choices

Goals! Attainable Goals, realistic goals. What does it take to accomplish your goals?

Goals, everywhere in the world people set goals for themselves. If you could make two categories which one would you fit in? How do you move from one category that is dissatisfied to one whom is thrilled by his success of accomplishment?

Two categories really? Yes, each category has their own identity. I know which one I am, you decide which one you are. I will only number each one, yet later I will name them .

Group #1. Usually hard working, positive to be around, their home and cars are spotless, they have time to go on trips and can afford it, they read books, they go running or biking most days, their family life seems happy, they can afford what ever they do yet seem a bit frugal. Whatever projects this person has they have no problem seeing it thru almost effortlessly and they are happy.

Group #2. Their brain is hopping, no end to the great ideas they come up with. If you could harness some of what they come up with we would all be rich. They are definately on to new horizons with this weeks ideas. The ones from last week have evaporated, it doesn’t matter they already purchased the supplies for the project because this stuff is pushed to the corner because something new, different, exciting is occupying their mind now. Drawings, lists, and numbers written down, this is a thrill, the best thing they have come up with, everyone gets excited, it looks like a real Go, they buy all they need,then suddenly it all comes to a Stop!. The depression hits, no money for bills, the house and garage are a mess. It is over, time to recover a bit. The money gone, the disappointment, the clutter and the half-dones. In a couple weeks a new charge of energy, sketches, lists, numbers and we are on a new wave. Do not touch my stuff for my other projects, I know what they are and I know where they are and someday I will do them.


Both types of people are fun to be around. You likely know both types. If your a little of both or a lot of one and a little of the other you can imagine the internal struggle it can be.

The Group #1, wins the prize, is #1!! The Doers. Satisfaction guaranteed. They know whom they are, they know what they want, they know how much money they have, they stick to budgets, they know how much time they have.
To be in group one you know it takes consistency to attain all your desires. To be fit you must be consistent w your exercise routine. To have a clean home we must pick up after selves, put things away, wipe surfaces daily, sweep and Vaccume regularly. If we want our car kept nice we cannot keep leaving stuff in the car, keep the car empty and tidy. Do a weekly clean an wash of car, I am working on this.
And if we want money then we don’t just keep buying or keep getting credit. We have a budget and mind our budget. If we want to take trips maybe we don’t eat out for a few months an save money for our trip. (This savings includes not just the travel, food, sights, hotel etc. it includes the amount of lost week of work, plus the amount for bills that would be due for the first couple weeks on return, this way you won’t be knocking on someone’s door because you cannot afford your rent or buy groceries. Keep yourself covered w proper planning).


Group #1 is a group of doers, they consider a project, set up their space, purchase their supplies and have their time planned out to work on the project and if they can work on it a few hours a couple nights a week until done that is how it gets done. Our friend Bob wanted to make a cutting board for his wife using many types of wood. It came out nice. It took a bit. He and his wife loved the finished project.

Group #2, are definately the Dreamers. If they could hire a full time staff to follow the dreamer about to pick up after them, to assist in the projects to finish the projects, to support the dreams it would be a wonderful world. Unless your rich already, we have to stop, focus, plan and be committed to see a project thru. It is a wonderful way to earn self respect by working thru the steps. It is challenging especially when the excitement is gone it is time to exercize commitment, loyalty, and continue even if almost bored. If our minds have already started a new project then we can invest in a project planner an give ourselves a half hour a day to develop our projects yet this does not interfere with our completion of projects we are already on board with. The dedication, follow thru, and daily doing what is required to accomplish the goal. These are qualities like skills that are rewarding. It can get boring, I am working on a tiny necklate scarf. It is boring I want to be working on this an that. Yet each night before bed I do a couple rows, each morning if possible I do a couple rows. Of course I started it with excitement believing it would be wonderful and beautiful. The fact that my mind wants to be knitting a sweater or socks is just normal. I will be so happy when the necklate is done then I can start the sweater knowing at some point I will be perfectly bored ready to be knitting something else. You see, I know this about myself, and I know I have given in to these treacherous feelings before. We know feelings can be misleading. By practicing commitment to our obligations we will be happier in life. If we practice followthru we will have satisfaction from achieving our goals.

For us dreamers, living within our means and not freely purchasing will give us peace of mind and a manageable budget.

It is a good practice to look at half starts of projects, work on them and finish. It makes you feel good and accomplished. It clears clutter and shows self respect.

It takes faith to finish what you start, if your mind is leaping about and leaving a path of half starts how can others take you serious and how can you take yourself serious. I understand, this has been me my whole life. Throughout my life I have started many, discarded many, and it brings grief. Do not allow your children to do this. They need expectations that where if reasonable without pain or degradation that they are encouraged to finish what they start. It builds qualities that will help them their whole life.
There are many projects I started and finished over the years that I was rewarded with joy and satisfaction because it was a worthy project.

By seeing the worth of our project, respecting the investment of time, money, and optimism we initially had we can go from being Just a Dreamer to a Doer! Keep doing, and fulfillment will be your reward! Plan it! Do it! Finish it!

September, All is not at a Loss! Goalsetters, Get Ready!

September, the beginning of fall, where will it take thee’, where can I go…?

September is the fourth to the last month of the year. The ninth month of the year, we still have time. Time is still on our side, if we get busy now.

What goals did you have for 2022? We can still amp it up a bit and get good results. Take time to consider what you thought was important. Are those things still important? Here are a few to improve all aspects of life.

We still have four Fridays and Four Sundays. No, we really only have three Saturdays. Confounding really! This is Monday, September 5th, 2022.

We can put our time to good use. Here are twenty things we can do in September that will help make the next few months go smoother. Make life more enjoyable. We can improve family life and become more satisfied if we just try a few of these or all of them. I would love to hear if someone tries them all consistently til end of the year. Is anyone willing to try all twenty? Yea!!! We can do this!

1. Any outside special cleanup and repairs for our home, property And vehicles. You can make that punch list. Weatherizing before cooler weather. Mulching, glazing, window washing, pressure washing, minor repairs or major. Getting them done will just feel good. It is cool enough to paint the house or trip to improve overall look of the place.

2. Maintenance to lawnmower, bicycles, other equipment. Wash, pump up tires, check the belts, chains, and fluids.

3. Put a check mark on our calendar each day when we get a 20 min or better walk or workout done. A smiley face if you like.


4. Weigh once a week like Tuesday and put that number on your monthly calendar each week. A record to reflect on helps quarterly, or sooner if need be.


5. Plan a trip, a short close by one for a long weekend. Or visit local zoos and museums.

6. Plan a couple Fridays or Mondays off to get some big domestic projects done over a long weekend.

7. Consider a totally new hairstyle, a new refreshing look. Do we still look like we did ten years ago? Can we grow our hair longer or cut it shorter? Go to a stylist and get some professional input. Just nothing high maintenance please. If your hair is already high maintenance can we simplify things and stop doing something that makes it high maintenance? Keep it nice, just try something new.


8. Is there something you can tweak about your diet that could help you feel an look better? A small thing. Cut down on the soda, or increase the water. Have smaller meals and include at least one or two veggie salads per day.


9. A reading goal, read some poetry or even the Bible five minutes a day. Something refreshing each day.

10. Call family weekly, you know the family that you rarely talk to, and you never hear from them. Just call! Say hi! It has been a tough couple years for everyone. Sorry for my neglect., what is going on with you? How is everyone holding up? Then listen. Express care and concern.

11. Time to pull out a hobby or craft, how about finishing that one you started a few years ago. I like doing little quicker projects while I have a bigger project. Keeps it mixed up so I don’t get bored. I do get bored, jump around, get nothing done. You should see all my wonderful drafts of articles I have written and not published. Boo Haw! I will! I really will honor them and finish them.

12. A basketball, tennis ball, or football? Take your pick, they can do nothing without you. Oh, really has it been years…it is not the balls fault. Your not crawling yet. Get busy with it, get active.


13. New recipes please, the food has gotten boring. I will elaborate in a different article. Challenge: Use a real cookbook you own and find a couple recipes to enjoy making.

14. Clean the car, go get it detailed unless your good at detailing it yourself. I am not good at detailing let alone anything else other than keeping gas in the car sometimes. I do respect those w clean cars. Maybe my self respect will improve as I improve. Imagine that equivalent to self esteem. Good decisions, good actions, good results, good esteem.

15. Look at the body, yea, the one in the mirror. Take measurements quarterly and keep track of improvements and the need to improve. I lost 8 inches just w tiny little exercises since last September with no weightloss. Amazing! Don’t obsess! Just do toning exercises. Weightloss, another subject as I have a lot to lose. Always trying, never denying, and one will never lose. Made up by me just now. Some of us could afford to deny less or more.

16. Driving, how is your driving? Do you speed, do you get impatient? Do you get up close to the vehicle in front of you? Do you mess with your phone while driving? We know what we do, distracted driving and accidents are real. Aggressive driving is happening all around us, we do not have an excuse even if the other driver is inconsiderate and rude. We are responsible for what we do. Tickets, accidents, all cost money and time. Keep a good record and you will feel blessed.

17. Gifts anyone? Whom doesn’t like a gift? A gift is nice to give or recieve especially without expectation. A loved one we reside with, can we pick up something not expensive yet meaningful they may like? Or, the gift of time, have they been nagging we get something done that we just almost refuse to do, just do it with a smile and love to bless them and yourself. Don’t make them ask again. They will appreciate what you do even more! Can you arrange with them a long lunch and meet for a light lunch or a coffee? How much does eye contact and a smile cost? Can we try to stop a moment each day and look at each member while they are talking, really see them, really hear them and w a thoughtful response of positivity to validate their concerns or expressions.

18. Board games anyone? I am game, I really love playing cards or a board game w my favorite people. You know whom you are. No phones at table it is rude! Relax, have fun together.


19. It is still early enough in season if you like to go boating or camping or kyacking. It is fun! I do not do those things but my friends whom do are always happy they plan the time.

20. The final Big One! Mathew 5:3 say Happy is the one concerned w their spiritual needs. Include time to Pray to the most High at Psalms 83:18 about all these matters to improve your life in all ways. He really will help you. As you know principles are the backbone of structure. Nothing good can stand without it. As we learn his principles and apply them in daily life we will see the good results.

This is September, we have 17 weeks until the end of the years. Let us finish strong and achieving much so we can gain the esteem that comes with good results. Good results come from consistent efforts.

We can Do It! Finish Well, improve our health, wealth, family life, friendships, environment, spiritual health and esteem. Joy will come, satisfaction will be our gift.


Your Author, Gina Rydin from Fat fit an Fab . Com

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July 2022

July, July, what can I say good about you?

The good news is that July has five three-day weekends. If it is possible to take a Friday and Monday off for a mini-vacation or staycatIon how wonderful would that be!

There are five long weekends either way if one wants to employ them.

If a household has school-age children then it’s a perfect time to go through the children’s room. The closets, drawers, etc. and see if they have age-appropriate things. Our children grow up in front of us yet we do not always see it happening. All too often their drawers an closets have things they can no longer wear. It is time to get rid of some stuff they no longer need or use. It us good to keep in mind that we have to exercise consideration and not get rid of things that might be important to them.

Yet by going through the closets and drawers seeing how many clothes they have that fits. This is the perfect time to make the list and take them shopping. A controlled shopping trip, is it possible? By having a list of what they need we can afford to get a couple things they really would like without blowing the budget. Then this is a good learning experience for them, purposeful fun w structure, control, yet a bit of freedom. Imagine that we can pair down, clean up, and be refreshed.

We can see it’s a good time to go through our closets, drawers and rooms. We can also see what we are no longer interested in or what we might need that’s new. We might need some new white blouses and some clothes have gotten dingy can get tossed or recycled.

Can we make time to clean the windows, baseboards and the doors. The furniture can be wiped down, do we need new bedding and can we change around the room? Time to consider is there any painting that needs to be done in these rooms.

Is there a room in the house that has become blaa? It is time to really look at this room, what do you see? Is there anything in the room that technically should be put away elsewhere? Is the rooms purpose obvious and utilized? Can the room be repurposed?

If you decide to repurpose the room or use it for its original purpose you need to plan an action. The first thing could be start with one corner and just pull everything out of that corner. Three things are handy like a trashcan, a box and a basket. Throw away everything that you just no longer have a use for. To put items in a box for what you can donate or sell. Anything in a basket to put the things that you’re gonna put away later when you leave the room. Set a timer and see how fast you can clear out this corner then proceed to the next one. See how much you can do and without stressing yourself out but feel a measure of accomplishment it may be an afternoon job or a job that may take you all week. I have areas like this and it’s overwhelming I didn’t see it happening at the time I don’t know how messes like that occur.

Although I’m not a big believer in ME time I do feel that getting some R&R is really important. If possible can you can plan a few days to go somewhere nice that’s not far away just to get some quiet time. Consider seeing some beautiful sites without expending a lot of money. Be refreshed!

What if there is a hobby you’ve ever wanted to explore doing. There are many reasons we put off personal interests you didn’t feel you had the room for it. Whether your limited with your time, space or finances. Maybe your life has changed or your circumstances different now. Has some children moved out or you have a little more room than you used to have? Or consider is there a possibility you really don’t need the guestroom and you can turn it into your activity room like your workout area with a desk in there for your office and if you like to maybe a sewing area. Really consider your interests and even if all you can do is make a corner of the room to suit your new interest your life will be enriched. July is a good time to reconsider the goals you had for 2022 that you came up with in January . Are you making headway on those original goals? If those goals were important to you? Is there anything more you can do to progress on the original goals? Are you watching your diet and getting your exercise that you intended? Some people have spiritual goals and wanted to read the Bible daily, are you picking your Bible up even if it’s only for five minutes or three minutes a day ? You can create a variety of things to do that’s different on each weekend to enrich your life you can plan it ahead of time even market on your calendar. The first week can be looking through your drawers and closets the second week can be some deep cleaning of those rooms and any necessary shopping. The third week could be a mini vacation. The fourth week could be repurposing a room or any other project that has been sitting to the side that you have wanted to make headway on. The fifth weekend it can be a joyful weekend having fun with family and friends . So whatever you choose to do with your month, look ahead and see how you can purposely plan it out to be rewarding where you feel accomplished and it makes the next few months a little easier by getting these things done and out-of-the-way. From your author Gina Rydin

Brent an Britteny married on July 20, 2016. Despite the storms of life, they found Love and Bravely face their future together with Jehovah as their stronghold.

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Brent an Britteny Bishop

Congratulations on your choice to Marry a person in the faith that you can share your life with forever.  Always be kind and considerate to each other.  Consideration practiced in daily life is part of the bond of love.  You two are loved by many.

Mystery,what will he do?

 

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Mystery, what is Lester to do?

    Mystery: What will Lester do?When your space is invaded, and you feel bullied.  What can you do?  A Bassett Hound is a known bird dog.  Laying down like a beaten dog is not the answer, typically Lester just sits there and barks.  Occasionally he will go after the roosters and hens.  There are times he is in his house barking at a hen that is eating his food.  My belief is Lester is resigned to the situation for now.  But, in your life, you do not have to be resigned.  There may be actions you can take for a not so mysterious outcome.
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June is running by ….July approaches …

June is running by, and half the year is now behind us.  What do we still have to do?  Is there anything we wanted to accomplish this year?

It is a good time to refer back to our Goal List for the year.  Three areas I like to consider

  1.  Health and Fitness Goals.
  2. Relationships
  3. Domestic

1.  Health and Fitness Goals:  Let us expound on the most typical goal for the year, Health and Fitness.  Each year we get older and even young people are experiencing health problems.  We will not even discuss the newfound issues with healthcare and insurance costs.  The high monthly costs of mandatory insurance is causing many to avoid visits to the doctor because of high copays and deductibles.  If there was not a good enough basis for a healthy diet and regular exercise, there is more motivation now.

We have one body, and our health we must seek to protect it.   Wise choices, no extremes are necessary.  Fruits and vegetables never go out of fashion and are readily available in most markets.  It only takes moments to use a regular blender to make a nutritious cool drink.  Would you like to know my recipe for a quick tasty fruit smoothie?

One I have been using for literally decades is, I will call it:

Fruit Frapp by Gina @  fatfitanfab.com

one serving recipe:              6 oz orange juice, (not from concentrate), or 6 oz of water. a banana, a peeled apple, and one cup of frozen berries.  Put in the blender, put on for 40 seconds to a minute an a half.    If you do not want to use a bannana, you can substitute a cup of fresh-cut papaya.

The banana or papaya give the drink a smoothness like a shake.  The frozen fruits may have raspberries in which do have seeds.  They remain like seeds. I just swallow them.  If a person has digestive issues like diverticulitis the seeds may bother them so you may choose just a strawberry/blueberry mix.

Be careful if you have diabetes or blood sugar problems.  Only you know if you can have citrus, some medications are a problem.  As I am not a doctor or nutritionist, I am only sharing a recipe which helps me to get my vitamin C, other vitamins, and natural fiber.

I like to make vegetable smoothies in the late afternoon before I start making dinner, that I can sip which can get the edge off hunger and be quite satisfying.  My cardiologist did recommend simply having a V8 each day.  I do not have a great tasting vegtable smoothie that is quick to make.  I do like spinach, a clove of garlic, a handful of fresh parsley, two carrots, and a celery stalk with the leaves.  I do use a pinch of salt because I naturally have low blood pressure.  Then I blend in my regular blender.

Responsible self-care involves regular exercise.  With all the responsibilities people have in their life it can be a real challenge to cull out the time to take a walk, or take a bike ride, or use an exercize machine.  Yet, it is relaxing, destressing, and exhilarating.  Not only can it help us to maintain our weight, it can help prevent us from gaining more weight if that is our objective.  If our objective is to lose weight, than exercising daily with a plan can help us reach our goals.  I had ankle surgery on my right ankle in the beginning of February.  It all seems so slow to heal.  Both ankles have each had two surgeries.  As much as I want to take off and go for a run, or go for a walk it is just not reasonable at this point.  I purchased a bike and I have been striving to go for a ride a few times a week.  The heat is unbearable for daily rides and I am unfit.  Should I call myself unfit?  Maybe that is harsh to label myself as unfit since I do regularly do daily stretching and isometric exercises in my home.  OK, I will accept the congrats! for maintaining my regular stretching and isometric exercize program for decades.  The exercizes I do help me to deal with chronic pain associated with lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis.  I have a lot of muscle spasms and nerve pain.  The exercize helps me to feel that I am taking responsibility for what I can control.  The exercize benefits me also because I like to have a scoop of ice cream, and I have diabetes, therefore, exercize keeps the sugar manageable.

Each health situation is different, but so many suffer.  If we take some time to consider our own situation, and start right away to manage our health before more serious problems develop.  Not only can we keep our healthcare costs down, we may feel better.

2.  Relationships:  Relationships affect our peace of mind.  The relationship we have with our creator, with ourself, with our loved ones and if we are employed than we have our social relationships.  Can we improve all these relationships?

The relationship a person has with their creator can affect how they also feel about themselves and how they live their life and the consequences etc.  I have no more to say on that subject.  It is worth considering privately.

The relationship we have with ourself is very complicated indeed.  So much of how we feel about our-self is deeply rooted from our conception, our upbringing, the family situation, the make up of the family dynamics.  Some come from secure family situations, that is very rare these days.  Some of us are very wounded from broken homes, lack of security, an absent parent, and some experience abuse.  All these factors shape us.  Yet, we do not have to be defined permanently by any of these situations.

Earning a healthy esteem is a very valid concept that I have lived by for decades.  We may remain sensitive or fragile.  Yet, I think of a flower that appears to be fragile, sure, someone may be cruel and pull some petals off.  If the flower is left alone, it can even go thru a thunderstorm with high winds and still remain beautiful.  Someone may pull our petals off, but we must remain rooted in what we know and what we can do.  We can bloom again and if necessary, we can be the seed that blows in the wind, and be rooted elsewhere.  The sun, the rain, will come again.  A positive attitude and hope are fortifying.

When I went thru some health dilemmas this last year, the effect had a stifling effect on me.  I felt incapable and unable.  I quit writing, painting, making bread, and sewing became a rarity.  Cleaning the bathroom mirror I wondered if it was done right.  No one was doing this to me, and I cannot blame anyone.  The doctor whom helps me with my life management skills regarding my attention deficit, he helped me to realize that something was rooted in my youth.  He said, “OK, you do not want to blame anyone, you do not want to blame it on something in your youth, mistreatment you endured.  Yet, you do acknowledge you were not in ideal circumstances to grow a healthy esteem, you did not feel safe, and your accomplishments were met with disfavor by those whom should have been proud of you.  If you can accept this, you can move on.  You can find a new way to respond to your accomplishments.”  Of course, I did not have a tape recorder and it may not be a perfect word for word account.  That was the basic jist of it.

To get thru all of this, I kept the habit of making my Master List for the month and the week.  I referred to them often.  A book from the Library on Productivity that I referred to in one of my previous published articles suggested that when I make my TO DO List that I leave room between each to put a couple of actions that are logically needed to accomplish the task.  This really helped me to get more done.  Feel Good Feeling!  My friend Mattie has an infectious cheer about her and giggle.  She is all about giving yourself a cheer when you complete something.  I am trying it, and it feels good.  My husband John likes to stand back and look at what he has done, you can see his pride well up even with the smallest of accomplishments.  I use to look at him in wonder when I would walk up and find him doing so, in fact, because I did not understand it, I thought it was downright silly and it made me a bit uncomfortable.  Over the years, I have slowly come to understand this gift.

Did you know that at the end of each day of creation, our Great Creator would say “It is Good!”.  We are made in his image.  So if we know we worked hard, and we did our best, I believe it is healthy to feel “it is good”!   My relationship with myself is greatly improved, and I am sewing again.  If we can possibly have a healthy esteem, we can then be healthy to be in a relationship with.  Our relationship with our mate, family, children, and work mates can be healthier if we are more positive to be around.  By having a healthier diet and exercise program, a healthy attitude, we can have healthier expectations of others too.  Nurture those relationships respectfully.  Each person is subject to the law, and each person is protected by the law.  If that is remembered, then abuse would be uncommon.

Last night I saw true love.  A couple with their toddler entered the diner  where we were enjoying a meal.  The man was lovingly affectionate and obviously proud of his lady and the child.  He was quite handsome.  She was quite obese and unkempt.  It likely had been a hard day for her.  Yet, this man loved this woman, and she knew it.  I was greatly touched.

3.  Domestic, no I am not talking about domestic beer.  It is where we live, what we drive, and where we spend our time, and how we manage it all.  Half the year is gone, there is some warm weather maintenance we can do on our home, car, and property.  Have you made your punch list?  I want to get into the car and do some deep cleaning, and it is not just because I turned a to-go container of spaghetti upside down in the back seat of the car yesterday.  I was already planning on a thorough detail clean of the interior of the car, now it just seems more immediate to do.  Thankfully, my caring husband got the spaghetti spill cleaned up, but I do feel I need to do that thorough cleaning in the next day or so.  Light colored car, little spots could be anywhere.  This time of year is a great time to clean the garage, and have a garage sale or donate your goods.  Fix your bicycles and use them.  Plan a trip to the zoo, or keep cool in a museum, visit family, or go away for a long weekend.

John got some weatherstripping done on all the doors last week.  Our lovely old yellow cat, PUFF, has already scratched up the new weatherstrip on the front door.  I am going to do a smelly hairspray on the lower door frames after I rub a little essential oils on the weatherstrip.  We still need to get some exterior painting done.  There is a list.  I am eager to get the windows clean.  As I am zeroing in on a room at a time with the deep cleaning,  the last thing I do in the room, the final touch is cleaning all the glass, which includes the windows.  Doesn’t it make everything look good.?

Attention to these three areas can give pretty quick improvement in many areas of our life. We can already feel better about this year and all we hoped to achieve.  We live in a very demanding and often insecure world.  Gently, yet, effectivly gaining more control over our health, relationships, and domestic situation can give us a sense of accomplishment resulting in a healthier esteem.  June may be gone by,…we still have a half year to fulfill our goals.

 

 

 

 

 

New Schedule, The Adreniline is … I cannot stand it. The Thrill of …

So excited your heart is racing, you cannot focus, the anticipation of it all is driving you up the …   When you have hopes, dreams, ideas, plans, projects, need I say more.  You cannot focus on what your loved ones are talking about, your thinking about it while doing other things, even television cannot take it off your mind.

This is how the Architectural mind works.  The mind of a designer, or a creative person is picturing all the details in their mind.  Do not interrupt my thoughts.  The mind of an engineer or mechanic plotting, analyzing, figuring, assessing, estimating, resolving, all takes mental energy, drive, and enthusiasm.

Applying these traits in our personal life to resolve our stagnation or problems can give us hope while turning our situation upside down like newly tilled soil.  Just as soil needs a good turnover, so doesn’t our life.  While minding our morality and principles we can consider great changes.

How can we assess our life?  Are we lonely?  Are we frustrated?  Are we bored?  Are we fat? Are we tired?  Is the routine predictable?  Is there stagnation with the old hum drum routine?

Some things take time to change, whether it is our financial situation, relationships, esteem, domestic situation, and the list goes on.

Example:  A person that is fat, out of shape, lonely, not treated as respectfully as one would like, that feels opportunities are not offered to them as they are others. This guy can feel quite trapped.  The routine of eating, computer games, and hours of television leaves them frustrated and unfulfilled.  One day this person sees the blog fatfitanfab.com and is inspired to make a couple adjustments.  Replacing unhealthy drinks with more water his skin is clearing up and he is not feeling so sluggish, seems less bloated.  Because he is shutting off the television after the evening news he is getting a few things done in the evening and he is getting to bed earlier.  He has started a thirty minute walk in the early a.m. daily before work.  With the habit of a healthy breakfast each day he has more energy and less cravings.  Just being alert and energetic in the morning it seems he is getting so much more done at work.   He cannot believe how he now has to wear a belt because he really needs to buy a size smaller in pants.  Others notice the change in him and seem to enjoy conversation with him because he seems more happy.  The boss is responding as if he has greater confidence in him now.

You see what I am getting at, just a few little changes in habits and routines can enrich our lives.  It is very thrilling to contemplate.

My goal is to go to bed earlier, to get up earlier, and to spend the time in the morning doing what I usually view as a treat to do, do that until noon before I need to get my daily responsibilities done.  I realize I have been doing it wrong, like dangling a treat, that I never will get, only to be disappointed day after day.  As if that would be my reward just if I …you know how it goes, we do it to ourselves, to our kids, to our loved ones.  The promised incentive that never comes.

Doing an abrupt face is exciting, addressing the problem completely differently.  Thinking of our children, when we practice the method of  going to the park after you finish your homework it causes frustration, anger, and sadness.  The homework session drags out hopelessly until it is too late to go to the park.  Real punishment.  Instead, ask the child how long it will take to do the homework, then go to the park with that in mind.  Have a great time.  As soon as you get home and the child washes their face and hands, drinks some water, then right away get to the homework.  Set the timer with that much time and add a buffer of fifteen minutes for the encouragement.  A few days of the park first may prove to be stimulating for the child.  Whom wants to go to school all day and sit in front of the homework for an hour or two.  Instead of resentment, it will be refreshment, accomplishment and joy.

What my sons have done to enrich their life is they have a bowling league now on Wednesdays, and they have a great time.  One evening a week going to a bible meeting is rewarding.  An evening at the Library or local book store.  Whom is lonely now.  We can be alone enjoying any of these activities and not feel lonely.  We have an activity to look forward to.  My husband took me to the bookstore tonight.  After days of being sick and unable to go anywhere I was thrilled when he suggested going to my favorite store.  I love the “how to” section, how to cook, sew, or knit, etc.  I know how to do all these things but I just love projects and I feel like an crazy nut about all I want to do.  In reality it is not possible to do all I want to do, but I will think about that tomorrow…

Your whole family will benefit from a few adjustments in your life.  The whole family and loved ones may not at first cooperate with the hoped for changes.  It may be us alone making the adjustments while not forcing change on others.  Include your family in these changes invitingly an see joy restored.   Just as an Architect, Engineer or Mechanic address a problem.  We can assess our life an redesign it with optimism.  Is your Adrenaline pumping and is your heart racing?

November, only Four weeks long, what will we do with our time ….

November, so much to consider.  Seasons changing, time changing, attire changing, does anything stay the same?

Some things are good to keep the same, it is nice to be able to depend on a few things.  Five Sundays and five Mondays, do not be blue about Mondays.  We have five Sundays to catch up on rest, or chores, or projects.  Mondays are known as the start of things, what can we start?

Before it gets too late into the month we can call family members an see how they are doing.  Make time to visit long distant family members or send a card.  Has there been an estrangement?  Forget the issue, there are many reasons why, and they are not important as the years fly by.  Things can be misrepresented, misunderstood, misadvised, and just totally misdone.  Likely all feel sorry.  Yet, all miss out when there is an estrangement.  Reach out, remember the good, heal the breach, reconcile.  My ex father in law called Sunday and it has been years, I did not even recognize his voice until he laughed.  Nice visit on the phone.

Movies at this time of year are all so inspiring regarding spread the love, be kind to strangers, etc.  Love your neighbors, love your family and love strangers, put it into action.  Yet, be safe, do not be unwise.  People experience all sorts of fraud at this time of year because they want to be “good deed doers..”  as said on Wizard of Oz.  We can be responsible humans, considerate to fellowman, and if we consider ourselves Christian than Be that Christian the scriptures describe regarding the New Personality.  My father said, “Be what you say.”  His 7th grade education was weightier than an expert in a said field.  If you feel you are honest, then be honest, if you feel you are moral, than be moral.  If you feel you are loving, be loving.

Think of a goal, such as consider your prime responsibilities in life, are you a Husband, Wife, Father or Mother?  Consider how you can be better at that.  It is easy to assume we have it down pat and there is no need for improvement, but there is always room for improvement.  All can be more loving, more helpful, express love more often and show appreciation.  Help out with the expenses by not being so expensive to maintain.  Contribute more to the household by doing chores to help your mate with what they would normally do.  If there is more than one, than one alone should not be fixing the meals and doing the cleanup.  Help, do something, help with the dishes, or sweep or clean the bathroom.  Surprise your loved one with an unexpected card or a small gift, or meet them for lunch.  I met my son for lunch and we only arranged it an hour before.  It was so nice spending time with him at a restaurant close by his work.  He will be 23 this month and I cannot believe my middle son has grown to be such a wonderful adult.

My goal for November is to improve my part of all relationships I value.  Allot can happen in November, you can warm up your life.  “Be what you say!”

What about August?

July quickly swam by, in the extreme heat of this month all planned for was likely a challenge to fulfill.  Now we have August quickly approaching us.  August represents a putting away and a start for me.

As we are still enjoying our summer attire, the stores are presenting us with Fall Fashions.  We look with great anticipation at those cool colors, and some are already opening their wallets for these purchases.  Hold On!  Pause….

It is almost August, and there is five months to enjoy before the new year.  August has 31 days, five Saturdays, and five Sundays.  What can this mean for you?

Not only is fall fashion a concern, most children start back to school, and it is a great month to get some extra fun in,  some extra life maintenance work done too.

To help the children focus on the new school year, we might consider our children’s changing needs.  Maybe their tastes have changed, maybe the décor of two years ago feels a little silly for them now.  Of course I am not a big advocate of spending money unnecessarily.   It is not necessary to buy new furniture unless you feel that there is.  A deep clean and a coat of paint may be enough, yet, teddy bear comforters may be old hat for the fourth grader.   There are a few things that can and possibly should be done on one of these August weekends.

Talk to the child about their room, how do they feel about their room.  Although children can be big dreamers about things they would like, if we can accommodate without great expense of time and money why not. Yet,  laying the criteria out there is essential, you do not want open ended negotiations with children.  By giving children authority, it sets unrealistic expectations for them of what and how the real world will respond to their wants and desires.  We want them to be happy and it is important to let them be part of the decision making process.  Also, it takes a work plan, it means this is not being done for them, it is being done with them.

With an limitless criteria, a child could end up with a black bedroom, flashing lights, and glowing electronic gadgets providing most of the light.  A black bedroom can put your child in a state of gloom and doom.  If the child is already in the state of gloom and doom feeding into this is not responsible parenting.  When my son had his windows covered with heavy black drapes, and his room black and dark, it was truly considered his cave.  It did not take long to see he was now in a deep depression.  Not easy to pull a teenager out of that.  It is important to remember whom owns the house and pays the bills and is the responsible party before law.  A parent still makes the rules or sets the guidelines for an offered activity.

I would say to one of my boys, which color do you like and if it were a light color, what would you choose?  Our preferences do not matter.  It is good to check out the psychology of color, like pale blue can put some in a blue sad mood.  There is what I call “institution blue” or green which in the 70’s and 80’s  was a common color used in some hospitals, prisons, schools, institutions, for the purpose of keeping people calm.  Of course if you have a manic child you may choose for them to put the color in their room, but by having silver accents and silver picture frames it can keep it optimistic.  A red throw pillow can keep it inspiring.  If painting a room is something you are considering, take said child to hardware store and have them pick out a strip that shows the color they like with a couple compatible colors on the strip so if you decide to buy a comforter and new curtains, using the strip as your guide may prove effective.

If your life is already overwhelmed and complicated, then I would not broach the subject with the children, I would just say, Saturday we are moving all the furniture to the middle of the room, and while your sheets and curtains are in the wash, we are going to wash your windows, woodwork, walls, and furniture.  Then, if possible we will rearrange your room, take out some pieces that are no longer age appropriate, and reassess what your needs are so we can keep our eyes open for some special deals out there.  This teaches children to take part in clean up efforts that the world is not going to do this for them.  A three year old can wash base boards. Cleaning together is a great opportunity to ask them how they feel about their new school year.  What are they looking forward to?  What are they worried about?  What are they excited about learning?  Is it Math and Science?  How about a trip to the Zoo?  Is it a teenager going to take a home ec and sewing class?  Do you have a machine you can pull out of the basement and let them practice on it?  Cleaning together is a great opportunity to find out what weighs their hearts down and what is going on in their young worlds.  Their lives are more serious than ours were.

August is a great time to find summer comforters on sale, a famous weekend with great sales is coming up.  There is no better décor than a clean one.  If the budget is already stressed because of school expenses, than the clean up and organization is a great start.  Never forget, a yard sale is a great way to clear out some household congestion, and attain a few dollars to help with some of these needs.  You can always mention to family members and friends what some needs are.  You would be surprised how family likes to pitch in and help for a true need.  They may have something you could use.  Once, friends of mine Rochelle and her Aunt, neither having children of their own, were very loving to my children.  They came over and took a look at the boys bedrooms.  I will never forget how they surprised my three young sons and I.  They purchased all this great top of the line character bedding, sheets, comforters, curtains, and new pillows.  Wow, this was such a boost to my boys and it was a boost for me too a single mom seeing my children be loved like that.  My friends were very thoughtful and generous.  When I looked at all we were throwing away I was so shocked at how drab and worn out it all was.  Life was so stressed and complicated, how did one of their needs go by me unnoticed.  I was so happy that they exercised such love and care.  The boys started the new school year beaming.

We still have five months to get in shape before the new year.  Why not start walking today?  Or doing bicep curls with four pound weights every other day with a few squats.  Any physical activity done regularly is beneficial.  I meet people all the time that are in shape, they do not dream about getting in shape.  They work out now, and it is part of their life.  I appreciate the good examples, keep it up!

Right now, I am not even going to expound on the Runners World magazine cover.  You look at it and you will see why I am very pleased.  I feel like going out and getting a copy.  I will be expounding on it this week.

Why shouldn’t you just run out and buy new fall clothes?  First, start going through the clothes you have.  Do they still fit you?  Are they the same fit as last year, tighter, looser, why would that matter?  If the clothes are tighter, start walking now so you can fit in them in eight weeks or so.  Then you can celebrate with a small addition to your wardrobe.  If your clothes are looser and you needed to lose those inches or pounds, then Good Job!  And only you know your budget.  As we do laundry we need to look at items as we fold them, how do they fit, what condition are they in, will they truly be suitable for next year?  Why mindlessly stick back in the drawers.  Repair, replace or just toss.  By setting a dept store bag in the laundry room it is easy to put a couple items in for local donations.

We also want to keep in mind our budget, there are always more expenses as the winter rolls in. Higher power bills and heating costs will be here quick.  We want to keep the room in our budget because as there is planned activities in the winter season, there is always the unexpected expenses.   Our heating system, if we did not get it serviced then if it should have a problem, do we have the money to get it fixed.  Our car, getting it serviced.  We may want to invest in those new tires we have been needing, Winter is hard on our cars.  Our home may need some winterizing.  Weather strips are not the only things to check, we may need new filters for our hv/ac system, we may need to caulk windows, etc.  Do a general checklist of household maintenance you want to achieve before the end of September.  Start looking for the wood for your fireplace, you may need it.

The budget is something to seriously consider, how did the last year affect you the beginning of this year?  Are there debts you are only now paying down?  Talk to family about the expectations, maybe the needs and wants are a little extreme when compared to the household financial demands.  Can some of these things be saved up for?  It is great to finish the year in better condition than when it started.

If we give in to every media manufactured need and want, then our children or mates can develop a materially generated greed that is unrealistic.  This can put stress on their relationships as they grow into adults.  Whom has the right to expect such things from another?  Love and happiness are free.  Time spent together is the most valuable of gifts.

August, August, how busy you are.  Thank you for the extra weekend that I can spend doing something productive with my loved ones.  August is not the end, it is still a byway which I can use to get a few things refreshed to make the next few months easier.  August, known for it’s heat and some consider it the end to a favored season.  I appreciate August as an opportunity to still enjoy summers heat, and enjoy times at local zoos and museums.

Parenting is more than a juggling act. .. and why?

Imagine yourself not just juggling four oranges, but plates are being tossed in for you to juggle too, and you gottta be so careful, you do not want it all to go to pieces with one plate dropped.

Don’t we put ourselves under that kind of pressure.  We want to be a great parent.  We expect so much of ourselves and our children that we miss out on living our life too.  The responsibilities and obligations that comes with parenting are enough.  Society puts pressure on the kids and the parents that kids need to be involved in all these clubs, sports, music, and maintaining a high gpa.  What will these kids be like when they are grown, will they know how to enjoy a quiet evening at home?  Will they know how to relax?  I am not talking about playing videogames or watching endless hours on the television in their room.

Can they do a good job without it having to be the number one spot?  Parents do not have time or energy to be married couples, and children do not have the time to relax and enjoy being a youth.  Fishing, skateboarding, building things, or making model cars, or rebuilding their bicycle or working on their car.

When raising our three sons, I had them taking piano in the winter and golf in the spring and summer with swimming.  Just one activity all were participating in.  I just did not feel capable of running them around all the time while carrying out my other obligations of work, domestics and ill health.  Saturday mornings every couple weeks we would do the Home Depot children’s shop where they made a different project each time.  As grown men, they know how to do many things and earn money doing these things.  My middle son lives in a tree house he designed and built, and he installed an elevator, and recently he used decks he was paid to remove from someone’s home, he used these decks very creativily to get up to his elevator and tree house.  It is so cool and we are proud of him for that.  They all know how to make or build anything they want or need.  (The Home depot has other classes to learn how to make and build things, even a woman’s class, check it out online and see, it is a fun activity)

In this age of joblessness, and the challenge of getting a respectable wage, and school loans that need to be repaid.  We really need to rethink the types of extracurricular activities we are keeping our children busy with.  Instead of worrying about whether they will be good enough to be picked for this or that.  Let us teach them to be good enough in daily living.  If we teach them to clean up after themselves, teach them to wash, dry and put away their clothes, teach them how to clean a bathroom, and how to wash floors, and how to manage money it could help them the rest of their life.  If they are slobs with these expectations that the parents and hired help are going to do everything, what kind of roommates will they be in a dorm, or if they want to share an apartment.  They will get kicked out and lose their deposit money.  What kind of marriage mates will they be if they cannot do these things.  Modern day woman do not want to carry the domestic load alone.  The day of a man coming home from work, grabbing a beer and sitting in front of a television for the next six or more hours are gone by.  Marriages like this are not surviving anymore.  It takes both mates to keep a house up.  My husband and sons all do their own laundry, and each has two nights a week of dishes and kitchen duties.  Tonight, one of them finished painting a bathroom for me, it took about twenty minutes for him to do it.

Success is not just career and home, it is family, and living our lives with those we love.  Whom says we have to overload our schedules with all these obligations.  Whom says we have to put all that stress on our children for them to be happy.  Do our children really have to play on some famous team for us to tell them well done.  Can’t we simplify our expectations and ease up the stress on ourselves and our children.  No one will be the lazier for it, but they might be the happier, more peace in the house since everyone isn’t running somewhere all the time.

There has to be a new balance considered.  It will benefit the marriages, and it will ease up some of this constant pressure on our youth.  Happy families are successful families.