PLAN IT, BY GOLLEY DO IT!

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Cowl neck scarf I finished knitting which matches my $1.00 skirt an my cute shoes.  Gina  fatfitanfab.com

Plan! Plan! An replan.  Are we more distracted than previous generations?  Are we less productive than previous generations?  I would venture to say yes, although, it is a general conclusion not based on any statistics.  Are you as productive as you like?

Personally, I feel totally sidelimed by a lack of awareness of time.  Then one gets caught up with their cellphone looking at messages an emails etc.  Time is lost an nothing to show for it.

Previous generations had more responsibilities than we do now, yet we have seemingly more stress an less satisfaction.

Life’s circumstances in many ways provided a simplified life.  There were no Walmarts, Lowes, Hobby Lobby’s etc.  It is easy to be a hoarder with two many interests these days.  Money was saved, set aside, and used practically for the families needs.  Now, credit is a sometime blessing and a many-time curse.  There is always something to buy, and good deals are seductive.

Home-made jams, soaps, candles, or knitted scarfs, or something embroidered were typical gifts when the thought was valued more.  Now, it seems the amount of the gift is a requirement of concern.  Practical gifts of building blocks or a log cabin set were appreciated.  Sadly toddlers are quite tech savvy yet building an engineering skills are being forgotten.  Mechanics, engineers and architects may become rare skills in future generations.  

Plan it! Do it!, Do it!, List it!, Do it, register it!  We go through the phases and we feel exhausted, discouraged as we relist what we want to avoid, yet need to get done.  I have many of these cluttering my conscious an unconscious mind.  Forgetfulness is a consequence of ignoring as a habit.

The standard too do list could be an off shute of our weekly and monthly list.

The standard “To do” list can be recycled into our “Got Done!” List.  I feel so much better writing down what I achieved today.  Also recording my circumstances, like a project manager or contractor on a job site will put in the Log, a start time, how many men on the job, how many subcontractors with crew size an specifics, the weather conditions such as overcast, windy, and 52 degrees, etc.  Writing my circumstances, obligations for day, health challenges, and achievements makes me feel very satisfied.  It is less likely I will judge myself unfairly.

We know what all we have to do.  Just put 12 minutes into the next step of the project and see what happens.

Living fabulously includes simplifying our lives to achieve more focus.  Our Great-Grandparents may no longer be with us yet their examples can always be reconsidered as it’s principles enrich our lives.  I call that a real inheritance.

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Loser! Or Winner? How are you labeled, do you label yourself?

How do you label yourself?  How do others label you?  Should we label ourselves or others with such expectations?  Either we expect too much or we expect the worst.

Growing up, it seems we are labeled at birth to be or not to be.  My natural mother attempted to abort me twice via home methods, and obviously was a failure.  As the welfare department knew before my birth they would have me, there were the worst of expectations.  I was instantly labeled unadoptable.  In my records it states I would have many defects and would always be an expense for the department.

Growing up, there were many surprises, that I was good at structural things, creative things, math, etc.  While I was continually reminded that I was not like others, and I was not capable.   To have goals or plans for the future I was setting myself up for disappointment.

There were health problems, yet, I was a lovely little child wanting love, affection, security and praise.  The foster family whom had me since three weeks of age finally got approval to adopt me.  It was really dad whom wanted me.  I was three an a half when Dad left an moved many states away.  At three an a half, I was very saddened when he just disappeared.  Only finding out this year that he left because she was so violent to the children, including me.  Therefore, I did not feel loved, wanted, secure, or praised.

This is not such a sad tale as it appears.  My teachers really made a difference.  Mother would tell them bla, bla, bla, and I was not capable.  Then the teachers would tell her good about me, and she could not deal with it.  When I was delighten from the rewards of achievements, and the praise of teachers, she happily knocked it out of me later.  But can you really knock it out of a person?

Unsavory people in our lives may not be comfortable with our small or large successes.  What is really wrong with them?  Do we have to be underahievers or flawed for others to feel right or superior?   Some are controlling beasts that have those expectations.

Whether it is the family dynamics that keep us in our place, a mate, or friendship.  Example:   “She is the lovely one an I am the fat one”. ” She is organized an I am the messup”.  Does the apparrent winner need a few losers in their life so they can bask in the position they have placed themselves in.  An aquaintance came over an spent a couple hours talking continously about all her achievements.  I praised her as I was very impressed with her hunting, fishing, an outdoor activities.  Finally later I mentioned that I sew some, an I showed her my most unorganized yet interesting workroom  with projects on maniquins an forms.  She was looking, seemingly impressed, then she suddenly said self assaulting words an phrases such as, “I am so dumb, I do not  know how to do that. I am so stupid an useless, …” About herself.  The discomfort caused me to feel regret showing her.  It appeared to me that if she was the only capable one at anything she was happy in this belief, but she couldn’t stand us both being capable.  This would be an unhealthy relationship if I let it develop.

Friends an loved ones support each other as we make decisions that better our lives or persons.  If you start getting daily exercize an get in better shape an become healthier, family members an friends are happy for you.  Or you start keeping your car really clean an clean up your home, these are positive changes you an those whom love you can appreciate.  You do not have to be the “fat one”, “lazy one”, “messy one”, “shy one”, we can make the adjustments to be whatever we want to be.

There are people in our lives that are superior at many things, we can almost feel inferior if we are not careful.  It is a bad habit to look at others an try to determine whom is a loser an whom is a winner.  We might even do it to our own children an label them.  We inhibit others when we put expectations on them.  Some have others expecting too much an then they get involved with all sorts of downfalls because they could not take the pressure of perfectionism and too high expectations.

Some do not expect enough of themselves an their life performance in such important areas as relationships, work, health an fitness, personal organization an habits, an money, they do fail.  This can be because of a lack of parental training, low esteem, or healthy habits.

The point of this article is that no one knows you like our Great Creator Jehovah and his son.  We can make adjustments in our life, habits, thoughts and attitudes.  It takes so long to truly know another, and never completely so.  We are a mystery to ourselves.  Imagine your better self, and then determine what is the next action to take to meet that change.  Finishing what I start fearlessly is what I am working on.  I am enjoying the rewards of that.

 

Lonely, How can a person get thru the next few days?

Do you ever feel lonely?   Why are you lonely?  Are you alone, or are you in a family and lonely?  Lonely, when there is so much to consider.  Why am I lonely, is it because I am alone?  What can I do to enrich this moment so I no longer feel alone?  Some people are alone, they live alone, and they may not live in the same community as their family.  Families are estranged too often which also contributes to aloneness.  For whatever reason, being alone is not healthy if that is a continuous situation.

If your alone because your mate works a lot or is involved in a lot of activities than have you mentioned that you would like to spend more time with them.   Mention it briefly without weaponry.   The other day, I mentioned to my oldest son whom is married and lives only about 15 minutes away that I am sad we are not able to stop in when we are in the area.  They both work full time, and their lives are so busy that they really do not appreciate people dropping by without calling ahead of time.  They are right.  I think I offended him in the way I commented about it, and he felt I was laying a guilt trip.  That was not my intention and it only further served up sad feelings and frustration that it was received that way.  Therefore, I have no recommendations on how to communicate your feelings.   Just let a person know you would like to spend more time with them and leave it at that.  If your mate is very busy, what activities can you do to be more busy?  Are you fulfilling all your personal and domestic responsibilities?  Join a knitting group or painting group at your local senior citizen center, they would love to have you there even if you are not a senior.  Each week have a day to visit local sites such as museums, gardens or parks, the library or bookstore.  Invite your mate, they may surprise you and take a vacation day off to join you.  The more busy you are, the more accomplished you become, the more you have to talk about, the more interesting you become.  Plan out the month ahead for yourself, then do them.  Keep your calendar visible so your mate can see what your interested in.  This is not to promote independence, it is only living a healthy life.

If you do not have a lot of relationships because you are new to an area then you must understand it takes time to build a relationship.  You do not have to sacrifice your morality or defraud your budget to have a relationship.  Dutch is best, your only in control of you.  Dutch means there are no misconceptions or hidden expectations.  You are nice because you go, be your own transportation.  You never have to prove how nice you are or how interesting or knowledgeable you are.  Yes, whom says you will even like the other party after you get to know them for a while.  So, do not put your morality or money on the line.  Integrity lost in an thoughtless eve can take years to retrieve.

When I am alone, I love projects.  What projects do I have on my agenda right now?  If you are my friend and I assume you are, I would tell you…

My dresser top which is about five feet long had everything it shouldn’t have on it for far too long.  The mirror fell behind the dresser a couple years ago, and because I am overweight, I did not care to look anyway.  Last week,  I decided to remedy the mess and took a couple piles of clothes off and put away, then I consolidated the perfumes and lotions. (Far too many) I do not need to buy more perfumes or lotions according to “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” expert Marie Kondo.  She advocates tossing most of what you have.  I do not agree with that point since I like what I have and I have the room for it.  I did access what I have with no pressure and made a mental note to use what I have.  There were a few things I chose to toss, and that I had got all the use I wanted from them.  Her program is great, I have just finished the second of  four cd’s from her series I received a couple weeks ago.

As I continued to group and organize my belongings of what was on my dresser top my husband John came in and looked at me and mentioned that ‘wasn’t it time I think about making dinner’.  I agreed that it was a good time to make dinner and that since he could see I was productively busy, couldn’t he make dinner.  Really, I did have the rice an vegetables done in the Black an Decker RC436 type 1, that our son Brock gave us for our anniversary last year.  John, he looked at me when I suggested he let me continue working.  He saw the bed was loaded up with piles of clothes, papers, and junk jewelry.  He left and went to the kitchen likely shaking his head wondering if I would get to clearing the bed.  When I went and stirred the rice which is periodically needed so as not to stick to bottom of cooker, I was pleased to see him using a cookbook trying to decide how he was going to marinate the wild caught salmon he purchased.  As I put away, tossed, or organized  I found things I had been missing.  Now the dresser was lovely again, I could see the dresser scarf I made a few years ago with a precious piece of jacquard fabric that I surged a nice edge on.  So satisfying, and the meal was very satisfying too.  He was very pleased.  The mirror is up, I feel looking into it is not so offensive.  One project done.  Is there a project nagging you to get done, make time now.

Another project is that I am trying to make a nice pair of denim sage green pants.  A good quality fabric always makes it worth doing.  Purchased pants no longer come up to the waist, and that is what I like, a hi-rider.  Do you sew?  Many men and women sew of all ages.  It can be frustrating at times, bobbins pop up, needles break or the fit is not right.  Fix it and keep sewing.  Finally the pants look like nice pants, just need to hem them.  That is not all, the frustrating part is that I have to take the yoke I designed off the back, and decrease a few inches because thankfully, they are too large at where the lower back is.  A couple darts and a zipper are required then, incorporating the lovely yoke is a creative challenge I am mentally working out.

A lot of rest I have needed in the last couple weeks due to extremely low blood pressure, fevers, and exhaustion.  When your dizzy, you should lay down so you do not fall down.  With a cut on the bottom of my left foot, whom wants to walk a lot anyway.  The infection in left leg seems to finally be healing.  Almost.  Sounds so dreary really.  Projects keep my mind busy.  Do you have projects?  Proverbs 31 suggest them greatly.

Loneliness, do you send cards?  Snail mail is the best, support our Post Offices and they will not be a thing of the past.  I value the sweet cards I receive and letters, and I send a lot of cards and letters every week.  I send cards and sometimes gifts to complete strangers.  If I hear someone does well at something, or if someone is sick, or suffers a loss, then a card is what I can do to support mankind.  Expressing commendation where it is truly due, or compassion, empathy and support, that is something any of us can do.  My handwriting suffers due to rheumatoid, so I prayerfully choose my words, and then I write a brief note.  The Tuesday Morning stores have beautiful stationary at affordable prices.  TJ Maxx, or The Ross are other department stores that also sell cards and or stationary at decent prices.  Do not wait for a card or wait for kindness or thoughtfulness.  When you send a card or small letter, send with prayers, hopes, but no expectations.  Every week cards or letters go out, and usually a few come in.  So sweet, the treasure trove of thoughtfulness can be in quiet moments.  Being alone enjoying expressions of someone now gone is also a healing.  The mother whom raised me, (some day I will explain that) sent me a letter with ten dollars suggesting I go get a dessert for the boys and I that we would ordinarily not do because of cost.  She lived far away.  We did as she suggested and that was so very sweet.  She has been gone for possibly twelve years now.  I have that little letter which I kept in a little box that I recently discarded, now it is put in a little book of knitting socks, and periodically a couple times a year I pull the letter out , read and weep.  Yes, she has no idea how meaningful the gift was then and how it still affects me now.

When the boys were toddlers, there I was now a single mother with three.  With no family to turn to, no child support, loneliness was a common occurrence.  Being overwhelmed with financial responsibilities, working contract work in the field of architecture and construction, life was feast or famine.  From mid November until about February, there were little opportunities to work, so I became an expert at stretching the dough.  One time, I earned three dollars too much to qualify for any assistance.  Others seemed to be doing so well on assistance, and we were getting evicted with no where to go.  I always have had my faith and many times my brothers and sisters in our faith were the ones to come to the rescue.  For that I am so appreciative.  I found it so humiliating to be in need and strived to handle our problems on my own.  There were times I was so lonely it was almost crippling.  Having projects even then was so helpful.  I made the most adorable denim and suede coats for my sons.  Proud I wanted them to be, and I wanted them to feel equivalent to those around, and I would tell them although we did not have bucks in the wallet, we were still richer than most.  I would take them to the Home Depot classes for children to learn how to make things.  They loved it, and it built healthy esteems in them too.  As adult men, they design and build whatever they want.  Blake designed a wonderful bed, dresser, closet unit, and it even had secret drawers.  I was so impressed.  He knows he can design and make what he needs when he wants.  It saddened me when they disassembled it.  Brock designed a treehouse with an elevator that goes up.  He lives there.  When people stop in, they always want him to take them up in the elevator to see the treehouse.   Brent, he is now a plumber, and he buys, fixes, sells, and trades cars.  He designed an entertainment center the whole length of the wall in his bedroom 14′ long, that was interlocking with no screws or nails.  Now he has designed an L shaped dresser, entertainment center, that also has cubbies for ties, and a shoe organizer.  He is striving to finish that.  So proud I am that we struggled through the hard times optimistically enduring.  They are three adults, sons that have proved to be survivors.  Do you have a single parent that you work with or live near?  Can you give them a gift card for a tank of gas, or an oil change, or a Walmart gift card for new shoes an socks for all, or haircuts, or coats.  With no expectations, a gift lifts both the giver and receiver.  Commendation also goes a long way.

So crafts may not be your thing, you do not want a mess.  How many people have guest rooms set perfectly up with the hopes of company that never comes.  I am a great advocate of the futon because it folds up into a couch and is a comfortable bed when need be.  My friend Michelle let me stay at her home unexpectantly for two an a half weeks when my father died.  I had just had another surgery and felt incapable of being on my own with a rented car an a place to stay, a short term amnesia besides the sadness of the situation and unnecessary family  drama, I was happy to have her generous support and the futon was comfortable too.  This was her and her husband’s office which was occasionally used as a guest room when need be.  Turning the guest room into a multipurpose room means you can keep your sewing machine set up.  Make yourself a blouse, or a pillow for a friend etc.  Or set up a small area to make jewelry or some other thing you have been interested in.

These next few days can be rough on some, take advantage of the extra time and learn something new, take a walk, call an old friend, finish something, or clean out your cabinets.  Make a list and work it.  I am starting to read the Bible book of Acts, I heard it is inspiring.  For some of these activities, being alone is a Godsend.

 

 

 

November Has Arrived

Overniight, we have gone back in time, and moved into another month.    Whom says the days are shorter,  If our days are shorter, how can we make more of our time?  We may have gained an hour.

There are four ways we can get more of our time.  If we are depressed or discouraged about darkness descending on our day earlier we must come up with an alternate routine.

1.  During this time change why not go to bed an hour earlier, and get up an hour earlier.  What can a person do with an extra hour in the weee mornin’ hours?  An exercize plan can be easily achieved with the extra time.  Domestics, chores, laundry, can be managed more efficiently when done earlier in the day when working an established period of time.  It makes the feeling of accomplishment and optimism a  more common occurrence.

2.  Getting ahead on paperwork, taxes, etc. is great evening work.  Put some good classical music on and organize your paperwork.   So many put off paperwork and get extensions when this last quarter is a great time to get a jump on it.

3.  Free classes online are offered in as many fields as you can imagine. These long nights are a tremendous opportunity to learn more in your field or another.  If you have been interested in a particular subject and have not had the time, now is the time.  I saw a class from Yale on architectural history, and one from Harvard offering Drawing lessons.  You can learn more in the career you practice or you can learn what you need to change careers.

4.  Do not put off your creativity any longer.  Are there projects you have been needing to finish?   Give yourself a couple weeks to work on some of these cast asides and clear them off your to do list.  You will quickley discover why you invested in the material you purchased and the time you already have put into the projects.   Have you wanted to learn a new hobby or craft?  There are many instructive videos online.  Painting, sewing, writing, woodwork, Bible study, and knitting are all activities that are productive and inspiring.  Many are learning hobbies and crafts to enrich their life.   The winter months make it possible to have an evening a week to spend at the local library.   Most Libraries have  activities and social events scheduled, look them up online and see what you might enjoy.

If you have been yearning to get something done or you have put off learning something new, these longer nights or early mornings are a great way to get more done while ending the year with a sense of fulfillment.

October, An Opportunity to Review …

October, it is the beginning of the last quarter of the year.  How have we done this year regarding goals for the year?  There are personal goals such as investing in our relationships, domestic goals, career, and self improvement ventures.

October can have five long weekends if you can get Fridays off.  There are five Thursdays, five Fridays and five Saturdays.  Long weekends for exterior house and yard maintenance. Can you plan a picnic, or attend a fall festival before the cold sets in?  We have 31 days to plan in which to advance on our goal list for the year.  I cannot believe we have thirteen weeks until 2016.

We decided to improve the quality of our family relationships.  Although we usually have dinner together at the table we typically scatter afterwards unless we are doing our once a week family Bible study.  Since we play a game like cards or a board game together 1 – 2 nights a week, and we do errands or exercise together it is really leading to some relaxed fun times.  To help in this area of spending time, last night we just picked up Subway’s new Pulled Pork sandwich with all these veggies on it.  This way, no work, no mess or great expense and we could spend the time in a funful way.  It does not have to be expensive or time consuming to be thoroughly enjoyable.

The furniture on the porch that needs refinished has been worked on a bit.  Still enduring a lot of tests and medications which leave me feeling depleted.  Baby stepping this project of the little three drawer sewing cabinet.  Puff, our fat old green eyed, long haired yellow cat has commandeered one of the little drawers.  She stays there all the time, sleeps there, and patrols the porch.  Likely, an hour will be all it takes to finish this little project.  Considering the percentage that a job is finished can help remotivate working on it to the completion.  I have so many unfinished projects, I could keep a retired person busy just having them finish.

Little projects with quick achievement is what the doctor ordered.  She said, “DO Not get committed to anything, keep the stress load down”.  How right she is, so I am striving to obey her orders.  I am awaiting to achieve a little stamina, the exhaustion hangs on.  One project that I enjoyed was this reversible lightweight knit fabric, it was in the clearance bin for about $2.  I made the cutest dolman sleeve, cowl, crop top to go over a sleeveless lightweight mock crewneck knit top that I purchased while in Maine at the Kohl’s there.  Using the Serger, sewing machine, I made all the seams exposed.  You see the light material on the sleeve, the dark on the body, the light on the upper front, and then both the light and dark make up the cowl.  It cheered me up to accomplish something so nice in such a little time over a couple days.  I am learning to knit socks, with the arthritis it is a challenge, and I just have to put it down when I keep making mistakes because my hands do not comply.  My mother in law was watching me knit one day and she said to me “I am not impressed!”  I said “With What?”  She said “I am not impressed with your knitting”.  I was like, “should I just put it down and forget it?”.  she said “I would.”  I kept knitting.  “Pants”, pants I said, I still need to make a couple pairs, with the surgeries I have to make my pants a little higher to the waist for them to be comfortable.  Everyone sees me in the same couple few pants over the last couple years.  They are in great condition miraculously.  I just need to make a couple pairs.

Do you have a couple little projects you have been wanting to do?  Can you block yourself some time to work on something your interested in?  Taking an hour before that time to better organize the area, to make sure your tools are set up and ready, to double check you have all you need will help you to be more efficient and productive.  I actually enjoy working in my work area cleaning it up.  If you were in my work area you would wonder about what I am referring to since it is very disorganized.  I like it organized, and it definitely makes me more productive and time wise to keep it that way.  You just feel better about producing something if the environment is orderly.

It may be possible to sign up for classes or groups of special interest.  There are many free online classes, and some not free. It can improve the quality of your life or help with your career goals. We took Brent, our youngest son out to a nice steak restaurant for dinner tonight, we are so proud of him for sticking with one job, and working so hard to finish his apprenticeship for plumbing.  Although he was young, he had an opportunity, and despite unpleasant work experiences with fellow employees at times, he continued with it.  He put off taking the test for another six months after he could have taken it because he was worried about his dyslexia.  He heard of so many failing the first two or three tests he assumed he would too.  When we realized what his worry was we just expressed confidence in him because we always listened to him about how he addressed certain problems, and how he resolved issues we knew he had the knowledge to be a Journeyman.  He passed, we are so happy for him.  A lack of confidence can play a big role in our not fulfilling our goals.  Pretend your confident and give it a try, if it doesn’t work, try another approach and try again.  Just TRY.

Losing weight and getting fit are important, and rate pretty high on most peoples yearly goal list.  We do have thirteen weeks before the new year, and approximately 25 weeks until Spring.  If we want to start 2016 looking better than we do now, there is a fitness schedule we can practice now.  There are parks, walking and biking trails. There are indoor facilities whether it is basketball, swimming, or such in which we can fit exercise into our life.  If someone is very busy, they can use an exercise video you can check out from the library.  PBS channels provide an exercise hour starting at 6 a.m. everyday.  I do isometrics each morning which helps me with my arthritis.  The weight loss is working incredibly slow for me.  This week I am working on even smaller portions, and striving to get some exercise in.  Let us all work toward improving our cardiovascular health.

Domestically, some people are already perfectly clean, organized and efficient, to them I say, Learn a Hobby.  Maintenance, and fall cleaning, and getting the HVAC checked for this upcoming winter season will possibly save some money.  Can you do without the air conditioning?  We love the lower bills in the spring when we let the house naturally be a little cooler by turning off the heat.  We turn off the air the first week of September.  This last hundred years or so is the first time in mankinds history that temperatures could be controlled to such a Degree.  People do not know how to be a little cool, or a little warm, always adjusting the thermostats.  Where are the sweaters or a blanket to ward off a little chill.  Reasonableness is imperative, if someone has chronic illness, is old or young they do not need to suffer.  When my spleen an ITP made me so anemic, I was so chilled all the time, having the house cold and the floors cold put me in a state of apathy.  It is not good to force our ways upon others.  All things must be tempered with love and compassion.

Depression for some is very severe when fall and winter comes upon us.  A new outlook should be considered.  It is a time to stay in and get a few things done, learn something new thru a class or hobby, and an opportunity to enjoy family.  I am with you, let us make the most of this October as we work optimistically thru this fall season into winter and the rest of the year.  We can accomplish so much.