Month: July 2015

What about August?

July quickly swam by, in the extreme heat of this month all planned for was likely a challenge to fulfill.  Now we have August quickly approaching us.  August represents a putting away and a start for me.

As we are still enjoying our summer attire, the stores are presenting us with Fall Fashions.  We look with great anticipation at those cool colors, and some are already opening their wallets for these purchases.  Hold On!  Pause….

It is almost August, and there is five months to enjoy before the new year.  August has 31 days, five Saturdays, and five Sundays.  What can this mean for you?

Not only is fall fashion a concern, most children start back to school, and it is a great month to get some extra fun in,  some extra life maintenance work done too.

To help the children focus on the new school year, we might consider our children’s changing needs.  Maybe their tastes have changed, maybe the décor of two years ago feels a little silly for them now.  Of course I am not a big advocate of spending money unnecessarily.   It is not necessary to buy new furniture unless you feel that there is.  A deep clean and a coat of paint may be enough, yet, teddy bear comforters may be old hat for the fourth grader.   There are a few things that can and possibly should be done on one of these August weekends.

Talk to the child about their room, how do they feel about their room.  Although children can be big dreamers about things they would like, if we can accommodate without great expense of time and money why not. Yet,  laying the criteria out there is essential, you do not want open ended negotiations with children.  By giving children authority, it sets unrealistic expectations for them of what and how the real world will respond to their wants and desires.  We want them to be happy and it is important to let them be part of the decision making process.  Also, it takes a work plan, it means this is not being done for them, it is being done with them.

With an limitless criteria, a child could end up with a black bedroom, flashing lights, and glowing electronic gadgets providing most of the light.  A black bedroom can put your child in a state of gloom and doom.  If the child is already in the state of gloom and doom feeding into this is not responsible parenting.  When my son had his windows covered with heavy black drapes, and his room black and dark, it was truly considered his cave.  It did not take long to see he was now in a deep depression.  Not easy to pull a teenager out of that.  It is important to remember whom owns the house and pays the bills and is the responsible party before law.  A parent still makes the rules or sets the guidelines for an offered activity.

I would say to one of my boys, which color do you like and if it were a light color, what would you choose?  Our preferences do not matter.  It is good to check out the psychology of color, like pale blue can put some in a blue sad mood.  There is what I call “institution blue” or green which in the 70’s and 80’s  was a common color used in some hospitals, prisons, schools, institutions, for the purpose of keeping people calm.  Of course if you have a manic child you may choose for them to put the color in their room, but by having silver accents and silver picture frames it can keep it optimistic.  A red throw pillow can keep it inspiring.  If painting a room is something you are considering, take said child to hardware store and have them pick out a strip that shows the color they like with a couple compatible colors on the strip so if you decide to buy a comforter and new curtains, using the strip as your guide may prove effective.

If your life is already overwhelmed and complicated, then I would not broach the subject with the children, I would just say, Saturday we are moving all the furniture to the middle of the room, and while your sheets and curtains are in the wash, we are going to wash your windows, woodwork, walls, and furniture.  Then, if possible we will rearrange your room, take out some pieces that are no longer age appropriate, and reassess what your needs are so we can keep our eyes open for some special deals out there.  This teaches children to take part in clean up efforts that the world is not going to do this for them.  A three year old can wash base boards. Cleaning together is a great opportunity to ask them how they feel about their new school year.  What are they looking forward to?  What are they worried about?  What are they excited about learning?  Is it Math and Science?  How about a trip to the Zoo?  Is it a teenager going to take a home ec and sewing class?  Do you have a machine you can pull out of the basement and let them practice on it?  Cleaning together is a great opportunity to find out what weighs their hearts down and what is going on in their young worlds.  Their lives are more serious than ours were.

August is a great time to find summer comforters on sale, a famous weekend with great sales is coming up.  There is no better décor than a clean one.  If the budget is already stressed because of school expenses, than the clean up and organization is a great start.  Never forget, a yard sale is a great way to clear out some household congestion, and attain a few dollars to help with some of these needs.  You can always mention to family members and friends what some needs are.  You would be surprised how family likes to pitch in and help for a true need.  They may have something you could use.  Once, friends of mine Rochelle and her Aunt, neither having children of their own, were very loving to my children.  They came over and took a look at the boys bedrooms.  I will never forget how they surprised my three young sons and I.  They purchased all this great top of the line character bedding, sheets, comforters, curtains, and new pillows.  Wow, this was such a boost to my boys and it was a boost for me too a single mom seeing my children be loved like that.  My friends were very thoughtful and generous.  When I looked at all we were throwing away I was so shocked at how drab and worn out it all was.  Life was so stressed and complicated, how did one of their needs go by me unnoticed.  I was so happy that they exercised such love and care.  The boys started the new school year beaming.

We still have five months to get in shape before the new year.  Why not start walking today?  Or doing bicep curls with four pound weights every other day with a few squats.  Any physical activity done regularly is beneficial.  I meet people all the time that are in shape, they do not dream about getting in shape.  They work out now, and it is part of their life.  I appreciate the good examples, keep it up!

Right now, I am not even going to expound on the Runners World magazine cover.  You look at it and you will see why I am very pleased.  I feel like going out and getting a copy.  I will be expounding on it this week.

Why shouldn’t you just run out and buy new fall clothes?  First, start going through the clothes you have.  Do they still fit you?  Are they the same fit as last year, tighter, looser, why would that matter?  If the clothes are tighter, start walking now so you can fit in them in eight weeks or so.  Then you can celebrate with a small addition to your wardrobe.  If your clothes are looser and you needed to lose those inches or pounds, then Good Job!  And only you know your budget.  As we do laundry we need to look at items as we fold them, how do they fit, what condition are they in, will they truly be suitable for next year?  Why mindlessly stick back in the drawers.  Repair, replace or just toss.  By setting a dept store bag in the laundry room it is easy to put a couple items in for local donations.

We also want to keep in mind our budget, there are always more expenses as the winter rolls in. Higher power bills and heating costs will be here quick.  We want to keep the room in our budget because as there is planned activities in the winter season, there is always the unexpected expenses.   Our heating system, if we did not get it serviced then if it should have a problem, do we have the money to get it fixed.  Our car, getting it serviced.  We may want to invest in those new tires we have been needing, Winter is hard on our cars.  Our home may need some winterizing.  Weather strips are not the only things to check, we may need new filters for our hv/ac system, we may need to caulk windows, etc.  Do a general checklist of household maintenance you want to achieve before the end of September.  Start looking for the wood for your fireplace, you may need it.

The budget is something to seriously consider, how did the last year affect you the beginning of this year?  Are there debts you are only now paying down?  Talk to family about the expectations, maybe the needs and wants are a little extreme when compared to the household financial demands.  Can some of these things be saved up for?  It is great to finish the year in better condition than when it started.

If we give in to every media manufactured need and want, then our children or mates can develop a materially generated greed that is unrealistic.  This can put stress on their relationships as they grow into adults.  Whom has the right to expect such things from another?  Love and happiness are free.  Time spent together is the most valuable of gifts.

August, August, how busy you are.  Thank you for the extra weekend that I can spend doing something productive with my loved ones.  August is not the end, it is still a byway which I can use to get a few things refreshed to make the next few months easier.  August, known for it’s heat and some consider it the end to a favored season.  I appreciate August as an opportunity to still enjoy summers heat, and enjoy times at local zoos and museums.

Postponed feelings, why, put off the tears?

As I strive to recover from yet another surgery and other effects of my condition, I am also dealing with the fact that my beloved father is in hospice care many states away and I cannot be there.

I feel all kinds of frustration, sadness, and I want to cry, scream, stomp my feet and cry some more.  Instead, I am stuck in a recliner or on the couch.  Being prevented from doing activities, and the boredom of that, and the knowledge that I cannot go and be there with my father and family in these last most precious days.

I try to keep in contact with family and talk to my father as often as I can.  I sent flowers and a big box of candy for the family to enjoy while they are there visiting.  Yet, it is sad I feel I am not there when I am most needed.

While sitting here I decide to practice the yarn over knitted stitch my dyslexic mind cannot wrap around.  Still practicing that, I think I got it, but they do not look alike.  The knitted fabric looks like there is something wrong with it, all these wholes of various sizes and shapes.  I must put it down for a bit.

Then my friends come by, bringing dinner and another night other friends brings a pot with two baked chickens and some tasty rice.  Today, another friend pops in and brings some blueberry/raspberry muffins,  picked her own berries.  Then yesterday another friend brought a big box of seedless black California grapes, yum.  It is hard to focus on my woes with all this good love and support.  Olivia, she painted the walls in my kitchen for me and did some vacuuming and dusting.  Devoted friends are hard to find, and harder to keep, thus I have learned from the bible how to be a friend too.  It is so wonderful how good my friends are, they cheer me up so.

On that note, if you learn of anyone in your life going thru a tough time, what can you do about it?  Can you send them a card via snail mail?  Is a text really good enough for those you care for.  Can you invite them and their family to dinner at your home and practice your amazing cooking skills on them?  Or go to an antique or resale shop and buy a lovely teacup and saucer and a doily, gift wrap them and take them or send them.  Really, a kind word is a lot.

When my spleen was being removed a few years ago, my Dear friends in Maine got together and sent me some wonderful things they gathered and put in a box.  My friend was right on cue, when I only merely mentioned Oh, by the way I am getting my spleen removed.  I am really getting behind on the house and my garden has gone to ruin,… etc. she jumped into action.  They sent me jams they made from berries they picked, and maple syrup from trees they tapped, and other friends put in things and it was just the most delightful event unexpectedly receiving this in the mail.

We love to invite people over to dinner and that really works out well.  We can really sit and visit and they always enjoy looking over my interesting homestead.  We enjoy learning about others.  Once, when there was a hurricane, there were a bunch of Chinese students here on a work program and they were scared.  We invited them here for the storm and we worked on sewing projects.  Teaching one to sew, another to mend, and just had a great time.  We roughed out the storm and made some great memories.

At this point, instead of allowing myself to focus on my present situation which is out of my control, I am going to focus on all my fabulous blessings.  Being Fat, Fit an Fab greatly depends on our maintaining the most healthful attitude while we endure unpleasant situations out of our control.  Making the best of our time, I think I need to start writing some thank you notes.

I apologize …

I apologize for all the updates to this last article of the Happiness Habits.  As I am having my surgery tomorrow, I am a bit nervous, and it seemed I was having some problems with my draft of the article I was revising and I had accidently posted it before I was done.     It is done and I hope you like it.  Happiness is a challenge for all, no matter our race, age, sex, or financial status no one is immune to the problems.  Time and unforeseen occurrence befall all.  That is why practicing some positive habits can enrich our life, and help us to have some strength to continue on.

Happiness, is a practice. We will call it the Happy Habit.

Happiness is something you can have despite all you have been through.  There are many examples of happiness in human history.  People whom survived war, concentration camps, abuse, personal hardship, that have still achieved happiness in their life.

Life’s problems can steal so much from us.  Some problems are temporary even though they feel long lasting.  There are long lasting problems that can drain us.  A few happiness habits can fortify us and give us inner strength and peace of mind.  Striving to do just a few of these can improve your outlook.

We must first identify what has us unhappy or miserable.  Are there circumstances that seem out of our control?  Did we bring any of these troubles on ourselves?  Are we a victum?  Is it just because we live in a world that is suffering too? The July magazines on http://www.jw.org  helps with anxieties and getting control of our lives where possible.

What I would like to address is injustices happen all too frequently.  My mother in law, Marcia, whom just turned 98, her parents were immagrants, and her father was killed by a hit and run driver when she was 16.  She was raised during the great depression, and then later being newly married her husband went off to WW11.  Typically during those times she found she was pregnant and he was overseas.  She had to be brave and strong on the home front, working and bearing her three sons.  Later she suffered the loss of her middle son in a vehicle accident.  And her youngest son was seriously maimed in the vietnam war.  Yet, she has practiced some happiness habits all these years.  I have learned so much from her.

Happiness Habits:

Upon waking in the morning I pray to Jehovah to give me wisdom and discernment.  We are confronted with so many situations and choices each day.  If we respond to situations with wisdom than we may have less frustrations and consequences to deal with.  If we are discerning, it means we might not react too quickly before truly considering a situation and the possible outcomes.  Of course I am not talking about being indecisive.  Just, diminishing impulsiveness.  Life is hard enough without adding to our troubles.  This approach helps with anger management too.  Jehovah promises anyone whom asks for wisdom and discernment he will freely give it to them.  How generous, the happy god wants us to be happy too.

Take a moment, let’s say you have a break at work, instead of burying your nose in your phone or ipad, sit outside and observe nature, or take a brief walk during your lunch or break.  My mother in law, Marcia, whom is 98 today has one habit that she has always done, she takes a walk each day, she sits outside and observes nature.  She has a clear, active mind, and she still takes her daily walk with her dog Mikey.  She has a routine, and she looks at her watch and she knows what she should be doing when.  Marcia still does her own laundry, and paperwork, she reads the newspaper and is interested in people, places, and events.  When I call and say let’s go and do this tomorrow, she says, no, I have laundry to do tomorrow.  The next day I can do it.  I am always impressed with her simple reasoning on things I tend to overcomplicate.  Being impulsive, I am learning to slow down and work things around my own schedule and routine.

When you are handicapped, it is vital to still strive to practice a routine.  It gives your life sanity and peace.  When you cannot do all you have planned, it makes a difference.  You did what you could and accomplishment is satisfying.

Having a routine is vital for happiness.  Include good things in your routine, if I decide to fuel my car on Friday, take it to the car wash, and vaccume it out, then it is ready for the next weeks activity.  My husband actually does this for me, and I have come to appreciate it.  I like to go to the Barnes and Noble and browse books and magazines.  It is a real treat.  Plan something nice to do after you clean out the car.  Go have a coffee and snack, enjoy it at the establishment.  Keep the car clean.  Your work mates see in your car, your family sees in your car, and you see in your car.  I met a man once whom kept his car so immaculant that it looked like it was still on the sales lot.  I told him,” I am so impressed with how beautifully clean your car looks”.  I had just pulled up next to this car at the gas station and had to comment.  People notice for the good or not so good.

Your esteem is fragile, so invest in your esteem with healthy habits.  Have a date with yourself to read the book Of Psalms or Proverbs.  Read a few minutes a day if you like.  Just keep your goals reasonable.  Do not say “I will read an hour a day.”  Each day is different.  Just prayerfully consider and read a chapter, and if you like, do another.  It doesn’t matter how much you read, but how much you meditate on what you read, reflecting on how beneficial the application of the material can be.

I love these adult coloring books.  It makes a great present for anyone you want to encourage.  You can use colored pencils or fine point markers.  The designs are really interesting.  If you just want to wind down, you can color for a few minutes.  I do not put it on myself to finish in a sitting.  I may say, “I will color a couple of the flowers today.” and you get to choose the colors.  Your choice, your in control.  You do not have to be perfect, it is not up for inspection by others.  It is for your own pleasure.  I purchased one for my friend Sandy whom has MS when I was at Barnes and Noble the other day, and I purchased one for myself.  I have not done much yet, but I have done some.  It is wonderful.

My friend Olivia, told me you can download pages and print them out to color.

Express love, appreciation, and approval often for those you share a home with, and those you work with. Exercise consideration, complain less, and Thank more.  Help loved ones with the chores in the house.

Let your employer know what you appreciate about them and all they do to manage your department.  It is a hard task to be an employer.  Ask if there is anything you can do to lighten their load.  Is there something they can delegate to you.  Be a help. Everyone wants a raise, do our employers know we appreciate them?  An acquaintance whom got a bonus told me that a couple days later the boss sent everyone a text message because no one thanked him and he expressed hurt and annoyance.  The boss is a person too.

Call and check in on your family members.  Make time to meet a family member for a coffee.  Have a rule that no phones are to be messed with, just talk and listen.  Ask what they have been doing lately, what are they currently interested in, and what future goals are they working toward.  How many do not even know how their mates or teenagers would answer this.

Marcia loved learning, she took decorating classes, and attended community events.  She did not mind doing things on her own, she just went and enjoyed herself.  Marcia has traveled the world.  She enjoyed great music.  I enjoy listening to her and all the adventures she was involved in.

Do not have large expectations of others.  Expectations of others can lead to great disappointment.  One person I know is really generous, but their expectations of others response to their generosity cause them to feel hurt and disappointment.  Give freely, and the best time to give is when it is not expected.  People do not express themselves the way we would want them to, but it does not mean they don’t feel appreciation.  The action of giving is a joy.

We went to Maine to see my family and friends last May, a about 25 years ago I lived there and attended a congregation there.  So when visiting, a friend I did not recognize came up to me and told me I had taught her how to sew.  She was wearing a skirt she had sewn recently and was very proud of it.  That made me feel so good she was making use of a skill I have taught her and so many over the decades.   Someone took a lot of time to teach me fine sewing skills.   Jesus said, you receive free, you give free.  Share your craft with others, all will be blessed.  I wish Betty whom taught me was still alive so I could tell her how much it meant to me her teaching me how to sew so well.  I am sure I did not tell her thank you then like I would now.  I know I said thank you, but now I have so much more I would tell her.  Her son contacted me a few years ago and said I was her all time favorite student and he sent this expensive nice machine of hers with all the specialty feet and attachments.  That was so kind, and it made me feel really good.

During the civil war, and WW1 and WW11, women did their needlepoint.  Their mens lives were at stake, and their life as they knew it was on the line.  Practicing daily habits helped them preserve a sense of control, even the habit of sitting down at a particular time for their tea.  There was a time to practice their music, and there was a time to call on each other, and there was a time to sit and do some needlepoint.  When they did their embroidery or knitting or sewing they had something beautiful to focus on, and there was a sense of accomplishment, and they could look forward to the finished product.  Visiting a yarn shop you can discover some classes or group projects.  Yesterday I went to the yarn shop for some special instruction in some knitting tequniques I had trouble doing.  Having dyslexia, I am slow to learn and apt to get things backwards.  It was one little thing I was getting backwards and she figured it out and took the time with me. While I am recuperating from my hernia surgery I can practice what I learned.  Give it a try, learn something new.  Earn a little esteem.

At night, pray to Jehovah and thank him for the good in your life.  If you are depressed and cannot recognize the good in your life, ask Jehovah to help you see the good in your life.  Ask him to help you be joyful.  If you have problems that you cannot cope with, tell him, and ask him to help you find a way to address your situation for a better outcome.

These are some happiness habits that Marcia and I practice.  Despite life’s challenges, joy can be achieved.

Those annoying little things, just nag at me….

Those annoying little things, just nag at me.  Don’t you have things that nag at you?  What a relief it is to get a few of them handled.

Is it a phone call you need to make, or a letter you need to write?  Is it paperwork requesting more information from you?  Or is it spending time with family members you keep putting off?  The piece of trim that needs to be put up, or a leaky faucet.  It may be that your drawers are so stuffed that it is difficult for you to put your clothes away, yet, you seem to be wearing the same old things.

It not only causes us stress when we have visual reminders everywhere of all we need to get done.  It can cost us a great deal of money in some situations if we wait to long to follow thru on things.

A few years ago, our friends James and Olivia invited us to go to a beach house a customer had given them a weeks use for.  I brought along my favorite things, painting to do, knitting etc. and my favorite magazines.  I love to do paintings on trips.  That trip, I just do not remember what painting I did do, but my mind clearly remembers how wonderfully relaxing to be in an environment that was tastefully decorated, nothing needing to be fixed, and nothing needing done.  We were totally replenished.  The effects of that trip lasted a long time for me.

Our home is a real joy to be in, very interesting, eclectic.  Yet, the trim needs to be put up, the stairs need to be stained, and woodwork needs to be finished.  There really is not one room that is totally finished that could be considered a refuge.  I have a goal to make one room like that, and eventually the whole house.  Sometimes, it is not so joyful walking thru because my conscious nags at me, I need to do this, I do not like how that was done and I need to tear it out and get it done right, and I sure wish that painting was done.  It turns out that others feel that way in their homes, I need to clean out my garage so we can use it again, I would like to get the spare room cleaned out, etc.  Sometimes, it is just a matter of taking a drawer, emptying it on the bed, and discovering some favorite items in there that you can enjoy using again and donating the less important things.

When it comes to paperwork and phone calls that get put to the back of the mind.  That creates such mental clutter, no wonder people get so stressed.  It is important to take a bit of time on a Friday morning or a Monday morning and address these things.  It frees up the mind and may save you some money in the long run.

I have been put off with our insurance this last year because they did not properly reimburse me for something.  So, I thought I had handled it alright, and felt it was a lost cause.  Now, that I had to go again to this appointment I called the insurance and said I want to be sure what I am covered for to make sure I will get reimbursed this time.  I mentioned I was a little soured about them not reimbursing me last year.  They surprised me by saying, they needed one thing and they would go ahead and still reimburse me for that.  What a surprise and blessing.

Sometimes, we get a little grouchy because we are so hard pressed.  Making time to get these little annoying things out of the way can surely lighten our load.  Then we can be free to enjoy those we love and smile with them.  When did you last stop, look at your loved one, and smile?  Smiles, are a great way to say Hello, I accept you, I need you, your important to me…Oh, we will touch on that another time.

Freeing up My Creativity

Stifled, blocked, overwhelmed, cannot focus, stagnation,  these are some terms or phrases used by writers or artists of all sorts.

Many things can interfere with our productivity in our creative ventures.  Some common things are stress in life and anxiety.  Just a lack of control could rob us of focus.  Living within our means, and not overextending ourselves socially can help us to regain some of the control.  I love the July “Awake” magazine on Control.  It gives some excellent points on regaining some control of our life.  Find it at jw.org

What I would like to address is something I have been all too slow to learn.  I have missed out on the benefits of this great quality because I was what you call a free spirit.  For decades I lived with the free as the wind mentality of creativity.  I lost a lot of years that way.  It cost me a lot in all aspects of life.  First, I never had a healthy self esteem.  In fact, caring for myself I just did the basics, in some ways I was extremely neglectful.  This was such a wreck less way of living that goes with this creative mentality.  In fact, a friend asked me on the phone a few months ago, “Are you still a train wreck?”  I did not quite know what he meant, and it did not feel so good to consider that I may have been viewed that way.  Some would say, “Oh, that is the artist in her.”  I was impetuous, creative, easily moved.

I drew up some construction documents for an artist and her husband, she had designed her own home, when I went by for a visit, I was surprised at how beautifully organized she was.  Her studio was immaculate, I asked her about it, and she said “I am a productive artist and I get big dollars for my work.  I have to be organized.”  That left a heavy impression on me.  It has still taken decades to understand and put it into practice.  Oh, the years I have lost.

A friend of mine is very productive publishing poems, books, and painting landscapes.  Every Tuesday like clockwork she is painting another picture.  Diane adopted three children with handicaps.  Her home is tidy and clean.

Here I have been a free spirit and what do I have to show for it?  A lot of creativity that was never realized.  Dreaming the years away.  Many projects never started and more projects still not finished.  For the projects I have finished I am very proud of them.  Over the years I have gotten into a pattern of actually finishing things.  Yet, I have so much more to finish.

What I have learned, that is the most valuable thing I could ever impart is the necessity of having a schedule, having a routine and good habits.  If my workroom is unorganized, how will I feel motivated to go in there and get a project made.  Some may tout about how they do not mind a messy workplace, but it does not look good to others, and it does interfere with productivity.  My workroom is untidy again and it happens so fast.  I enjoy working in there putting things away.  I feel free to do more when I can see my measuring tape where I always put it, when I can grab the scissors from the drawer, and a space is clear in which to work.

The whole house is important, keeping the refrigerator clean and well stocked, so we can keep ourselves healthy and strong.  By keeping the bathrooms clean and laundry done these are all things related to caring for ourselves respectfully.  How can I have self respect, or expect respect if I am not living respectfully?

My home is still in great disarray.  Yet, I work hard to obey my daily schedule,  yesterday was clean the bedrooms day, and all I could do was some dusting.  I have this double hernia I am getting operated on next week.  I have absolutely no stamina and I hurt.  It felt good doing the little I did do.  The day before was clean the bathrooms and utility room. I got one bathroom cleaned well and a load of towels washed.  I could not do the other bathroom.  Just making the practice of good habits and carrying on the routine gives me courage and hope that it will reflect well in the coming months ahead.

The benefits I am now seeing is that by practicing a domestic schedule I am freed up to be more creative.  And by doing the schedule I am earning a bit of esteem that I am accomplishing more.  This fuels my creativity.  I find I am starting and finishing more like this blog, and other small projects I have around.

Habits and routines are essential for the creative person whom wants to enjoy the fullest satisfaction with a greater productivity.

Quit dreaming and start producing, this is the Art of Living.  The most important thing I have learned is that being an artist, I have to make the room in my schedule and make it a routine being creative.  I cannot afford to be haphazard with something so valuable.  It has become more purposeful and truly delightful.

Texting! False Emotions, text, are you keeping your emotions in check?

Texting, most people do it.  Have you seen people scream at their phone because of a text message they received that they  did not like.  How about the phone checker, every few moments they have to look at their phone just incase a text came within the last ten seconds.  People get depressed if they do not get the text they are expecting.  Checking the phone for text messages has became worse that when people checked their personal email at work.  People are consumed with all this narcissistic activity.

How about those dates you notice them, one is consumed with their phone and the other feels lonely or uncomfortable.  The excuses are only annoying and it makes the innocent party feel that maybe some of the texting is about them.  Do you think they will see you again after such rudeness.  Put the phone away after you turn it off.  Isn’t it nice to have the opportunity to interact with someone without the phone there to bother.  Be careful, the other party may get up and leave you the bill to pay for and without a ride.  Personally, I would get up and go to another table.

Can a person leave their phone in their locker at work?  Are jobs put in jeopardy if people are so involved with their phones they can no longer pay attention at work.

A watchman security guard is busy with his phone and has no idea whom is coming or going.  A young woman walks along to her vehicle unaware of whose aware of her.  She is in her car still fooling with her phone and does not notice the car that turned around to follow her.  People are no longer free to think, or their mind is so consumed with all these things, they cannot figure out life’s problems.

People get depressed if they do not hear from the great many likes.

My concern is when young ones social life is so dependent on this texting that they have relationships with people they barely know based on just texting.  I said  to my son, “How old is she?  What does she do for work?  What does she like to do?”  ‘ I do not know, I have not asked her yet.’  Their communication has become a habit.  A feel good thing based on nothing from no one.  A dependence is formed as the texts fly back and forth, they look forward to them.  They do not know anything about each other, but they sound like they are planning a future together.  This is happening all the time, and people are vulnerable.  Many quickly feel love.  I compare “Texting Love” to fools gold.  Something to think about.

The hold is stronger than most realize, you can reason with a person, and they may even tell you they will no longer do it, but days later you find they never stopped, it is like a drug and it makes them lie.  It is awful.

A couple weeks ago a young woman received a phone call from my son, and she informed him she would not text and she does not want any phone calls.  She feels those are not healthy means for building a concrete relationship.  I am impressed. He took it like he was shot down, instead of an opportunity  to know someone.

Do not be obsessed with our phones, be aware of your surroundings, it could protect you from a violent crime. Texting can be like a quiz show, you cannot see the other parties face and respond.   Text less, interact more.  Keep your emotions in tact, and they will never fail you.

Support your schools by sharing your goods.

Box tops, candy sales, and many other campaigns do help the school system.  There is another way.  Share what you have, time or material things.

If you have some time you can donate it at the local school volunteering.  You can assist on field trips, or if you have a special skill you can volunteer.  The home ec department usually appreciates assistants to help whether it is teaching young ones to sew or cook.  With budget cuts, assistants can make a big difference.  It is a real joy being with the young and they appreciate the help and interest too.

If you have a junk room or a basement with some goods, check with the school because some of the schools hold an annual yard sale with your donated goods.  If you want to donate tools for the shop class it can help the students that do not have the funds to go purchase tools.  Parents that have full time jobs are usually short on time and money.  So, if fabric, yarn, needles, and other crafting supplies, and even sewing machines are donated for the students benefit, it can help everyone.   One time I received a large box of fabric and several boxes of yarn from an auction my brother in law attended, for $35.00 or so.  I picked what I wanted, shared some with friends, and gave the rest to the high school.  I called first and the home ec teacher said they would appreciate it.  They were excited to receive these things.  I have much more for them.  Always call the school first and talk directly to the teacher.

While dejunking keep the shelters in mind too, some leave shelters and go into a new apartment or home and all they have is the back pack they went into the shelter with.  It might take a few phone calls, but there are agencies that depend on the kindness of others to help a family get started up.  There are free sections in craigslist and some newspapers, where you can offer your free goods for pick-up

Some counties have a woman to work program.  Where woman donate their nice business clothes and women with unfortunate circumstances are given a hand-up by being outfitted with respectable attire so as to do well on their first interview.  A program such as this helped me when I was in a desperate situation when I was young with children, they even helped me with proper interviewing skills.  I got the job, they let me keep the clothes and gave me a couple outfits so I could keep a good impression my first couple weeks at the job.  By letting others benefit from our nice clothes we can no longer use, it empties our closets and supports the community.

Supporting our schools and community doesn’t always require money from the wallet.  We all have valuable assets we can offer.  Time and material is valuable too.  We are helped too, it empties our home of things others can benefit from.

Whom is a writer? How to know if your a writer? Whom is not a writer? caution….

A writer is a writer when writing is all the writer wants to do.  When my mind is busy writing while I am walking, working about, driving, and dreaming, my mind is always writing.  I may not realize that I have poor English, and I may be unaware of my poor spelling, yet, my thoughts are rich, and my writing will take you places you never imagined you would go.

How do you know when you are a writer?  When you must write.  Are you a passionate observer of situations around you?  Do you remember with the greatest detail situations that happened decades ago?  Can you still smell, see, and feel?  Do you tend to see the big picture in situations, while minding the minutest of details?  Is there a point to what you want to write and express? What do you hope to accomplish in your writing?  These are all things that affect a writer.  Do you find yourself writing down thoughts, or details, do you write in journals?  Have others told you how great your writing is, and have they said, You should write a book.  Yes, you should be writing.

There is another sort out there, and they have a passion for writing too.  They have excellent sentence structure and spelling.  They recognize great work in an instant.  They just cannot write of their own originality.  There are two outcomes for this type of person, an honorable one, and an unhonorable one.

The honorable person that recognizes great work, understands good material, has great editorial skills.  They make great editors, and those of us writers need you very much.  In fact, there are writing managers with these great skills too, and they make all kinds of successful outcomes for the writer possible.

The unhonorable person is the one that also has excellent English editorial skills.  Yet, they are writing wonnabees.  They do not know how to come up with their own inspiration for writing.  They are quick to recognize talent, and they want that for themselves.  They copy and paste and expand on material to make a name for themselves.  Yet, they do not know how to write.  They surf blogs for inspiration and they steal from other sites. Plagiarism is not a thing of the past.  It is sad.

To the unhonorable person cruising blogs stealing and expanding, become honorable, become a manager so you can make great opportunities for the writers you spy out, and you will become successful yourself.

A creative person is not always the artist whose painting, it is the creative person that sees the inspiration in the work and purchases it to enjoy for themselves.  Creativity needs the artist whom produces, the gallery or manager that promotes, and the buyer whom appreciates.  The creative cycle at work for all.    By Gina of fatfitanfab.com

Neglecting You, I am sorry,

Dear Friends,

I have been neglecting you.  Last Sunday an emergency room visit revealed a double hernia.  Last fall I had surgery for a hernia, and I just hadn’t gotten my stamina and energy back.  Strange pains made me wonder was it MS or an appendicitis.  The pain was so bad I felt like I had contractions and was having a baby.  My husband took me right to the hospital.

Because I have had 27 operations in my young life, I have some scar tissue, and with the hernias pulling at the scar tissue, well, that causes serious problems and pain.  On Monday I go to the surgeon and he will let me know how soon I will be getting my surgery.  It is a bit discouraging and revealing.

For a couple months now I have just been totally exhausted and quite irritable.  So when my son and his wife expressed that they were irritated with me for not doing as well as they thought I should be doing with my domestics I felt really hurt.  They really expected I should be progressing.  I thought I was progressing and my husband thought I was too.  I do have a long way to go.  My daughter in law is a great worker and helper, and I hired her to help me.  Many times she was here I would have to go lay down for a bit.  When I tried to help, I could not keep up with a fit,  young 20 year old. I did not know I had these hernias.  You know how it is, when you do not feel good, you do not always receive things well, and it is easy to misunderstand.  I have been handicapped for a few years with other problems.  Never the less, they had great intentions thinking they would help me to get it together once and for all.  Wouldn’t I love to have it together, to stand on my own, to never need a thing, I do have pride.  The body just does not cooperate.  Today I had a few things I needed to do to prepare for surgery, and a few things I wanted to do.  I have only reclined because I do not feel good.  I am sad because I really wanted to do these things.  My son and his wife are so organized and they do not have one extra thing in their house.  I am very proud of them for how they keep it together so wonderfully.  It saddens me they are disappointed in me.

Being hurt, I spouted off, they are hurt too and greatly disappointed in me.  I am totally confounded.  Physically hurting, and now emotionally hurting, I cannot sort out my own problems.  I am not a good example for others, I am so sorry to all of you that take the time to read my posts.  I write because it seems to be the only thing I do well.  It is your choice if you want to continue on with me.  Now, I do write about what I know, and I am always working on what I suggest.  Let us continue to help each other and continue progressing.  It looks like I will not be able to write every day, but do not forget about me because if I can write, you know I will.