Perplexing Times

Uncertainty arises in all aspects of life.  It is hard to make decisions.  While hard pressed in so many ways it can be easy to jump to the wrong conclusion.  Consequences come so better decisions can bring better consequences. Many experience this, and can deal with a form of chronic anxiety.  What can help us be more decisive?

Sometimes we want to make the right decision, but the right decision is not always so apparent.

Remember, we do not have control of all things, nor of people, and sometimes we can be a victim.  Ecclesiastes 9:11 says “…time an unforeseen occurrence befalls all.”  Anything can happen to anyone.

In other ways we have much more control than we realize.  We can choose to eat in moderation, spend in moderation, clean in moderation, exercise more, be more attentive to our loved ones, watch less television, enjoy being out in creation more, eat out less, go to bed earlier.  Practicing good daily habits can increase our peace and joy.

I have a friend whom is suffering great abuse in many ways from her mate.  She believes in forgiveness yet the abuse has only escalated over the last couple years.  He manipulates her into allowing the abuse.  Her affections are then misconstrued into something unhealthy because she is subjecting herself to stress and sadness.  She has many children whom have to witness this which is a form of abuse too.  This leaves them with unwarranted stress and guilt.  When you have children you cannot protect them and expose them to badness at the same time.  We are responsible to our children, the governmental authorities, Jehovah and his son, and even to ourselves.  Children grow and go.  We must have a safe secure environment for them.

In a situation of abuse, the other party, the one whom does the gross wrongdoing is responsible for their actions.  Blaming ourselves and others only supports their bad ways.  The one in a bad way never sees their own responsibility.  Thus, they continue in their bad way, nursing themself along and others nursing them too.  Freedom and peace comes with decisive action when motivated by Godly principles.

In our situation we just do not know, what appears to be the right way may not be.  When we think we are simplifying we could unwittingly be complicating.  When others are well meaning and tell us, “you need to simplify!” they do not always know what they are talking about.  The reasons a life is complicated must be considered.  After my mother in law died, she had been living with us and was 101.  My husband had a stroke before she died and he had been in a care facility for a while.  I was in distress and could not seem to get it together.  My two friends Olivia and Courtney came over and kindly helped me neaten and clean the kitchen an living room.  That was such a healing.  They did not criticize or counsel, they just helped.  I felt they really understood with love.  Because I have been practicing good habits, I have been able to keep it all up since.  It just is difficult to gain the extra ground.  Last week on a day I was tired and felt a little useless I decided to just pull one of my kitchen drawers open and take a few things out that I just do not care to use.  Then I went to the next drawer and quickly did that one.  In less than ten minutes I did all of them.  Then the next day I asked someone if they could use these things and they were happy to get them.  When I do laundry, I look for things I do not care about and toss.  It feels good.  I am not being pushed or rushed, and I can do it.  Slowly acquiring a healthy esteem.

We are not well and we are trying to simplify.  While we have reduced some monthly expenses others seem to have simultaneously gone up.  We went an changed up our car insurance to bring expenses down, two weeks later it went right back up and yet one less car to cover.  Other things are less and this makes us very happy.  We are still trying to work on this because it is always beneficial to reassess our budget.

My husband has a complicated medical situation that has him down.  Today he was having a neurological attack and fell over into a rose bush   When I tried to pull him out he was leaning just as hard into the rose bush.  I had already sprained my right shoulder an arm and as I was trying to pull him out of the bush it was very difficult.  He fell back into the rose bush. He does not want to admit it hurt yet I am sure it did.  Feeling sad for him and I love him very much.  Just want to help him to feel good about things.

We have cucumbers growing up the lattice and we look forward to picking the first one.  Looking for the sunny side helps a lot.

Good friends are the greatest blessing.  A good friend is not judgmental, instead aids you when you express a desire to improve.  Tonight a couple friends said they noticed I have been losing weight.  I feel encouraged.  I still have a lot of weight to lose but they did not mention that, so I need not focus on that, just keep going in the right direction.

Naturally, genetically haphazard and unorganized it is very difficult to be organized.  All the criticism meant with love only causes me to feel incapable.

The conclusion I have come to is that if my calf muscles are small naturally, I may not be able to change that.  Yet, with regular exercise I can develop them.  They may always be small but they can become stronger and appear nicer.  Yet, unrealistic expectations of them being rounder and fuller, would be disappointing.

By acknowledging that I have many interests and that I tend to be a homebody means I tend to have many things around me.  I like being able to putter with this and that.

There are some truths I have identified about myself, such as: excessive clutter makes me feel uncomfortable.  I do like seeing all surfaces wiped down and clean.  The mother whom raised me took great pride in keeping her windows, cabinets, appliances and floors clean.  In fact she had a system for being clean everyday.  I really liked that, yet I was unsuccessful at implementing any system myself.  Knowing I like cleanliness and that our creator requires it, is the best motivation.  I have a long way to go to be like I want to be.  Improvement is slow in coming yet, I have been working on it a long time while dealing with one unusual situation after another.  A friend of mine whom was visiting last week said she has seen our home get nicer and more organized.  She did not criticize me for still having a lot of clutter and disorganization.  She commended me for the progress and left it at that.  That made me feel so good, because like weight loss, change and results can take a lot longer than we like.  It does not happen overnight.   I cannot be thin just because I want to be, I cannot be organized just because I want to be.  Yet, I can practice thin habits and I can practice organized habits.  In time, the results will be evident and I can feel I reflect well on my creator in all things.  This keeps me motivated and it is its own reward.

Decisions are numerous, thousand a day.  In many areas like personal, medical, relationships, financial, moral, where we live and what we do.

Knowing we want to please our creator in all we do helps us to make better decisions.  Praying for guidance then following thru makes a difference too.  Considering long term outcomes helps us narrow down our options.  This can curtail spontaneous behaviors when we contemplate the results and costs.

By knowing a few things about ourselves, honestly assessing the good and not so good helps us not be so vulnerable.

For example:

  1.   I am sensitive and emotional.  This makes me vulnerable to misunderstand and be offended.  The scriptural principle at Ecclesiastes 7:9 says “Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense lodges in the bosom of fools.”  Need I say more, I have stupidly taken offense needlessly with heavy consequences.
  2. Emotional impulses that lead to eating or spending without control.  I feel so happy I am going to have a piece of cake, or I am so depressed a little shopping will make me feel better.  Feelings can be misleading and can bring on a heap of problems.  Instead, I feel so good I am going to take a walk and enjoy creation.  Or, I feel so depressed I will just go take a little walk and enjoy creation.  It works both ways.  The Bible principle I think of is, 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says “therefore whether you are eating or drinking or doing anything else, do all things for Gods glory”.

There are many bible principles that aid us in daily living.  And when answers are not obvious a lot of prayer and decisive baby steps with patience can bring about good results.

Written by:  Gina Rydin author of all fatfitanfab.com articles.

Please keep in mind, you decide and choose what you do.  I speak only from my own experience as your neighbor or friend and I am not a healthcare professional.

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Altogether untogether, do you ever feel this way?

At times, life’s responsibilities are so overwhelming it is hard to remember whom we are and what we like to do.

We try so hard to keep it together, then it is so easy to land onto the couch and watch an episode of Gunsmoke or something.  Yet, is it becoming our thing, our habit to drop and chill?  Is there any other way to reconnect with the joy of living the life?

My Dear mother in law is living with us.  She is 101 years old.  Overall it is going fine.  My husband nor I feel well and it makes everything so challenging.

Thankfully, she does not complain much and goes with the flow.

A friend makes pound cakes and shares by showing up at bad times and gives these to encourage others.  Although it has been a couple years and she is going thru so much herself.  I believe she deserves some pound cakes.  I asked Lisa to share her recipe and she did.  I know there are thousands of poundcake recipes online, but there is nothing like one shared by a friend you know to be good.  I brought Marcia into the kitchen and we visited as I put the cake together.  It was a nice experience and it turned out well.  This afternoon Marcia looked at me and said, where is this cake we baked?!  So I brought her a big piece and she liked it.  Which of course made me very happy.

Today, I just wanted to be in bed.  Everything hurts and I am tired.  This week there has been plans to teach a young lady how to sew pillows an insert the forms.  Her mother and she picked out many nice fabrics at a fabric store and pillow forms.  Marcia enjoyed watching us girls measure, cut and sew.  All turned out fine and it was a joy.   Her mother gave me some of the lovely fabrics.  What a treat!

When I plan time w others I have to think ahead for the meals to avoid temptations of eating out.  Our middle son Brock gave me a rice cooker so tonight I dropped in frozen chopped Peppers an onions, a couple packages of jumbulia ricean beans, Conecka sausage, chicken broth and pinto beans and just let it cook itself in this rice cooker   It turned out very well with minimal effort.   When your just tired it makes you happy when things turn out well.

We made an agreement this week to really watch how we spend and that we want to live on the leaner side.  We do not always recognize how easily we live in a luxurious manner.  We meaning anyone.  We want to pay off any debt and live within our means more closely.  Circumstances change and are we really prepared for them?

My friend Vickie, her husband is dealing with extreme health issues, she has a special needs son besides.  Vickie has always managed to keep her home together, help others and go for walks.  We were talking tonight and reminding each other of the importance of having little things you like to do.  Making time to do these activities.   Vickie is accepting help from others to take her husband for his treatments.  It is humble of her to accept the help because he and she has been good to so many over the years.  He gains encouragement from spending time with others and experiencing their care for him.

A family we cherish in the Panama City, Florida area that was affected by the hurricane expressed today that they are just longing for some normalcy.  We really were designed to have routines and steady circumstances.  Our creator designed us to be stable and that is what we yearn for.  When our world is upside down we are too!  They will be coming for a brief visit in a couple weeks and we look forward to it.

I am taking a course with the Tidy Tudor.  It is very enjoyable.  About good habits and ways of thinking that affect our life in a more healthful manner.  I am not naturally organized and would like to be.  Kathy Roberts is very motivating with a new step each day or concept to consider.

Right now the house seems a mess and it has only been six days that I finally got a shot to settle my asthma down.   I am not up to par.  My husband and I neaten up and Vaccume before bed because we like it looking nice when we get up.   Somehow, it gets totally destroyed each day, I do not know how it happens.

Three points to get out of all my jibber jabber.

  1.  Remember some activity you always enjoyed doing and include that in your life.  Whether it be working out, dancing, tennis, woodworking, needlework, gardening or baking etc.  make the time for it.  It is important!  Even Daily Bible Reading  is considered to be the most valuable of activities to include in our life.  I know making the time for it makes a difference in my outlook and attitude.
  2. Include people in your life no matter how crazy your life seems.  People help keep our perspective healthful.  I enjoy company, such a boost!
  3. Habits and routines are sanity keepers.  If it is difficult to get on track, ask for help or take a mini course.  Tap into our reset button and just do the basics until recovery is bestowed on us.  Choose something from each of the three on the list and see if it does not help a little.

Our lives are always changing and we must adjust or we can break under the pressure.

Written by:  Gina Rydin of fatfitanfab.com

Friends make life more tolerable and bring joy.

Friendships definately stimulate joy in our lives.  How do we make friends in the cyber world?  How about an old fashioned face to face contact, conversations and good times.

Loniliness is an actual problem for many. Life’s responsibilities keep most so busy they only have time to carry out their domestic duties and get rest when the next day presents the same.

Of course some are very shy and do not know how to get the conversation ball rolling and keep it rolling and for how long.

With good things there are always limits, boundaries, and rules of respect.

Imagine if one friend works and has children she is definately going to have less time then an older semi-retired person with no children.  So if you want to visit with her, invite them all over and have a meal ready with no requirements of her.  Understand children have bedtimes, homework, and she may still have washing to do for the week.  Do not be hurt that she must leave so soon?  You did help and your friendship means a lot.

I love spending time with my friends.  My friend Susan made lovely cards and has organized an old fashioned tea party on Sunday afternoon.  Exciting.

My friend Danielle and her daughter are learning how to sew from me and are progressing quite well. We love spending time together while being productive.  We are all learning new things.

Valerie is teaching me how to Garden, she is amazing.  I kinda get out of the way, she moves fast and confidently as I hang around wanting to help and I am not useful.  She has taught me so much and the garden is lovely. We have good times together talking and laughing.  Her household goes to bed early so although we could hang out til they kick us out or make another bed, we strive to be considerate and leave not too later than their usual bedtime.  😂

I do not like to ask people how they are because it is an unfair question.  The rule of thumb is to smile and say good or fine while you may be dying inside.

I like to ask what a person has coming up next week, or did they recently do anything enjoyable.   Last evening I asked Danielle if she had anything fun coming up?  She said she and her husband, son and daughter were going to an dinasaur exhibit.  I think that is so exciting.  I look forward to our conversation after they have experienced this.

We must be more interesting than the internet.  Instead of watching movies, playing games on phone, internet cruising, and such.  Learn to live your life!  Be the heroine of your own story instead of passively letting it pass you by.  Imagine how many hours are wasted on the internet or television.  Add them up if you dare.  Time runs out of the day, week, months and years. Yes, our life can passively pass us by.

By doing activities, we become interesting.  For instance, I finally lost a couple pounds, only a couple.  It was enough to wear my floral linen dress   I wore it and was happy for a little bit, until I realized the side splits came up half my thigh.  As soon as I got home I got my box of grommets out and while talking to my almost 26 year old son, Brock is my middle son which always has it’s advantages, and my husband.  The unusual course of things is they think I do not know how to do things   They cannot resist taking over and have great fun doing it.  So he took everything from me and now he was setting the grommets into my dress side slits where I had marked   When he was nearing finish He said, “as usual mom, you start things you do not know how to do, good thing I came around”, and he has one eyebrow up for emphasis.  It took everything to keep from laughing hysterically.   I then said to John, my husband, “how come you did not say it was your turn to set some grommets like when I made my striped bag you too fought over your turns like little children?!”.  He just looked at me as I giggled about the both of them.   If I want to set the grommets, I have to take my things and hide under a tree.  Yet, these men, my husband and sons create such entertainment I think This is truly called living.  Being involved in activities together.  Oh,  my dress looks cute with the shoe lace look, I used embroidery threads and put beads on.

I asked my husband what was one thing he noticed and liked about me.  His reply was, “you were always doing something, and no matter what was going on with you or around you, you were always so chipper and happy”.  I thought that was great because that is how I am.

Quit reading about others so much, live a life worth writing about in your own journal.  Write down something positive someone said to you, or a good outcome of something you worried about.  I like to combine my journal with my calendar and master lists for weeks and months so my accomplishments and direction or focus is all together in one place.  I am thru trying to buy journals and calendars.  There are none perfect and they run out of months.  Living my life includes making a personal everlasting journal/calendar/masterlist binder I can add to an take away from all I like.

Set up your challenge and stick to it.  Mine is Daily Bible reading, daily practice of simplified domestic schedule, sewing, gardening and painting regularly.  Oh, do not forget hospitality.  Invite ones to meet for coffee, or to library for a book on a place you want to vacation.  Greece or Peru, I cannot afford to go but I can plan my ideal trip anyway and pray about it.

The point is, Be your own friend first, go to museums, concerts, learn to dance, learn a hobby, fill your time with wholesome activities.  Friends will naturally come in time.  We are not desperate for friends, that makes us vulnerable and stupid.  Be discerning and do not immediately befriend anyone.   Do not drop your life story on anyone the first few times you meet and do not feel the need to pull personal information from them.  It all comes in time.  If someone has undesirable traits that concern you, gently mention it and give them the benefit of doubt.  Yet, we have no right over others.  Their choices are their own to make.  I like to show from the Bible how God, Jehovah and his son, Jesus feel about the matter.  This way it is not my opinion or preference.  People are not perfect and I am far from perfect.  Allow people to be themselves.  Sometimes friends come and go.  Yet, some will stick with you through the years.

Living our life, being God’s friend, our own friend, a friend to our family, and others will freely draw near and it is a delightful journey.

Now, my domestics need attention, then I will stop an sew or paint later this afternoon.  Live! Live! Today.

Being Inspired and Inspiring others

Radiating warmth, comes from a mind and heart full of optimism for the well being of all you come in contact with.

The fact that hardships abound and there is no discrimination.  We cannot know the pain in another’s heart.

We cannot solve others problems, yet, we can lift another’s spirits.  It may be possible to help them see other choices available.  The power of making choices based on the best of options and possible outcomes can improve our life.

Fear can blind us to the options we have.  We can feel so limited because of our situation.  Threatening situations can keep us bound, like we come up with all the reasons to avoid a change. Imaging our situation will become worse, and yes it could.  Yet, a change is just that, a change.   It could change for the better as well.

Supporting another’s progress whether it is weight loss, or a cleaner home, or a more positive attitude is supporting a better society. We must invest in each other joyfully and optimistically.

A friend of mine is so perky, generous, optimistic.  She is refreshing.  I have been gravitating toward positive people. It is great having her in my life.

At times we have people in our life that are so emotionally taxing.  Emotional heavyweights are just that, how can we help them to have a different view of life?  Sometimes we cannot help another with their viewpoints or problems.  We may be the heavyweight ourself with the serious problems.  Our circumstances may seem daunting.  There may not always be clear answers.  We can always reconsider advice previously offered.  I have not always been ready to change, then privately, I think and pray about it.   There are times I try a new way and am benefitted.  It is easy to understand why change is so difficult.  I am a reforming near-hoarder.   Sometime, I will tell you about it.   People have tried to advise, counsel, and emotionally force a change.  Only the last couple years have I figured it out with the help of some good programs. Change can feel like a very drawn out process.  I want to be better now!  Ok, I am better now because I am making the adjustments.  Impatient with myself because I know how I want to be, and change is a practice, not a wish.

We might feel bad that we cannot help another, we after all have our own responsibilities and problems.  The Bible says we will carry our own load.  If we are on the phone every day hearing about another’s troubles, and we are so emotionally involved we get stressed how can we adequately attend to our own.  Imagine if we have a mate and children and we use the time we should be attentive to them to be stressed about another’s problems while neglecting those we should be actively loving.

Friendships are essential to emotional health.  A friend is someone that we can enjoy activities with, talk with, enjoying a positive interchange.  I have some friends whom are optimistic, they have not given up on me.  Their faith in me is essential and supports my growth.  I have a belief that a hand-up policy is the best.

Some enter our life suddenly like a breeze.  Refreshing their ways are and we  blessed.  In many ways we feel capable again.  We look forward realizing change and joy are possible.   They are an answer to a prayer. Just as suddenly they have moved on, but we were blessed.

Thank you to all whom have had faith in me, loving me despite.  Thank you!

Gina

 

fatfitanfab.com

June is running by ….July approaches …

June is running by, and half the year is now behind us.  What do we still have to do?  Is there anything we wanted to accomplish this year?

It is a good time to refer back to our Goal List for the year.  Three areas I like to consider

  1.  Health and Fitness Goals.
  2. Relationships
  3. Domestic

1.  Health and Fitness Goals:  Let us expound on the most typical goal for the year, Health and Fitness.  Each year we get older and even young people are experiencing health problems.  We will not even discuss the newfound issues with healthcare and insurance costs.  The high monthly costs of mandatory insurance is causing many to avoid visits to the doctor because of high copays and deductibles.  If there was not a good enough basis for a healthy diet and regular exercise, there is more motivation now.

We have one body, and our health we must seek to protect it.   Wise choices, no extremes are necessary.  Fruits and vegetables never go out of fashion and are readily available in most markets.  It only takes moments to use a regular blender to make a nutritious cool drink.  Would you like to know my recipe for a quick tasty fruit smoothie?

One I have been using for literally decades is, I will call it:

Fruit Frapp by Gina @  fatfitanfab.com

one serving recipe:              6 oz orange juice, (not from concentrate), or 6 oz of water. a banana, a peeled apple, and one cup of frozen berries.  Put in the blender, put on for 40 seconds to a minute an a half.    If you do not want to use a bannana, you can substitute a cup of fresh-cut papaya.

The banana or papaya give the drink a smoothness like a shake.  The frozen fruits may have raspberries in which do have seeds.  They remain like seeds. I just swallow them.  If a person has digestive issues like diverticulitis the seeds may bother them so you may choose just a strawberry/blueberry mix.

Be careful if you have diabetes or blood sugar problems.  Only you know if you can have citrus, some medications are a problem.  As I am not a doctor or nutritionist, I am only sharing a recipe which helps me to get my vitamin C, other vitamins, and natural fiber.

I like to make vegetable smoothies in the late afternoon before I start making dinner, that I can sip which can get the edge off hunger and be quite satisfying.  My cardiologist did recommend simply having a V8 each day.  I do not have a great tasting vegtable smoothie that is quick to make.  I do like spinach, a clove of garlic, a handful of fresh parsley, two carrots, and a celery stalk with the leaves.  I do use a pinch of salt because I naturally have low blood pressure.  Then I blend in my regular blender.

Responsible self-care involves regular exercise.  With all the responsibilities people have in their life it can be a real challenge to cull out the time to take a walk, or take a bike ride, or use an exercize machine.  Yet, it is relaxing, destressing, and exhilarating.  Not only can it help us to maintain our weight, it can help prevent us from gaining more weight if that is our objective.  If our objective is to lose weight, than exercising daily with a plan can help us reach our goals.  I had ankle surgery on my right ankle in the beginning of February.  It all seems so slow to heal.  Both ankles have each had two surgeries.  As much as I want to take off and go for a run, or go for a walk it is just not reasonable at this point.  I purchased a bike and I have been striving to go for a ride a few times a week.  The heat is unbearable for daily rides and I am unfit.  Should I call myself unfit?  Maybe that is harsh to label myself as unfit since I do regularly do daily stretching and isometric exercises in my home.  OK, I will accept the congrats! for maintaining my regular stretching and isometric exercize program for decades.  The exercizes I do help me to deal with chronic pain associated with lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis.  I have a lot of muscle spasms and nerve pain.  The exercize helps me to feel that I am taking responsibility for what I can control.  The exercize benefits me also because I like to have a scoop of ice cream, and I have diabetes, therefore, exercize keeps the sugar manageable.

Each health situation is different, but so many suffer.  If we take some time to consider our own situation, and start right away to manage our health before more serious problems develop.  Not only can we keep our healthcare costs down, we may feel better.

2.  Relationships:  Relationships affect our peace of mind.  The relationship we have with our creator, with ourself, with our loved ones and if we are employed than we have our social relationships.  Can we improve all these relationships?

The relationship a person has with their creator can affect how they also feel about themselves and how they live their life and the consequences etc.  I have no more to say on that subject.  It is worth considering privately.

The relationship we have with ourself is very complicated indeed.  So much of how we feel about our-self is deeply rooted from our conception, our upbringing, the family situation, the make up of the family dynamics.  Some come from secure family situations, that is very rare these days.  Some of us are very wounded from broken homes, lack of security, an absent parent, and some experience abuse.  All these factors shape us.  Yet, we do not have to be defined permanently by any of these situations.

Earning a healthy esteem is a very valid concept that I have lived by for decades.  We may remain sensitive or fragile.  Yet, I think of a flower that appears to be fragile, sure, someone may be cruel and pull some petals off.  If the flower is left alone, it can even go thru a thunderstorm with high winds and still remain beautiful.  Someone may pull our petals off, but we must remain rooted in what we know and what we can do.  We can bloom again and if necessary, we can be the seed that blows in the wind, and be rooted elsewhere.  The sun, the rain, will come again.  A positive attitude and hope are fortifying.

When I went thru some health dilemmas this last year, the effect had a stifling effect on me.  I felt incapable and unable.  I quit writing, painting, making bread, and sewing became a rarity.  Cleaning the bathroom mirror I wondered if it was done right.  No one was doing this to me, and I cannot blame anyone.  The doctor whom helps me with my life management skills regarding my attention deficit, he helped me to realize that something was rooted in my youth.  He said, “OK, you do not want to blame anyone, you do not want to blame it on something in your youth, mistreatment you endured.  Yet, you do acknowledge you were not in ideal circumstances to grow a healthy esteem, you did not feel safe, and your accomplishments were met with disfavor by those whom should have been proud of you.  If you can accept this, you can move on.  You can find a new way to respond to your accomplishments.”  Of course, I did not have a tape recorder and it may not be a perfect word for word account.  That was the basic jist of it.

To get thru all of this, I kept the habit of making my Master List for the month and the week.  I referred to them often.  A book from the Library on Productivity that I referred to in one of my previous published articles suggested that when I make my TO DO List that I leave room between each to put a couple of actions that are logically needed to accomplish the task.  This really helped me to get more done.  Feel Good Feeling!  My friend Mattie has an infectious cheer about her and giggle.  She is all about giving yourself a cheer when you complete something.  I am trying it, and it feels good.  My husband John likes to stand back and look at what he has done, you can see his pride well up even with the smallest of accomplishments.  I use to look at him in wonder when I would walk up and find him doing so, in fact, because I did not understand it, I thought it was downright silly and it made me a bit uncomfortable.  Over the years, I have slowly come to understand this gift.

Did you know that at the end of each day of creation, our Great Creator would say “It is Good!”.  We are made in his image.  So if we know we worked hard, and we did our best, I believe it is healthy to feel “it is good”!   My relationship with myself is greatly improved, and I am sewing again.  If we can possibly have a healthy esteem, we can then be healthy to be in a relationship with.  Our relationship with our mate, family, children, and work mates can be healthier if we are more positive to be around.  By having a healthier diet and exercise program, a healthy attitude, we can have healthier expectations of others too.  Nurture those relationships respectfully.  Each person is subject to the law, and each person is protected by the law.  If that is remembered, then abuse would be uncommon.

Last night I saw true love.  A couple with their toddler entered the diner  where we were enjoying a meal.  The man was lovingly affectionate and obviously proud of his lady and the child.  He was quite handsome.  She was quite obese and unkempt.  It likely had been a hard day for her.  Yet, this man loved this woman, and she knew it.  I was greatly touched.

3.  Domestic, no I am not talking about domestic beer.  It is where we live, what we drive, and where we spend our time, and how we manage it all.  Half the year is gone, there is some warm weather maintenance we can do on our home, car, and property.  Have you made your punch list?  I want to get into the car and do some deep cleaning, and it is not just because I turned a to-go container of spaghetti upside down in the back seat of the car yesterday.  I was already planning on a thorough detail clean of the interior of the car, now it just seems more immediate to do.  Thankfully, my caring husband got the spaghetti spill cleaned up, but I do feel I need to do that thorough cleaning in the next day or so.  Light colored car, little spots could be anywhere.  This time of year is a great time to clean the garage, and have a garage sale or donate your goods.  Fix your bicycles and use them.  Plan a trip to the zoo, or keep cool in a museum, visit family, or go away for a long weekend.

John got some weatherstripping done on all the doors last week.  Our lovely old yellow cat, PUFF, has already scratched up the new weatherstrip on the front door.  I am going to do a smelly hairspray on the lower door frames after I rub a little essential oils on the weatherstrip.  We still need to get some exterior painting done.  There is a list.  I am eager to get the windows clean.  As I am zeroing in on a room at a time with the deep cleaning,  the last thing I do in the room, the final touch is cleaning all the glass, which includes the windows.  Doesn’t it make everything look good.?

Attention to these three areas can give pretty quick improvement in many areas of our life. We can already feel better about this year and all we hoped to achieve.  We live in a very demanding and often insecure world.  Gently, yet, effectivly gaining more control over our health, relationships, and domestic situation can give us a sense of accomplishment resulting in a healthier esteem.  June may be gone by,…we still have a half year to fulfill our goals.

 

 

 

 

 

Loser! Or Winner? How are you labeled, do you label yourself?

How do you label yourself?  How do others label you?  Should we label ourselves or others with such expectations?  Either we expect too much or we expect the worst.

Growing up, it seems we are labeled at birth to be or not to be.  My natural mother attempted to abort me twice via home methods, and obviously was a failure.  As the welfare department knew before my birth they would have me, there were the worst of expectations.  I was instantly labeled unadoptable.  In my records it states I would have many defects and would always be an expense for the department.

Growing up, there were many surprises, that I was good at structural things, creative things, math, etc.  While I was continually reminded that I was not like others, and I was not capable.   To have goals or plans for the future I was setting myself up for disappointment.

There were health problems, yet, I was a lovely little child wanting love, affection, security and praise.  The foster family whom had me since three weeks of age finally got approval to adopt me.  It was really dad whom wanted me.  I was three an a half when Dad left an moved many states away.  At three an a half, I was very saddened when he just disappeared.  Only finding out this year that he left because she was so violent to the children, including me.  Therefore, I did not feel loved, wanted, secure, or praised.

This is not such a sad tale as it appears.  My teachers really made a difference.  Mother would tell them bla, bla, bla, and I was not capable.  Then the teachers would tell her good about me, and she could not deal with it.  When I was delighten from the rewards of achievements, and the praise of teachers, she happily knocked it out of me later.  But can you really knock it out of a person?

Unsavory people in our lives may not be comfortable with our small or large successes.  What is really wrong with them?  Do we have to be underahievers or flawed for others to feel right or superior?   Some are controlling beasts that have those expectations.

Whether it is the family dynamics that keep us in our place, a mate, or friendship.  Example:   “She is the lovely one an I am the fat one”. ” She is organized an I am the messup”.  Does the apparrent winner need a few losers in their life so they can bask in the position they have placed themselves in.  An aquaintance came over an spent a couple hours talking continously about all her achievements.  I praised her as I was very impressed with her hunting, fishing, an outdoor activities.  Finally later I mentioned that I sew some, an I showed her my most unorganized yet interesting workroom  with projects on maniquins an forms.  She was looking, seemingly impressed, then she suddenly said self assaulting words an phrases such as, “I am so dumb, I do not  know how to do that. I am so stupid an useless, …” About herself.  The discomfort caused me to feel regret showing her.  It appeared to me that if she was the only capable one at anything she was happy in this belief, but she couldn’t stand us both being capable.  This would be an unhealthy relationship if I let it develop.

Friends an loved ones support each other as we make decisions that better our lives or persons.  If you start getting daily exercize an get in better shape an become healthier, family members an friends are happy for you.  Or you start keeping your car really clean an clean up your home, these are positive changes you an those whom love you can appreciate.  You do not have to be the “fat one”, “lazy one”, “messy one”, “shy one”, we can make the adjustments to be whatever we want to be.

There are people in our lives that are superior at many things, we can almost feel inferior if we are not careful.  It is a bad habit to look at others an try to determine whom is a loser an whom is a winner.  We might even do it to our own children an label them.  We inhibit others when we put expectations on them.  Some have others expecting too much an then they get involved with all sorts of downfalls because they could not take the pressure of perfectionism and too high expectations.

Some do not expect enough of themselves an their life performance in such important areas as relationships, work, health an fitness, personal organization an habits, an money, they do fail.  This can be because of a lack of parental training, low esteem, or healthy habits.

The point of this article is that no one knows you like our Great Creator Jehovah and his son.  We can make adjustments in our life, habits, thoughts and attitudes.  It takes so long to truly know another, and never completely so.  We are a mystery to ourselves.  Imagine your better self, and then determine what is the next action to take to meet that change.  Finishing what I start fearlessly is what I am working on.  I am enjoying the rewards of that.

 

February, Is this Leap Year? I am a day late. We have eleven Months to live fabulously.

We are already in the second month of 2016, and we have eleven months to get into the practice of living Fabulously despite.

The sad fact is all endure something.  Employment, family, friendships, health, fitness, financial, are all things that affect our attitude and outlook.  Things occur that we have no control over, tragedies can happen to anyone and do.  Thankfully, some or most of these things can be short in duration in comparison to our whole life.  Yet, this does not cure the present devastation or to minimize overall long-term loss.  I am sad for anyone that is suffering.  May your prayers be answered and that you receive comfort.

The Good News is that there is much we can control.  As you realize, this blog is named fatfitanfab.com.  Sometimes, we cannot control being fat, or other things.  We are in control of more than we realize.  We can be mentally and physically fit as we practice routines and habits that will result in us being fab.

This year, we will consider and practice many things that will add joy to our lives and to those around us.  Check back to fatfitanfab.com often to learn along with me.

I have been working on my goal of walking at least five times a week.  As I have been dealing with a serious infection and inflammation of my left calf and lower leg for a few weeks, I do not feel well.  Yet, although last week I went five days without a walk, I am on track again.  I have gone for a walk the last three days.  At this time, I am only cooking, doing laundry, and picking up after my self.  This infection has to do with the lupus and rheumatoid I endure.  The fevers are grueling and the antibiotics cause me to feel I must stay close to home.   It is a surprise I am not knitting as I am sitting, elevating the legs.  Just do not feel like it when everything hurts.  I loved the movie about Toni Braxton whom also suffers Lupus.  Seeing that really helped me to understand how I am at times, and now I will not feel so ashamed of feeling that way.

Friends have been a source of encouragement.  I appreciate the visitors whom share such uplifting things.  Friends stopped by this morning and it was great visiting with them.

What are you looking forward to?  I am looking forward to my flowers coming up and I am planning my garden.    My friends do sewing challenges with me.  You would think I like to sew.  It is exciting picking the fabric, style, and making it.  I am not adept with most things, and if you remember one of my first articles “Toil, Toil, and it has all gone to Pots”.  I still have all kinds of discouraging mishaps that I call ‘Hold Ups’.

How come I feel Fabulous despite all this going on?  I must tell you the truth, I get down about things I cannot change.  There are times I am overwhelmed and feel I will never get a mastery of My Life Management Skills.  I am happy and I feel fabulous because I am learning the practice of a rewarding life.   Routines and Habits make a difference.   This year I have already lost ten pounds, and 15 since October of 2015.  Now that I am on thyroid medicine it seems a bit easier to lose.  That is something to celebrate.   I finally sewed the buttonholes on my Suit Jacket I made for the convention last month.  A sewing machine my friend loaned me worked.  Yae!  The meals have been delicious.  Do you like to cook?  Think about, Are there new aspects to cooking you would like to incorporate, like making salads a few times a week to go with your meals?  I feel fabulous because as long as we can plan, we live to plan and we plan to live.  While we live, we must plan.  A friend said to me a couple weeks ago, What projects are you working on now? As long as I have known you, you have had projects going on.  She is right.  I likely crossed my eyes at her because I could not help but think of all the projects I did not complete.  I will not think about that, because I have been practicing finishing projects and I have finished so many it just feels Fab.

One goal I have for Feb is Food Conservation.  That will be in my next article.  What goals do you have?  A positive attitude is another goal.  My friend Mattie said to me on Monday to give yourself a little cheer after you complete something, a real feel good event.  So after I washed a load of laundry and put away, I said, Good Job! Well done!  After my walk I did another Cheer.  My friend Mattie is a super influence on me.  Whom says cheering is only for a football game.  Let us cheer each other on and ourselves.