Perplexing Times

Uncertainty arises in all aspects of life.  It is hard to make decisions.  While hard pressed in so many ways it can be easy to jump to the wrong conclusion.  Consequences come so better decisions can bring better consequences. Many experience this, and can deal with a form of chronic anxiety.  What can help us be more decisive?

Sometimes we want to make the right decision, but the right decision is not always so apparent.

Remember, we do not have control of all things, nor of people, and sometimes we can be a victim.  Ecclesiastes 9:11 says “…time an unforeseen occurrence befalls all.”  Anything can happen to anyone.

In other ways we have much more control than we realize.  We can choose to eat in moderation, spend in moderation, clean in moderation, exercise more, be more attentive to our loved ones, watch less television, enjoy being out in creation more, eat out less, go to bed earlier.  Practicing good daily habits can increase our peace and joy.

I have a friend whom is suffering great abuse in many ways from her mate.  She believes in forgiveness yet the abuse has only escalated over the last couple years.  He manipulates her into allowing the abuse.  Her affections are then misconstrued into something unhealthy because she is subjecting herself to stress and sadness.  She has many children whom have to witness this which is a form of abuse too.  This leaves them with unwarranted stress and guilt.  When you have children you cannot protect them and expose them to badness at the same time.  We are responsible to our children, the governmental authorities, Jehovah and his son, and even to ourselves.  Children grow and go.  We must have a safe secure environment for them.

In a situation of abuse, the other party, the one whom does the gross wrongdoing is responsible for their actions.  Blaming ourselves and others only supports their bad ways.  The one in a bad way never sees their own responsibility.  Thus, they continue in their bad way, nursing themself along and others nursing them too.  Freedom and peace comes with decisive action when motivated by Godly principles.

In our situation we just do not know, what appears to be the right way may not be.  When we think we are simplifying we could unwittingly be complicating.  When others are well meaning and tell us, “you need to simplify!” they do not always know what they are talking about.  The reasons a life is complicated must be considered.  After my mother in law died, she had been living with us and was 101.  My husband had a stroke before she died and he had been in a care facility for a while.  I was in distress and could not seem to get it together.  My two friends Olivia and Courtney came over and kindly helped me neaten and clean the kitchen an living room.  That was such a healing.  They did not criticize or counsel, they just helped.  I felt they really understood with love.  Because I have been practicing good habits, I have been able to keep it all up since.  It just is difficult to gain the extra ground.  Last week on a day I was tired and felt a little useless I decided to just pull one of my kitchen drawers open and take a few things out that I just do not care to use.  Then I went to the next drawer and quickly did that one.  In less than ten minutes I did all of them.  Then the next day I asked someone if they could use these things and they were happy to get them.  When I do laundry, I look for things I do not care about and toss.  It feels good.  I am not being pushed or rushed, and I can do it.  Slowly acquiring a healthy esteem.

We are not well and we are trying to simplify.  While we have reduced some monthly expenses others seem to have simultaneously gone up.  We went an changed up our car insurance to bring expenses down, two weeks later it went right back up and yet one less car to cover.  Other things are less and this makes us very happy.  We are still trying to work on this because it is always beneficial to reassess our budget.

My husband has a complicated medical situation that has him down.  Today he was having a neurological attack and fell over into a rose bush   When I tried to pull him out he was leaning just as hard into the rose bush.  I had already sprained my right shoulder an arm and as I was trying to pull him out of the bush it was very difficult.  He fell back into the rose bush. He does not want to admit it hurt yet I am sure it did.  Feeling sad for him and I love him very much.  Just want to help him to feel good about things.

We have cucumbers growing up the lattice and we look forward to picking the first one.  Looking for the sunny side helps a lot.

Good friends are the greatest blessing.  A good friend is not judgmental, instead aids you when you express a desire to improve.  Tonight a couple friends said they noticed I have been losing weight.  I feel encouraged.  I still have a lot of weight to lose but they did not mention that, so I need not focus on that, just keep going in the right direction.

Naturally, genetically haphazard and unorganized it is very difficult to be organized.  All the criticism meant with love only causes me to feel incapable.

The conclusion I have come to is that if my calf muscles are small naturally, I may not be able to change that.  Yet, with regular exercise I can develop them.  They may always be small but they can become stronger and appear nicer.  Yet, unrealistic expectations of them being rounder and fuller, would be disappointing.

By acknowledging that I have many interests and that I tend to be a homebody means I tend to have many things around me.  I like being able to putter with this and that.

There are some truths I have identified about myself, such as: excessive clutter makes me feel uncomfortable.  I do like seeing all surfaces wiped down and clean.  The mother whom raised me took great pride in keeping her windows, cabinets, appliances and floors clean.  In fact she had a system for being clean everyday.  I really liked that, yet I was unsuccessful at implementing any system myself.  Knowing I like cleanliness and that our creator requires it, is the best motivation.  I have a long way to go to be like I want to be.  Improvement is slow in coming yet, I have been working on it a long time while dealing with one unusual situation after another.  A friend of mine whom was visiting last week said she has seen our home get nicer and more organized.  She did not criticize me for still having a lot of clutter and disorganization.  She commended me for the progress and left it at that.  That made me feel so good, because like weight loss, change and results can take a lot longer than we like.  It does not happen overnight.   I cannot be thin just because I want to be, I cannot be organized just because I want to be.  Yet, I can practice thin habits and I can practice organized habits.  In time, the results will be evident and I can feel I reflect well on my creator in all things.  This keeps me motivated and it is its own reward.

Decisions are numerous, thousand a day.  In many areas like personal, medical, relationships, financial, moral, where we live and what we do.

Knowing we want to please our creator in all we do helps us to make better decisions.  Praying for guidance then following thru makes a difference too.  Considering long term outcomes helps us narrow down our options.  This can curtail spontaneous behaviors when we contemplate the results and costs.

By knowing a few things about ourselves, honestly assessing the good and not so good helps us not be so vulnerable.

For example:

  1.   I am sensitive and emotional.  This makes me vulnerable to misunderstand and be offended.  The scriptural principle at Ecclesiastes 7:9 says “Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense lodges in the bosom of fools.”  Need I say more, I have stupidly taken offense needlessly with heavy consequences.
  2. Emotional impulses that lead to eating or spending without control.  I feel so happy I am going to have a piece of cake, or I am so depressed a little shopping will make me feel better.  Feelings can be misleading and can bring on a heap of problems.  Instead, I feel so good I am going to take a walk and enjoy creation.  Or, I feel so depressed I will just go take a little walk and enjoy creation.  It works both ways.  The Bible principle I think of is, 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says “therefore whether you are eating or drinking or doing anything else, do all things for Gods glory”.

There are many bible principles that aid us in daily living.  And when answers are not obvious a lot of prayer and decisive baby steps with patience can bring about good results.

Written by:  Gina Rydin author of all fatfitanfab.com articles.

Please keep in mind, you decide and choose what you do.  I speak only from my own experience as your neighbor or friend and I am not a healthcare professional.

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Luxurious Living

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Living in the Lap of luxury was a common phrase generations ago.  Is this something people do?  Is this truly prosperous and satisfying?  How can we live in a prosperous and satisfying manner?  We will seek to answer these questions.  The answers may make a positive change in a person’s life.  Please consider…

Throughout history man has been in search of more.  Some whom have a lot want more.  Some whom have little are satisfied and why?  There are always times of plenty and times of famine.

Think of times when food was rationed, could it happen again?  Is it always some far off place?  If a person has plenty, why should they worry about this?

In some places in the world a person can go buy what they want or think they need.    Getting the vehicles, homes, clothes, beauty treatments, vacations, etc…and fritter money here and there without much thought .  Then they do more, buy more, and more is never enough, not recognizing situations change.  The money may not always be there.  Most people do not feel the need to worry about it.  But should we consider our circumstances?

We never expected our situation to change so dramatically.  It can change on a dime is also an old phrase.  I personally know this is true.  Our situation has changed.  I wish I had thought about all this sooner.

Personally I have never been into the beauty treatments and getting nails done. I kinda like being a plain Gina.  It is Good not having to worry about being a diva or beauty queen.  Being ordinary takes the pressure off.  I get my hair trimmed or cut twice a year and trim it the rest of the time myself.  My hair is a blaa blond, and when I am outside it brightens up some.  I dream of cutting it a shoulder length and dying it a dark red.  The only deterrent is being a slave to roots.  I do not do well with chemicals so I just continue as it is anyway.

Doing my own fingernails and eyebrows helps too.  I wouldn’t win any awards for the outcome.

I do not smoke or gamble and rarely have a glass of wine so that really cuts down on expenditure.  Imagine the money that literally goes up in smoke for some.  My mother spent so much money on her cigarettes when I was growing up.  One time when I was a young teenage girl I figured out how much she spent in a month on her cigarettes and I mentioned this to her.  She hauled off and slapped my face.  I never figured out whom was in the wrong with that one.  I just remember her being on the phone saying she needed money for the power bill.

I use to love going to thrift stores and yard sales.  But it really cost me a lot of money and I was dragging stuff in the house.  I had to put a stop on that.

Do you like clothes?  I love clothes and shoes.  I fall in love with clothes all the time and I always see the need.  Yet, my closets are bursting at the seams.  If I got rid of some of the less best garments I might be one of the best dressed women of our generation.  What generation?  This one of luxuriant living is what I refer to.

We love eating out, yet, we have cut back on this.  We still do eat out sometimes.  It costs so much more than it use to.  Like a days wages if you think about it.  Something else to consider: It is just, when I was young, the tips for your server were usually 10%, then later it went up to 15%, then 18%, now it is 20%.  Sometimes the tip is so big it is like paying for another meal, for the invisible person. It is almost painful.  The knowledge that the waiter may be emotionally hurt if they do not get the 20% is something that keeps us pigeonholed into this.  They really rely on this income.   The other problem is that they may not even receive all of their tip if paid w a credit card depending on the establishment.  How can I support this big game when the cost of the meal could really buy a couple bags of groceries or fill a gas tank?  What is balance?  That, each man or woman or family must figure out.  Try looking at a month, compare to another month.  Start keeping track.  This does not mean we cannot go out to eat.  Just, how often…might be considered.

Junk food,  what is that?  It happens to us, going to the store hungry, our cart is always fuller.  A drive thru happy meal would be more economical.

Just the requirements of daily life have snuck up in costs.  And it seems what previously was considered a luxury decades ago, cable tv, Internet, cell phones, not everyone had them.  We always seemed to be the last to get them.  The latest, the greatest, and speed seem to be a factor.

The utility bills have come up and take out a chunk of change.

I feel bad for many children being raised to think that this is normal.  They are unhappy always wanting more, always wanting newer, competing with their peers.  The status symbol, and their esteems are built on a slippery slope.  Parents are begged and bullied into getting their children expensive phones etc.   The assumptions by children that they can expect their parents to provide all this and so much more.  Most cannot afford but quietly, stressfully, helplessly go along which creates unrealistic expectations.

We are truly trapped it seems.  Can we say No!!!.?   Where are the boundaries?  Can adjustments be made?  How can I create satisfying boundaries in my life?

In high school we had an Independant Living class.  We looked at a potential monthly budget based on a basic wage.  Then we subtracted the rent for home, the utilities and insurances, and fuel, then we knew what we had for groceries.  We then could see what was left and we put a percentage of that in a savings account.

The times we live in are really more expensive when we add it up.

Remember a game of chess, or a board game and the fun we had.  How about the woodworking, sewing, knitting, embroidery, cooking and baking?  A hobby was very satisfying and earned you a real esteem.  A child proud of a picture they drew is a real event.  Sadly, many are more proud of their scores playing their games on their phone.

People have many vices in search of something, it breaks up families, and leaves people broke and depleted.

Slow down, calm down, recollect, reconnect, reconsider, appreciate, make new boundaries, stress less, be satisfied sooner, reassess needs.  Save yourself, save your family.  Hebrews 13:5,6 says:  Let your way of life be free of the love of money, while you are content with the present things.  For he has said: “I will never leave you, and I will never abandon you.”  So that we may be of good courage and say:”Jehovah is my helper; I will not be afraid… “  please read the whole chapter of Hebrews 13. It shows us how we can live a better life.

Changing things up here financially is helping. Yet, it has not been soon enough.  We still feel the stress of the heavy load we unwittingly created.  The scriptures admonish us to “live within our means”.  Inflated needs which are built on an imaginary lifestyle.  Needs the world around us makes us believe are normal.  The scriptures talk about us being satisfied with our daily needs being met.  Figuring this out can be a rewarding challenge.  In the last three years I have quit using three department store credit cards.  Three other credit cards I no longer use.  I am down to two credit cards and I am working on using them less.  It really is making me happy.  It still seems our credit/debt/income ratio is off balance.  This makes me really uncomfortable.  When we consider what this really is and how this affects so many aspects of our lives, it is rewarding to make an adjustment.  We still have a long way to go and more adjustments to make.  It seemed we were blind to boundaries we should have had.  And financial situations change in many ways, the world scene, the country we might live in, the income, health,  living expenses, job security, all are temporary.

How often do you say no to yourself?.   I do not say no as often as I like but I do say no more often than I use to.  It feels good.  A small measure of control.

Luxurious living is living within our means while having joyful interactions with those we love.  Cooking together, going to the park, enjoying creation, gardening, building something or sewing a garment are also rewarding activities.  Really living a life with a positive outcome in view.

Written by:  Gina Rydin  (the photo is a dinner my husband and I prepared together, leftover spaghetti baked, sautéed asperity Gus   And avacado)  that was a nice luxurious evening.

A Mini Vacation

A mini Vacation, sounds like a lot of hassle for whAt?!!  Do you feel overwhelmed in your life, unable to think, focus, or even connect with loved ones.  I was feeling this way, and a little in the dumps.  John was feeling depressed from ongoing physical and emotional fatigue.  Everyone around me found that I was quite irritable.  Where was my Joy?

My husband is experiencing the sad effects of Feltsie syndtome.  A type of rhummatoid arthritis. After almost a year of uncertainty, appointments, meds, scans, and anemia w low platelet count it became too much for both of us.  He finally had his spleen removed.  His platelets are up but he still feels bad and is twenty pounds underweight.  Did I mention we went through this eight years ago with me?  Neither of us have a spleen now.  Chronic Illness is taking it’s toll on him, so we are trying to find ways to renew optimism and Joy.

We went to a special clinic for him to be examined and that he may recieve a beneficial treatment plan.   We decided to plan a couple fun activities.  Neither of us have a lot of energy so we chose to keep our plan simple and flexible.  It worked!

This is the way.  First, his appointment was in a city a few hours away.  We knew we did not want to drive a long way early before the appointment so we booked the hotel and got a nice place at the LaQuinta.  We chose a more spacious room and got it for a few days so we would not have to drive home after the appointment either.  The drive was nice, no rushing, stop, get out and stretch.  The day of appointment, we got a nice lunch after and went to a Motorsport museum later after a nap.  Then rested the evening.  The next day we went to a zoo and it was such a nice experience.  Back to room for a rest then out for an early dinner and a relaxing evening.  Then we met with some friends for lunch and headed home.  We had a good time and it was a nice break.

The reprieve gave us a readjusted viewpoint with Joy.  The Joy feeds endurance something we all need.

Now,  I think I want to focus on joy a little longer,  I am going to the website jw.org and look up Joy so I can incorporate it into my daily life a little more.

PS.  A habit I am trying to practice, which is a challenge for me, litl’ Ms. Haphazard.  Making the time to neaten the inside of my car and wipe it down.  A long time ago I decided Friday is the most suitable and beneficial day for me to do this.  Yet, it rarely happens and I do not know why.  However, although, it currently is not a weekly habit as I would desire.  I have been more mindful about cleaning my car out on Fridays and I occasionally do it.  The beneficial results give me a sense of satisfaction.  A Friday does not go by that I do not think of it now.  Tonight, it was beautiful out, a nice breeze.  With about six cats choosing to walk around and inspect, I was able to wipe down all interior surfaces while enjoying nighttime noises.  It was not difficult and I enjoyed this quiet time.  The feel good feeling was so satisfying, that when I saw my husband after, I decided not to even mention it.  Do we really need to hear Good Job!?  Oh, I am like everyone, I love to hear it.  But to just feel it secretly, only my Great creator and I.   Was that also a mini Vacation?!

Author of this and all articles on fatfitanfab.com Gina Rydin

 

 

 

 

Another Year Gone By. Happy Prospects Despite:

There is so much is happening in this world, some things are frightening and depressing.  Many are personally touched by tragedy.  Yet, we have a life to live.  As long as we are alive we have a responsibility to be happy.  Some get happiness mixed up with selfishness or me ism.  It is not the same.

If we have a roof over our head, a bed to sleep in, and our basic necessities met, we have a lot to appreciate.  I am not going to depress you with facts and figures about all those whom do not have their basic needs met.  More people than you think have experienced homelessness or other sad situations.  What I would like to suggest is that we can afford to feel a measure of contentment and appreciation.  Contentment and appreciation are Happiness manufactures.  If a person only wants more and they do not see the good in their life with great appreciation, they will never be happy.  When our sons were small and life was so difficult and there was no money to pay the power bill, I still told the boys we were richer than most.  We were.

Another Happiness factor is quit looking elsewhere for what you may already have.  Invest in your mate, children, home, job, and community.  Some are not happy with their mate, what happens then.  Children grow up emotionally detached if we do not regularly communicate with them.  They can become vulnerable because of feeling unloved and lonely.  Everyday, our mates and children need us to Stop!  Look! and Listen!

What would you like to accomplish in the next quarter, 1/2 year point, third quarter?  This first quarter we definitely can start early figuring out our taxes.  An exercise routine is good to get busy with.  This next quarter I want to get some household decorative issues taken care of, finish painting, get some wood work done.

Having a schedule, and quarterly goals keeps me inspired and optimistic.  You cannot be happy if you do not have hope.  There is so much in life we have no power to control.  It is critical that we have short terms goals and long term goals.  Every day consider what step you can take to work toward the accomplishment of your goal.  A short term/longterm goal I have is the practice of productivity in my sewing and painting areas.  I am eager to get more productivity and results regulary.

Productivity restores a sense of well being to the mind.  If a person is layed off, retired, or disabled, productivity is still a necessity.  Some suffer with depression, the loss of employment or an ongoing sad situation can get us down.  Keeping a domestic schedule with some social activities keeps one from isolating themselves.  Productivity causes one to feel accomplished.  Even something as simple as cleaning out one drawer in the kitchen and organizing it gives me pleasure.  Cleaning and organizing a shelf a night in the pantry or the refrigerator creates good feelings.

Assessing responsibilities, and fulfilling them, benefits all.

Considering the application of some of these behaviors, attitudes and habits can cause you, me, and our loved ones to feel happiness.  I desire that as you proceed into this new year that some of your hopes, and goals are fulfilled.                       Gina