Monday, Why I love Mondays.

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MONDAY, MY FAVORITE DAY!!!

Monday is a day many dread.  It seems to some all falls onto their head on a Monday.  Being overwhelmed, the day can be unproductive, stressful, depressing, and it does not have to be this way.

About ten years ago I met a refreshing person whose name is Annemarie.  A perky blond whom looked like Meg Ryan.  I invited her to do something with me for the upcoming Monday and she said no, any day but Monday.  I asked her why not Monday.  She told me that was her day for herself.  She used Monday to get rest, to clean, do the laundry, to do gardening and lay in the sun.  I was so impressed that I have reserved Monday ever since.

A DAY OFF: If you have a choice in the matter.  If you can afford to work four days instead of five, why not take Monday off from your employment.  Many take Friday off by choice viewing it as a vacation day.  Yet, Monday may be an even better day to take off instead of Friday because it may be more fulfilling.  Everyone else in household is back to work and school.  Do not view your day as a day to Care Less or be carefree.  By carefully considering how you will spend your time on this special day, your life can take a change for the better.

Monday at home could mean an extra hour of needed sleep, getting in a relaxing walk, a trip to the library or museum by yourself, meeting a friend for lunch, doing your bills, or yard work.  For balance in my life, getting chores done in the form of a quick clean makes a difference for the whole week.  I do not mean a slave day, more like a day of time blocks adhered to.  Having attention deficit, time blocks help me to focus without the temptation to multitask.  If I multitask then my mind is unaccountable and takes flight.  The day is gone.  This can still happen to me when I feel weak due to health problems. Yet, I strive to do as much as I can on Monday because for me it is a sanity keeper.

A time block for extra rest like sleeping in an extra hour, and an hour break in the middle of the day.  A block for phone calls, A block for laundry which during that time while washing and drying are going on I can clean the bathrooms and or phone calls.  A Block for quick clean which is 12 minutes per room.  (my quick clean is ten minutes to do a quick pick up, gather what does not belong in the room including trash and set at doorway, wipe surfaces quickly, then timer goes off and I quickly sweep or vacuum. Then on to next room and set timer for ten minutes).  (The Slob Sisters have a great book about this and The Fly Lady, for years I read and reread. They helped me so much.  It seems so hard for me to read anymore books yet I will never forget that their programs are fantastic).  Then I run and put doorway items away as fast as possible.  Time for a break when all done.  A block for yard work or errands.  The blocks can be minutes long or a couple of hours long.  Use the timer.  If the timer goes off before your done then one must determine if another day of a few minutes will make a difference or if a few minutes now will make a big difference.  This is not the day to get caught up in trying to get each room done as a perfectionist would.  Each week of this activity will make a few weeks worth of efforts a visible accomplishment.

I like Monday because if I get my Monday work done, the whole week is much smoother.

What I like to do on Mondays.  First, I sleep in as long as I need to, with chronic health problems a lack of sleep contributes to my flare-ups.  Secondly, I start the laundry  and make my phone calls.  I do a deeper clean up in the kitchen.  Monday happens to be my deeper clean kitchen day.  While wash is going I clean my bathrooms.   A quick pick-up and sweep-up through the house remedies the mess the weekends create. I wash towels every Monday, and if possible I may get a jump ahead by doing them on Sunday night.

Setting up my schedule for the week on Sunday night helps me to know what phone calls are vital for me to make.  Doing my phone calls by 11:00a.m. really takes the pressure off the rest of the day.  Over the week, I pay attention to whose anniversary, graduation, or achievement has come about that I can on Sunday nights or Monday write out these cards and send them.  My husband seems to enjoy running errands, and I like being home on Monday.  Emotionally, I really like being home on Monday because life seems so busy on the weekends, the downtime to get things done is precious.  I rarely accept an invitation to leave my house on a Monday.  Hanging my clothes out to dry is another thing I have done for decades and I like to do if the weather permits.  Cooking a good meal and doing a little meal prep to make the next couple dinners for the week easier is important.  Eating a little lighter during the day helps me to maintain my focus and lessen the burden on my internals.  A walk or isometric exercises refreshes me.

At 1:30 pm. on Monday is a PBS station sewing show called Sew it All.   I like to stop and enjoy this show and put my legs up.  It is only a half hour and because I enjoy sewing it is a treat to watch.  On Wednesday, Sew Easy comes on, I will tape it to watch later.  If sewing or painting or something else is your interest, give yourself  a 90 minutes time block to work on a project, and then that evening your free to get back to it if you can.

Filling my Monday with practical efficient activities sets up my week  for greater productivity and less stress.  Whether it is every Monday or only a once a month Monday, having this day to catch up on domestics, relaxing activities, yard work, gardening, and phone calls makes for a better start to the week.  It also is important to avoid time wasters on this day.  Unless the errands are vital for the week to go smooth try to keep most of the day to yourself at home.  Beware of Time Wasters such as gabbing on the phone, texting, internet cruising, or television watching.  This day is a day for yourself to reset and restore.  With an extra hour of rest, getting a home in order, car cleaned, laundry done, gardening, essential phone calls and bill paying your investing in a more peaceful life.  The week and month will go smoother.  The evening of Monday is a good time to be refreshed by going to bed early for an extra hour of rest before resuming regular activities on Tuesday.  Monday’s never get me … .

 

 

 

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Blogging! Why Me?

This assignment asks Why am I blogging, what is the interest or focus.  The reason I am blogging is I think life is interesting.  Despite challenges, there are ways to be emotionally fit to handle our troubles.  When life is falling apart, there are some things we can do to change our circumstances and live fabulously.  There are times we are helpless in our circumstances.  Men, women, teenagers, victums of abuse, everyone is capable of making a difference in their life and that of others.  My blog is devoted to the betterment of our personal lives with adjustments to the habits and routines we keep.

Street scene of storm overhead

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Storm brewing overhead as we travel south on I10. By Gina at fatfitanfab.com

The storm overhead was omninous.  As we drove south on I10 we were frightened and felt helpless with the impending doom.  Our radio was only static as we sought to understand weather conditions.

Life can be like that, a bit of news, such as the boss implies he wants to give you a headsup regarding an impending company downsizing, or a physical an bloodtest come back as abnormal which will change your life.  The devastion of the loss of a family member, financial stress, health or relationship problems can fill us with impending doom, no way out.  Our mind plays tricks on us as we deal with problems.

Our life will change, and we must seek ways to be resilient.  We cannot afford to get swollowed up in this devastation.  Our minds cannot work properly, analytically, to consider options in handling our situations.

Scarlet, in Margaret Mitchell’s famed novel Gone with the Wind had the right idea when she said, “I will think about that tomorrow.”  Although we would never want to procrastinate, putting off reacting to the pain may help us to handle taking some key actions in handling our situations.  Make time to deal with your emotions later in the week if possible.  This may sound unreasonable, yet if an action you take with a sound mind betters your situation it can also help your feelings about the situation.

I have storms in my own life to deal with and although I cried yesterday, today I have been taking neccessary actions.  This proactivness is empowering, although I may still have to face the inevitable, my chances for a better outcome are possible.  Optimism instead of grief or doom is the best medicine.

As we rode out the storm, it was very frightening, thankfully, we made it thru ok.

 

 

March, a month to Get Going.

The winter hibernation is over an it is nice to jump in an get going.

Personally it sounds like a bit of hype coming from me.  None of you, my friends an fans that enjoy my writing an encouragement to accomplish DESPITE, have heard from me in a while.

A small seemingly insignificant step into a depression in the ground became alot of torture treatments, an operation, a week stay in hospital, home health care, woundcare, an daily visits to the doctor so he can keep surgical site open.  The four hours in morning on iv antiobotics, an the four hours in the evening have me hostage an in great despair.

I would love to tell you how brave, strong an optimistic I am.  Instead, I am a sap, bawling each day, fearful of each days procedures, aggrevated because with pick line in rt arm, rhummatoid ulcer bigger than your hand on my left calf, an the surgical area on rt ankle.  I am not aloud to shower or get in a tub.  Washing out of sink like Grandma did 80 years ago.  So, whom wants to knit with iv in?  Unable to walk depending on knee walker, I cannot go out an garden at this point, no safe way in an out.

Does this sound like I am depressed?  Could I ever admit to being depressed?  I can only admit that chronic Illness steals your career, your esteem, obliberates your dreams, steals your energy, looks, an misrepresents you, lastly stripping you of dignity.  This is what decades of the violence of chronic illness has done to me.  Can we beat this monster?

Back to March, it is time to gather ourselves up for the March of life, we must march on with determination holding our head high.  If something is interphereing with your joy in living, what other measures can we take to get results?  Productivity an results, will add joy back into my life.

As I strive to heal, keeping a routine is vital.  I will get back to all of you soon.  If you know someone with chronic Illness, do not avoid them, offer to help with something, ask them what have they been doing lately.  It will encourage healthy conversation.

 

 

Lonely, How can a person get thru the next few days?

Do you ever feel lonely?   Why are you lonely?  Are you alone, or are you in a family and lonely?  Lonely, when there is so much to consider.  Why am I lonely, is it because I am alone?  What can I do to enrich this moment so I no longer feel alone?  Some people are alone, they live alone, and they may not live in the same community as their family.  Families are estranged too often which also contributes to aloneness.  For whatever reason, being alone is not healthy if that is a continuous situation.

If your alone because your mate works a lot or is involved in a lot of activities than have you mentioned that you would like to spend more time with them.   Mention it briefly without weaponry.   The other day, I mentioned to my oldest son whom is married and lives only about 15 minutes away that I am sad we are not able to stop in when we are in the area.  They both work full time, and their lives are so busy that they really do not appreciate people dropping by without calling ahead of time.  They are right.  I think I offended him in the way I commented about it, and he felt I was laying a guilt trip.  That was not my intention and it only further served up sad feelings and frustration that it was received that way.  Therefore, I have no recommendations on how to communicate your feelings.   Just let a person know you would like to spend more time with them and leave it at that.  If your mate is very busy, what activities can you do to be more busy?  Are you fulfilling all your personal and domestic responsibilities?  Join a knitting group or painting group at your local senior citizen center, they would love to have you there even if you are not a senior.  Each week have a day to visit local sites such as museums, gardens or parks, the library or bookstore.  Invite your mate, they may surprise you and take a vacation day off to join you.  The more busy you are, the more accomplished you become, the more you have to talk about, the more interesting you become.  Plan out the month ahead for yourself, then do them.  Keep your calendar visible so your mate can see what your interested in.  This is not to promote independence, it is only living a healthy life.

If you do not have a lot of relationships because you are new to an area then you must understand it takes time to build a relationship.  You do not have to sacrifice your morality or defraud your budget to have a relationship.  Dutch is best, your only in control of you.  Dutch means there are no misconceptions or hidden expectations.  You are nice because you go, be your own transportation.  You never have to prove how nice you are or how interesting or knowledgeable you are.  Yes, whom says you will even like the other party after you get to know them for a while.  So, do not put your morality or money on the line.  Integrity lost in an thoughtless eve can take years to retrieve.

When I am alone, I love projects.  What projects do I have on my agenda right now?  If you are my friend and I assume you are, I would tell you…

My dresser top which is about five feet long had everything it shouldn’t have on it for far too long.  The mirror fell behind the dresser a couple years ago, and because I am overweight, I did not care to look anyway.  Last week,  I decided to remedy the mess and took a couple piles of clothes off and put away, then I consolidated the perfumes and lotions. (Far too many) I do not need to buy more perfumes or lotions according to “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” expert Marie Kondo.  She advocates tossing most of what you have.  I do not agree with that point since I like what I have and I have the room for it.  I did access what I have with no pressure and made a mental note to use what I have.  There were a few things I chose to toss, and that I had got all the use I wanted from them.  Her program is great, I have just finished the second of  four cd’s from her series I received a couple weeks ago.

As I continued to group and organize my belongings of what was on my dresser top my husband John came in and looked at me and mentioned that ‘wasn’t it time I think about making dinner’.  I agreed that it was a good time to make dinner and that since he could see I was productively busy, couldn’t he make dinner.  Really, I did have the rice an vegetables done in the Black an Decker RC436 type 1, that our son Brock gave us for our anniversary last year.  John, he looked at me when I suggested he let me continue working.  He saw the bed was loaded up with piles of clothes, papers, and junk jewelry.  He left and went to the kitchen likely shaking his head wondering if I would get to clearing the bed.  When I went and stirred the rice which is periodically needed so as not to stick to bottom of cooker, I was pleased to see him using a cookbook trying to decide how he was going to marinate the wild caught salmon he purchased.  As I put away, tossed, or organized  I found things I had been missing.  Now the dresser was lovely again, I could see the dresser scarf I made a few years ago with a precious piece of jacquard fabric that I surged a nice edge on.  So satisfying, and the meal was very satisfying too.  He was very pleased.  The mirror is up, I feel looking into it is not so offensive.  One project done.  Is there a project nagging you to get done, make time now.

Another project is that I am trying to make a nice pair of denim sage green pants.  A good quality fabric always makes it worth doing.  Purchased pants no longer come up to the waist, and that is what I like, a hi-rider.  Do you sew?  Many men and women sew of all ages.  It can be frustrating at times, bobbins pop up, needles break or the fit is not right.  Fix it and keep sewing.  Finally the pants look like nice pants, just need to hem them.  That is not all, the frustrating part is that I have to take the yoke I designed off the back, and decrease a few inches because thankfully, they are too large at where the lower back is.  A couple darts and a zipper are required then, incorporating the lovely yoke is a creative challenge I am mentally working out.

A lot of rest I have needed in the last couple weeks due to extremely low blood pressure, fevers, and exhaustion.  When your dizzy, you should lay down so you do not fall down.  With a cut on the bottom of my left foot, whom wants to walk a lot anyway.  The infection in left leg seems to finally be healing.  Almost.  Sounds so dreary really.  Projects keep my mind busy.  Do you have projects?  Proverbs 31 suggest them greatly.

Loneliness, do you send cards?  Snail mail is the best, support our Post Offices and they will not be a thing of the past.  I value the sweet cards I receive and letters, and I send a lot of cards and letters every week.  I send cards and sometimes gifts to complete strangers.  If I hear someone does well at something, or if someone is sick, or suffers a loss, then a card is what I can do to support mankind.  Expressing commendation where it is truly due, or compassion, empathy and support, that is something any of us can do.  My handwriting suffers due to rheumatoid, so I prayerfully choose my words, and then I write a brief note.  The Tuesday Morning stores have beautiful stationary at affordable prices.  TJ Maxx, or The Ross are other department stores that also sell cards and or stationary at decent prices.  Do not wait for a card or wait for kindness or thoughtfulness.  When you send a card or small letter, send with prayers, hopes, but no expectations.  Every week cards or letters go out, and usually a few come in.  So sweet, the treasure trove of thoughtfulness can be in quiet moments.  Being alone enjoying expressions of someone now gone is also a healing.  The mother whom raised me, (some day I will explain that) sent me a letter with ten dollars suggesting I go get a dessert for the boys and I that we would ordinarily not do because of cost.  She lived far away.  We did as she suggested and that was so very sweet.  She has been gone for possibly twelve years now.  I have that little letter which I kept in a little box that I recently discarded, now it is put in a little book of knitting socks, and periodically a couple times a year I pull the letter out , read and weep.  Yes, she has no idea how meaningful the gift was then and how it still affects me now.

When the boys were toddlers, there I was now a single mother with three.  With no family to turn to, no child support, loneliness was a common occurrence.  Being overwhelmed with financial responsibilities, working contract work in the field of architecture and construction, life was feast or famine.  From mid November until about February, there were little opportunities to work, so I became an expert at stretching the dough.  One time, I earned three dollars too much to qualify for any assistance.  Others seemed to be doing so well on assistance, and we were getting evicted with no where to go.  I always have had my faith and many times my brothers and sisters in our faith were the ones to come to the rescue.  For that I am so appreciative.  I found it so humiliating to be in need and strived to handle our problems on my own.  There were times I was so lonely it was almost crippling.  Having projects even then was so helpful.  I made the most adorable denim and suede coats for my sons.  Proud I wanted them to be, and I wanted them to feel equivalent to those around, and I would tell them although we did not have bucks in the wallet, we were still richer than most.  I would take them to the Home Depot classes for children to learn how to make things.  They loved it, and it built healthy esteems in them too.  As adult men, they design and build whatever they want.  Blake designed a wonderful bed, dresser, closet unit, and it even had secret drawers.  I was so impressed.  He knows he can design and make what he needs when he wants.  It saddened me when they disassembled it.  Brock designed a treehouse with an elevator that goes up.  He lives there.  When people stop in, they always want him to take them up in the elevator to see the treehouse.   Brent, he is now a plumber, and he buys, fixes, sells, and trades cars.  He designed an entertainment center the whole length of the wall in his bedroom 14′ long, that was interlocking with no screws or nails.  Now he has designed an L shaped dresser, entertainment center, that also has cubbies for ties, and a shoe organizer.  He is striving to finish that.  So proud I am that we struggled through the hard times optimistically enduring.  They are three adults, sons that have proved to be survivors.  Do you have a single parent that you work with or live near?  Can you give them a gift card for a tank of gas, or an oil change, or a Walmart gift card for new shoes an socks for all, or haircuts, or coats.  With no expectations, a gift lifts both the giver and receiver.  Commendation also goes a long way.

So crafts may not be your thing, you do not want a mess.  How many people have guest rooms set perfectly up with the hopes of company that never comes.  I am a great advocate of the futon because it folds up into a couch and is a comfortable bed when need be.  My friend Michelle let me stay at her home unexpectantly for two an a half weeks when my father died.  I had just had another surgery and felt incapable of being on my own with a rented car an a place to stay, a short term amnesia besides the sadness of the situation and unnecessary family  drama, I was happy to have her generous support and the futon was comfortable too.  This was her and her husband’s office which was occasionally used as a guest room when need be.  Turning the guest room into a multipurpose room means you can keep your sewing machine set up.  Make yourself a blouse, or a pillow for a friend etc.  Or set up a small area to make jewelry or some other thing you have been interested in.

These next few days can be rough on some, take advantage of the extra time and learn something new, take a walk, call an old friend, finish something, or clean out your cabinets.  Make a list and work it.  I am starting to read the Bible book of Acts, I heard it is inspiring.  For some of these activities, being alone is a Godsend.

 

 

 

Whom is detached and depressed? Where is the reset button in my mind?

Getting reactivated after serious losses is equivalent to learning to live again.  Yet, down days, rainy Mondays, are bound to happen.  How do we get going when we just can’t find our start button?

I haven’t written a post for a week due to fatigue, anxiety, and sadness due to the loss of my father recently.  Stomach aches, low blood pressure, and low-grade fevers have me feeling weak and tired.  Over a week ago my son had a bad accident and has a compression fracture of the no. 2 Lumbar spine.  A Lot of tears of concern for him.  He is handling it better than I.

Today I went to see Nick whom helps me develop my life management skills, creative attitude along with my attention deficit.  Life management skills are essential for anyone with attention deficit, chronic illness, or depression.  I have been going to him for years.  He helps a lot.

Expressing my depressed state over such things, when I mentioned my blog to him he was excited about that and wondered why I did not mention that before during my visit today.  Although I have mentioned it on other visits, I haven’t expounded on it because I was still so new to it, and am still new.  It is being down that has prohibited me from writing this last week.  I felt, whom am I to think I have anything valuable to express under the circumstances.  I have an acquaintance whom said  “Give it up!  Whom do you think you are to write?”  Do we just roll over and give in when someone is discouraging?  This sadly effected me.  What motivates someone to be discouraging to another?  It is not love that promotes negativity.  I feel I have many unique and unusual experiences that have shaped my views balanced with sound principles.  It is my goal to help others to be resilient despite difficulties and loss.  We must always strive to be mentally fit to endure our present situations, while recognizing our limitations.

This particular article I present doesn’t really offer up anything helpful for anyone today, except a word of Thanks to all of you whom read and express appreciation for my better days and the articles I write and post.  Keep coming back, and I will keep writing.

Where is that recharge button?  Where is the start button I need to fulfill my responsibilities? One word of advice Nick gave me years ago is to just put four things on your to do list.  How is your TO DO  List?  I fill up a page or two sometimes.  It can be hard to face.  At the beginning of the day it can make you feel defeated before you start, at the end of the day it can cause you to feel like a failure.  A limited list helps one to address priorities, thus leading one to feel they have achieved something.  A successful business person enjoys seeing their certificates of success and achievements around.  Our certificates of achievements can be our crossed off short lists.  My mother would purchase the smallest of memo pads and she would put her list on that and that little book would be the root of her focus each day.  Flipping back thru the memo pad would make the doer of that feel mighty esteemed.

The Slob Sisters program breaks the list down into CaLL, Do, Send and Go, if I remember correctly.  I really like those two helping young homemakers get it together.  Over the years I have called, emailed etc. and they have always taken the time to help.  A young mother with no family around you can imagine how I felt with their help.  Their book “Get it together”  was a real hit about 20 years ago and I am due to read it again.

My friend Olivia picked me up and took me on errands and to my appointment with Nick.  I always enjoy my time with Olivia, she is never judgemental, just truly pleasant.  Are there any pleasant people out there?  It is a great quality to work toward.  She really built me up to face another day.  Tomorrow, if my body allows and Jehovah is willing I will only worry about the responsibilities for the day.  Now is the time to write my four items on my TO DO list, then I can pray about it,  Tomorrow is another day, another day for what?

Dedicated to a friend, Jamie whom is struggling with anxiety and depression.  May she have a better day and address the issues one at a time on short lists, so she can experience the joy of achievement once again.  All with Jehovah’s blessing and help.