a form of abuse too.  This leaves them with unwarranted stress and guilt.  When you have children you cannot protect them and expose them to badness at the same time.  We are responsible to our children, the governmental authorities, Jehovah and his son, and even to ourselves.  Children grow and go.  We must have a safe secure environment for them.

In a situation of abuse, the other party, the one whom does the gross wrongdoing is responsible for their actions.  Blaming ourselves and others only supports their bad ways.  The one in a bad way never sees their own responsibility.  Thus, they continue in their bad way, nursing themself along and others nursing them too.  Freedom and peace comes with decisive action when motivated by Godly principles.

In our situation we just do not know, what appears to be the right way may not be.  When we think we are simplifying we could unwittingly be complicating.  When others are well meaning and tell us, “you need to simplify!” they do not always know what they are talking about.  The reasons a life is complicated must be considered.  After my mother in law died, she had been living with us and was 101.  My husband had a stroke before she died and he had been in a care facility for a while.  I was in distress and could not seem to get it together.  My two friends Olivia and Courtney came over and kindly helped me neaten and clean the kitchen an living room.  That was such a healing.  They did not criticize or counsel, they just helped.  I felt they really understood with love.  Because I have been practicing good habits, I have been able to keep it all up since.  It just is difficult to gain the extra ground.  Last week on a day I was tired and felt a little useless I decided to just pull one of my kitchen drawers open and take a few things out that I just do not care to use.  Then I went to the next drawer and quickly did that one.  In less than ten minutes I did all of them.  Then the next day I asked someone if they could use these things and they were happy to get them.  When I do laundry, I look for things I do not care about and toss.  It feels good.  I am not being pushed or rushed, and I can do it.  Slowly acquiring a healthy esteem.

We are not well and we are trying to simplify.  While we have reduced some monthly expenses others seem to have simultaneously gone up.  We went an changed up our car insurance to bring expenses down, two weeks later it went right back up and yet one less car to cover.  Other things are less and this makes us very happy.  We are still trying to work on this because it is always beneficial to reassess our budget.

My husband has a complicated medical situation that has him down.  Today he was having a neurological attack and fell over into a rose bush   When I tried to pull him out he was leaning just as hard into the rose bush.  I had already sprained my right shoulder an arm and as I was trying to pull him out of the bush it was very difficult.  He fell back into the rose bush. He does not want to admit it hurt yet I am sure it did.  Feeling sad for him and I love him very much.  Just want to help him to feel good about things.

We have cucumbers growing up the lattice and we look forward to picking the first one.  Looking for the sunny side helps a lot.

Good friends are the greatest blessing.  A good friend is not judgmental, instead aids you when you express a desire to improve.  Tonight a couple friends said they noticed I have been losing weight.  I feel encouraged.  I still have a lot of weight to lose but they did not mention that, so I need not focus on that, just keep going in the right direction.

Naturally, genetically haphazard and unorganized it is very difficult to be organized.  All the criticism meant with love only causes me to feel incapable.

The conclusion I have come to is that if my calf muscles are small naturally, I may not be able to change that.  Yet, with regular exercise I can develop them.  They may always be small but they can become stronger and appear nicer.  Yet, unrealistic expectations of them being rounder and fuller, would be disappointing.

By acknowledging that I have many interests and that I tend to be a homebody means I tend to have many things around me.  I like being able to putter with this and that.

There are some truths I have identified about myself, such as: excessive clutter makes me feel uncomfortable.  I do like seeing all surfaces wiped down and clean.  The mother whom raised me took great pride in keeping her windows, cabinets, appliances and floors clean.  In fact she had a system for being clean everyday.  I really liked that, yet I was unsuccessful at implementing any system myself.  Knowing I like cleanliness and that our creator requires it, is the best motivation.  I have a long way to go to be like I want to be.  Improvement is slow in coming yet, I have been working on it a long time while dealing with one unusual situation after another.  A friend of mine whom was visiting last week said she has seen our home get nicer and more organized.  She did not criticize me for still having a lot of clutter and disorganization.  She commended me for the progress and left it at that.  That made me feel so good, because like weight loss, change and results can take a lot longer than we like.  It does not happen overnight.   I cannot be thin just because I want to be, I cannot be organized just because I want to be.  Yet, I can practice thin habits and I can practice organized habits.  In time, the results will be evident and I can feel I reflect well on my creator in all things.  This keeps me motivated and it is its own reward.

Decisions are numerous, thousand a day.  In many areas like personal, medical, relationships, financial, moral, where we live and what we do.

Knowing we want to please our creator in all we do helps us to make better decisions.  Praying for guidance then following thru makes a difference too.  Considering long term outcomes helps us narrow down our options.  This can curtail spontaneous behaviors when we contemplate the results and costs.

By knowing a few things about ourselves, honestly assessing the good and not so good helps us not be so vulnerable.

For example:

  1.   I am sensitive and emotional.  This makes me vulnerable to misunderstand and be offended.  The scriptural principle at Ecclesiastes 7:9 says “Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense lodges in the bosom of fools.”  Need I say more, I have stupidly taken offense needlessly with heavy consequences.
  2. Emotional impulses that lead to eating or spending without control.  I feel so happy I am going to have a piece of cake, or I am so depressed a little shopping will make me feel better.  Feelings can be misleading and can bring on a heap of problems.  Instead, I feel so good I am going to take a walk and enjoy creation.  Or, I feel so depressed I will just go take a little walk and enjoy creation.  It works both ways.  The Bible principle I think of is, 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says “therefore whether you are eating or drinking or doing anything else, do all things for Gods glory”.

There are many bible principles that aid us in daily living.  And when answers are not obvious a lot of prayer and decisive baby steps with patience can bring about good results.

Written by:  Gina Rydin author of all fatfitanfab.com articles.

Please keep in mind, you decide and choose what you do.  I speak only from my own experience as your neighbor or friend and I am not a healthcare professional.

Altogether untogether, do you ever feel this way?

At times, life’s responsibilities are so overwhelming it is hard to remember whom we are and what we like to do.

We try so hard to keep it together, then it is so easy to land onto the couch and watch an episode of Gunsmoke or something.  Yet, is it becoming our thing, our habit to drop and chill?  Is there any other way to reconnect with the joy of living the life?

My Dear mother in law is living with us.  She is 101 years old.  Overall it is going fine.  My husband nor I feel well and it makes everything so challenging.

Thankfully, she does not complain much and goes with the flow.

A friend makes pound cakes and shares by showing up at bad times and gives these to encourage others.  Although it has been a couple years and she is going thru so much herself.  I believe she deserves some pound cakes.  I asked Lisa to share her recipe and she did.  I know there are thousands of poundcake recipes online, but there is nothing like one shared by a friend you know to be good.  I brought Marcia into the kitchen and we visited as I put the cake together.  It was a nice experience and it turned out well.  This afternoon Marcia looked at me and said, where is this cake we baked?!  So I brought her a big piece and she liked it.  Which of course made me very happy.

Today, I just wanted to be in bed.  Everything hurts and I am tired.  This week there has been plans to teach a young lady how to sew pillows an insert the forms.  Her mother and she picked out many nice fabrics at a fabric store and pillow forms.  Marcia enjoyed watching us girls measure, cut and sew.  All turned out fine and it was a joy.   Her mother gave me some of the lovely fabrics.  What a treat!

When I plan time w others I have to think ahead for the meals to avoid temptations of eating out.  Our middle son Brock gave me a rice cooker so tonight I dropped in frozen chopped Peppers an onions, a couple packages of jumbulia ricean beans, Conecka sausage, chicken broth and pinto beans and just let it cook itself in this rice cooker   It turned out very well with minimal effort.   When your just tired it makes you happy when things turn out well.

We made an agreement this week to really watch how we spend and that we want to live on the leaner side.  We do not always recognize how easily we live in a luxurious manner.  We meaning anyone.  We want to pay off any debt and live within our means more closely.  Circumstances change and are we really prepared for them?

My friend Vickie, her husband is dealing with extreme health issues, she has a special needs son besides.  Vickie has always managed to keep her home together, help others and go for walks.  We were talking tonight and reminding each other of the importance of having little things you like to do.  Making time to do these activities.   Vickie is accepting help from others to take her husband for his treatments.  It is humble of her to accept the help because he and she has been good to so many over the years.  He gains encouragement from spending time with others and experiencing their care for him.

A family we cherish in the Panama City, Florida area that was affected by the hurricane expressed today that they are just longing for some normalcy.  We really were designed to have routines and steady circumstances.  Our creator designed us to be stable and that is what we yearn for.  When our world is upside down we are too!  They will be coming for a brief visit in a couple weeks and we look forward to it.

I am taking a course with the Tidy Tudor.  It is very enjoyable.  About good habits and ways of thinking that affect our life in a more healthful manner.  I am not naturally organized and would like to be.  Kathy Roberts is very motivating with a new step each day or concept to consider.

Right now the house seems a mess and it has only been six days that I finally got a shot to settle my asthma down.   I am not up to par.  My husband and I neaten up and Vaccume before bed because we like it looking nice when we get up.   Somehow, it gets totally destroyed each day, I do not know how it happens.

Three points to get out of all my jibber jabber.

  1.  Remember some activity you always enjoyed doing and include that in your life.  Whether it be working out, dancing, tennis, woodworking, needlework, gardening or baking etc.  make the time for it.  It is important!  Even Daily Bible Reading  is considered to be the most valuable of activities to include in our life.  I know making the time for it makes a difference in my outlook and attitude.
  2. Include people in your life no matter how crazy your life seems.  People help keep our perspective healthful.  I enjoy company, such a boost!
  3. Habits and routines are sanity keepers.  If it is difficult to get on track, ask for help or take a mini course.  Tap into our reset button and just do the basics until recovery is bestowed on us.  Choose something from each of the three on the list and see if it does not help a little.

Our lives are always changing and we must adjust or we can break under the pressure.

Written by:  Gina Rydin of fatfitanfab.com

Being Inspired and Inspiring others

Radiating warmth, comes from a mind and heart full of optimism for the well being of all you come in contact with.

The fact that hardships abound and there is no discrimination.  We cannot know the pain in another’s heart.

We cannot solve others problems, yet, we can lift another’s spirits.  It may be possible to help them see other choices available.  The power of making choices based on the best of options and possible outcomes can improve our life.

Fear can blind us to the options we have.  We can feel so limited because of our situation.  Threatening situations can keep us bound, like we come up with all the reasons to avoid a change. Imaging our situation will become worse, and yes it could.  Yet, a change is just that, a change.   It could change for the better as well.

Supporting another’s progress whether it is weight loss, or a cleaner home, or a more positive attitude is supporting a better society. We must invest in each other joyfully and optimistically.

A friend of mine is so perky, generous, optimistic.  She is refreshing.  I have been gravitating toward positive people. It is great having her in my life.

At times we have people in our life that are so emotionally taxing.  Emotional heavyweights are just that, how can we help them to have a different view of life?  Sometimes we cannot help another with their viewpoints or problems.  We may be the heavyweight ourself with the serious problems.  Our circumstances may seem daunting.  There may not always be clear answers.  We can always reconsider advice previously offered.  I have not always been ready to change, then privately, I think and pray about it.   There are times I try a new way and am benefitted.  It is easy to understand why change is so difficult.  I am a reforming near-hoarder.   Sometime, I will tell you about it.   People have tried to advise, counsel, and emotionally force a change.  Only the last couple years have I figured it out with the help of some good programs. Change can feel like a very drawn out process.  I want to be better now!  Ok, I am better now because I am making the adjustments.  Impatient with myself because I know how I want to be, and change is a practice, not a wish.

We might feel bad that we cannot help another, we after all have our own responsibilities and problems.  The Bible says we will carry our own load.  If we are on the phone every day hearing about another’s troubles, and we are so emotionally involved we get stressed how can we adequately attend to our own.  Imagine if we have a mate and children and we use the time we should be attentive to them to be stressed about another’s problems while neglecting those we should be actively loving.

Friendships are essential to emotional health.  A friend is someone that we can enjoy activities with, talk with, enjoying a positive interchange.  I have some friends whom are optimistic, they have not given up on me.  Their faith in me is essential and supports my growth.  I have a belief that a hand-up policy is the best.

Some enter our life suddenly like a breeze.  Refreshing their ways are and we  blessed.  In many ways we feel capable again.  We look forward realizing change and joy are possible.   They are an answer to a prayer. Just as suddenly they have moved on, but we were blessed.

Thank you to all whom have had faith in me, loving me despite.  Thank you!

Gina

 

Devastated but not Defeated!

It is said we live through our children.  To a degree this may be true.  As parents, we try to raise our children better than we thought we were raised.  We invest time, a lot of money, love, confidence so they can have a grand future.   How is this working?

The sad reality is children grow and go no matter how we raise them. We can be great parents according to our perspective, or we can be terrible parents according to their perspective.

What is the point then?  Parenting is a tough job. The world is against us in many ways. Our children are exposed to everything we try to protect them from.  What we said no to is the first thing they seek out when given a chance. Some adult children reflect on instilled values and use them as their guide.   Others have to tread on all sorts of troublesome paths and have to suffer consequences they never contemplated.  Yet, they come to the parents for a bail out with many affectionate promises.  We suffer right along with them, no, we suffer more.

The emotional an financial consequences to parents are deeper and far more extensive than the young adult cares to imagine.   As adults to whom made their own choices that were not always the best, we can see where a situation is headed. Sadly, the young adult grows deaf as we inquire, reason or suggest. They imagine they are smarter an wiser.  In fact they do not have the ability to see in their mind’s eye that we were young like them.  An they cannot see they will get old like us.

It is good to be there for our loved ones.  Yet, we must be cautious not to have our love exploited. We cannot have trust, faith, an confidence in them to an unfailing degree. They will make choices we would not want them to make. Our children may disappoint us at times.

Imagine the 1950’s era parents an how they suffered with hippy era children. There were not cell phones, so if your young adult went off on an adventure it may have been a long time before knowledge of safety and wellness was recieved.  Each era has it’s benefits and it’s grief.

The conclusion I have come to is that there has never been a perfect parent and there is no perfect child. The only perfect parent is Jehovah and his son Jesus was a perfect child.

When Adam an Eve disobeyed their father Jehovah he was devastated.   Yet, he refused to let his affections leave him defeated.  Jehovah had to step back an leave them to go the way of their own choosing.  Jehovah was a perfect parent, he generously provided for all their needs.  They could have been perfect children yet they threw it away choosing to ignore the warnings from their father.

As Jehovah was a perfect parent an yet his two children with free-will made devasting choices our children too may at times lack appreciation or they may make choices that confound us.  We may be hurt and disappointed.

I believe when our children disappoint us, we need not blame ourselves or our mate.  Some children come around later, and we can have faith they will.  If we invested love, and good training in their upbringing then we can hope they will return to the things beneficial.

We need not be defeated.  We have our own life to continue living with Joy.   It is vital we let go of those with free will and have confidence in their return. We have a responsibility to learn how to live our life well by using our free will in a most beneficial manner being a good example for our children to long to return to.  Are you living your life?

Imagine the interests that were put off to raise children.  It is time to contemplate the interests that were negated and invest in our future as we learn to live a joyful life. Our job is to raise a new generation, let go, live a few years productively until they must return to care for our needs when we are old.  So really, whom has the last laugh.  The elderly as they piss away their dignity with little control so they learn to enjoy the small things in life.

It is important we learn to enjoy small joys and activities while we are still young enough.  Why wait until we are old?  We are not defeated because we know we were not perfect children, we were not perfect young adults and nor were we perfect parents.  So we cannot take it personally when our children make greivious decisions.  Let us live!

 

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June is running by ….July approaches …

June is running by, and half the year is now behind us.  What do we still have to do?  Is there anything we wanted to accomplish this year?

It is a good time to refer back to our Goal List for the year.  Three areas I like to consider

  1.  Health and Fitness Goals.
  2. Relationships
  3. Domestic

1.  Health and Fitness Goals:  Let us expound on the most typical goal for the year, Health and Fitness.  Each year we get older and even young people are experiencing health problems.  We will not even discuss the newfound issues with healthcare and insurance costs.  The high monthly costs of mandatory insurance is causing many to avoid visits to the doctor because of high copays and deductibles.  If there was not a good enough basis for a healthy diet and regular exercise, there is more motivation now.

We have one body, and our health we must seek to protect it.   Wise choices, no extremes are necessary.  Fruits and vegetables never go out of fashion and are readily available in most markets.  It only takes moments to use a regular blender to make a nutritious cool drink.  Would you like to know my recipe for a quick tasty fruit smoothie?

One I have been using for literally decades is, I will call it:

Fruit Frapp by Gina @  fatfitanfab.com

one serving recipe:              6 oz orange juice, (not from concentrate), or 6 oz of water. a banana, a peeled apple, and one cup of frozen berries.  Put in the blender, put on for 40 seconds to a minute an a half.    If you do not want to use a bannana, you can substitute a cup of fresh-cut papaya.

The banana or papaya give the drink a smoothness like a shake.  The frozen fruits may have raspberries in which do have seeds.  They remain like seeds. I just swallow them.  If a person has digestive issues like diverticulitis the seeds may bother them so you may choose just a strawberry/blueberry mix.

Be careful if you have diabetes or blood sugar problems.  Only you know if you can have citrus, some medications are a problem.  As I am not a doctor or nutritionist, I am only sharing a recipe which helps me to get my vitamin C, other vitamins, and natural fiber.

I like to make vegetable smoothies in the late afternoon before I start making dinner, that I can sip which can get the edge off hunger and be quite satisfying.  My cardiologist did recommend simply having a V8 each day.  I do not have a great tasting vegtable smoothie that is quick to make.  I do like spinach, a clove of garlic, a handful of fresh parsley, two carrots, and a celery stalk with the leaves.  I do use a pinch of salt because I naturally have low blood pressure.  Then I blend in my regular blender.

Responsible self-care involves regular exercise.  With all the responsibilities people have in their life it can be a real challenge to cull out the time to take a walk, or take a bike ride, or use an exercize machine.  Yet, it is relaxing, destressing, and exhilarating.  Not only can it help us to maintain our weight, it can help prevent us from gaining more weight if that is our objective.  If our objective is to lose weight, than exercising daily with a plan can help us reach our goals.  I had ankle surgery on my right ankle in the beginning of February.  It all seems so slow to heal.  Both ankles have each had two surgeries.  As much as I want to take off and go for a run, or go for a walk it is just not reasonable at this point.  I purchased a bike and I have been striving to go for a ride a few times a week.  The heat is unbearable for daily rides and I am unfit.  Should I call myself unfit?  Maybe that is harsh to label myself as unfit since I do regularly do daily stretching and isometric exercises in my home.  OK, I will accept the congrats! for maintaining my regular stretching and isometric exercize program for decades.  The exercizes I do help me to deal with chronic pain associated with lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis.  I have a lot of muscle spasms and nerve pain.  The exercize helps me to feel that I am taking responsibility for what I can control.  The exercize benefits me also because I like to have a scoop of ice cream, and I have diabetes, therefore, exercize keeps the sugar manageable.

Each health situation is different, but so many suffer.  If we take some time to consider our own situation, and start right away to manage our health before more serious problems develop.  Not only can we keep our healthcare costs down, we may feel better.

2.  Relationships:  Relationships affect our peace of mind.  The relationship we have with our creator, with ourself, with our loved ones and if we are employed than we have our social relationships.  Can we improve all these relationships?

The relationship a person has with their creator can affect how they also feel about themselves and how they live their life and the consequences etc.  I have no more to say on that subject.  It is worth considering privately.

The relationship we have with ourself is very complicated indeed.  So much of how we feel about our-self is deeply rooted from our conception, our upbringing, the family situation, the make up of the family dynamics.  Some come from secure family situations, that is very rare these days.  Some of us are very wounded from broken homes, lack of security, an absent parent, and some experience abuse.  All these factors shape us.  Yet, we do not have to be defined permanently by any of these situations.

Earning a healthy esteem is a very valid concept that I have lived by for decades.  We may remain sensitive or fragile.  Yet, I think of a flower that appears to be fragile, sure, someone may be cruel and pull some petals off.  If the flower is left alone, it can even go thru a thunderstorm with high winds and still remain beautiful.  Someone may pull our petals off, but we must remain rooted in what we know and what we can do.  We can bloom again and if necessary, we can be the seed that blows in the wind, and be rooted elsewhere.  The sun, the rain, will come again.  A positive attitude and hope are fortifying.

When I went thru some health dilemmas this last year, the effect had a stifling effect on me.  I felt incapable and unable.  I quit writing, painting, making bread, and sewing became a rarity.  Cleaning the bathroom mirror I wondered if it was done right.  No one was doing this to me, and I cannot blame anyone.  The doctor whom helps me with my life management skills regarding my attention deficit, he helped me to realize that something was rooted in my youth.  He said, “OK, you do not want to blame anyone, you do not want to blame it on something in your youth, mistreatment you endured.  Yet, you do acknowledge you were not in ideal circumstances to grow a healthy esteem, you did not feel safe, and your accomplishments were met with disfavor by those whom should have been proud of you.  If you can accept this, you can move on.  You can find a new way to respond to your accomplishments.”  Of course, I did not have a tape recorder and it may not be a perfect word for word account.  That was the basic jist of it.

To get thru all of this, I kept the habit of making my Master List for the month and the week.  I referred to them often.  A book from the Library on Productivity that I referred to in one of my previous published articles suggested that when I make my TO DO List that I leave room between each to put a couple of actions that are logically needed to accomplish the task.  This really helped me to get more done.  Feel Good Feeling!  My friend Mattie has an infectious cheer about her and giggle.  She is all about giving yourself a cheer when you complete something.  I am trying it, and it feels good.  My husband John likes to stand back and look at what he has done, you can see his pride well up even with the smallest of accomplishments.  I use to look at him in wonder when I would walk up and find him doing so, in fact, because I did not understand it, I thought it was downright silly and it made me a bit uncomfortable.  Over the years, I have slowly come to understand this gift.

Did you know that at the end of each day of creation, our Great Creator would say “It is Good!”.  We are made in his image.  So if we know we worked hard, and we did our best, I believe it is healthy to feel “it is good”!   My relationship with myself is greatly improved, and I am sewing again.  If we can possibly have a healthy esteem, we can then be healthy to be in a relationship with.  Our relationship with our mate, family, children, and work mates can be healthier if we are more positive to be around.  By having a healthier diet and exercise program, a healthy attitude, we can have healthier expectations of others too.  Nurture those relationships respectfully.  Each person is subject to the law, and each person is protected by the law.  If that is remembered, then abuse would be uncommon.

Last night I saw true love.  A couple with their toddler entered the diner  where we were enjoying a meal.  The man was lovingly affectionate and obviously proud of his lady and the child.  He was quite handsome.  She was quite obese and unkempt.  It likely had been a hard day for her.  Yet, this man loved this woman, and she knew it.  I was greatly touched.

3.  Domestic, no I am not talking about domestic beer.  It is where we live, what we drive, and where we spend our time, and how we manage it all.  Half the year is gone, there is some warm weather maintenance we can do on our home, car, and property.  Have you made your punch list?  I want to get into the car and do some deep cleaning, and it is not just because I turned a to-go container of spaghetti upside down in the back seat of the car yesterday.  I was already planning on a thorough detail clean of the interior of the car, now it just seems more immediate to do.  Thankfully, my caring husband got the spaghetti spill cleaned up, but I do feel I need to do that thorough cleaning in the next day or so.  Light colored car, little spots could be anywhere.  This time of year is a great time to clean the garage, and have a garage sale or donate your goods.  Fix your bicycles and use them.  Plan a trip to the zoo, or keep cool in a museum, visit family, or go away for a long weekend.

John got some weatherstripping done on all the doors last week.  Our lovely old yellow cat, PUFF, has already scratched up the new weatherstrip on the front door.  I am going to do a smelly hairspray on the lower door frames after I rub a little essential oils on the weatherstrip.  We still need to get some exterior painting done.  There is a list.  I am eager to get the windows clean.  As I am zeroing in on a room at a time with the deep cleaning,  the last thing I do in the room, the final touch is cleaning all the glass, which includes the windows.  Doesn’t it make everything look good.?

Attention to these three areas can give pretty quick improvement in many areas of our life. We can already feel better about this year and all we hoped to achieve.  We live in a very demanding and often insecure world.  Gently, yet, effectivly gaining more control over our health, relationships, and domestic situation can give us a sense of accomplishment resulting in a healthier esteem.  June may be gone by,…we still have a half year to fulfill our goals.

 

 

 

 

 

Mother in Law, isn’t always the way you would think.

There seems to be a negative connotation related to The mother-in-law.  Considered overbearing, interfering, and controlling are some popular descripts of mother in-laws.  Yet, what must be considered is that the mother in law, was also a daughter in law.  Should there really be such a domineering division when we both love the same man?

Marcia, my mother in law is the most interesting woman.  She is about to be 99 years old.  Her mind is sharp and she still does her own laundry, checkbook and taking her dog on walks daily.  We are impressed.  Really, she is a very generous and caring person.  I have learned so much from her.

Being born near the end of WWI and being raised by immigrants, her family new to the United States.  Marcia’s father being killed in an accident when she was a teenager around the time of the great depression, she learned to live by her wits.  She married during WWII and her husband right away went off to fight in WW11 and she found she was pregnant and she had the first of three sons.  The industrial revolution started, and her mother lived with her, so she went to work as her mother cared for the young boys.  You had to get into a long line and hope to be picked for the job.  There were some very beautiful women in line, and Marcia was clever but not endowed with the beauty, yet, she had a very nice figure and she dressed professionally, with a sparkle in her dark eyes and a bit of moxie she has led a very exciting life.  Taking trips and traveling to other countries she has treasured up many great memories.    She knit, and she sewed and she made all she desired.  Marcia learned knitting and sewing from her mother whom was from France and was a professional milliner.    She bought a large property with a dilapidated house, and she turned it into a very nice home.  She bought a horse and rode it before work each day.  She worked as a secretary in the Judicial Department.  Marcia has always had dogs, Marcia gave to charities, and supported causes, and she strived to be a good neighbor.  Marcia kept busy going to different fairs and shows, she did not feel she had to go with anyone.  She did what she wanted and she has enjoyed her life.  We have a lot of good times together.  I love to go over my projects with her, I feel she is very keen on creativity and I love her input.  I wished I knew her decades ago, I needed her then as well.  I really have great respect for her.

The mother getting older losing the control and influence on the adult child she raised, and the new wife asserting her independence of a new family.  All are threatened by the potential abuse of familial affections.  The adult child is put in a precarious position between two whom both claim to love them, that are both competing for devotion.  One day when we were going head to head and my husband seemed stressed and caught in the middle I said “Aren’t you a blessed man to be in the company of your two favorite women?!”  It settled all our dissention with a little humor and he expressed if we did not figure out how to get along he would have to leave the two of us at the table.  I have enjoyed more time with her in a great variety of activities, more than the mother whom raised me.  A mother-in-law is a woman, a person, not just as you see her now.  She is a woman with experience, history, accomplishments and sorrows.  She is the person whom raised the man we love.

If you care to, make your mother in-law your friend.  It is a relationship worth tending.  I have learned so much from her.  All a mother wants is to be loved, valued, while spending time with her.  We need to make time for them because it is a sad reality we may not always have them available to us as the years go by.  Call your mum and express some love and appreciation.  I am a mother in-law now, and it can be just as scary to us learning how to interact with the new daughter in-law.  I started out giving too much advice imagining it was valuable, forgetting all the mistakes I made, I created a level of discomfort.  Is she walking on glass too?  Respectfully loving relationships are worth the endeavor.  We all have to try.   You do not quit gardening just because there are weeds to tend.  Time is the intimidating factor, because we  imagine that someone will always be there, and things will be the same.  Things do not stay the same, spend time with your mothers.