Marcia K. Rydin

A Successful Woman

Marcia K. Rydin was an accomplished woman.  A Very independent woman whom achieved wherever she wanted to achieve.

First, let me inform the reader, I am not an authority on Marcia K. Rydin.  Only knowing Marcia about 16 years, knowing someone when they are 85 and older is not knowing them in their prime.  I can only relay a few things and only want to talk about what I know.  Please forgive me if anything is inaccurate.

Marcia was born in July of 1917.  And had she lived a few more months would have been 102 years old.  I miss Marcia and think about her so much.  I want to write about her yet, not any form of biography etc.  just a note about what she mentioned to me.

Her parents immigrated here from Europe.  Marcia’s father was good at a variety of things.  Marcia’s mother was very artistic. She was a hat Milner and a seamstress, she could do anything.  Franciska raised her two daughters to do anything that came to their mind.

They resided in Chicago, imagine the depression, food rationing, the prohibition, and the wars.  Hard times they knew well and took in stride like everyone else had to do at the time.  They were innovative in the variety of things they would and could do just to care for their family responsibilities.  Franciska even had borders, rooms she rented out.  Marcia said one of the borders behaved indecently towards her and her mother immediately kicked him out.  Good mother!

Everyone dressed with esteem and always seemed to wear a hat.  Habits domestically and  thriftyness seemed second nature

Marcia grew up in a time where manners were still a part of you.  A strict disapline, how you stood, sat, walked, talked, dressed, table manners, and learning an art( singing, dancing, riding, sewing, needlework, playing the piano etc.).  I believe such disciplines were a gift of esteem.  What is wrong with the world we live in?  Would we all get kicked out of the dining room for not minding our manners?!  What dining room! What manners!  It is nice, many try to inculcate these into their children, yet, most do not which makes it hard for those that do.  Yet, it is an investment in our children to have an exercise in those disciplines so they can become healthy responsible adults.  A rare breed indeed!  As Marcia was a real go getter she created a host of memories and accomplishments to consider when she felt the effects of age set in.

When Marcia was a little child pitching a fit her mother said, “there goes Marcia”!, and there she went the rest of her life.

It still is not easy to write this and there is a certain stress I feel regarding accuracy.  So, I cannot write about her life.  She talked with me about these things and they were quite enjoyable to learn about.  This article is not a family history etc.  This is just a small tribute regarding Marcia and the life she lived.  This is not an biography of any sort.

Marcia loved to shop the fine department stores in Chicago.  She loved to dress nice and she even sewed herself many things over the years.  Somehow she would get tags from some of these department stores and she would sew up things an attach these tags.  I was really amazed by this.  One of these department stores had a floor they sold fabric and tags as well.  Her sewing was perfectly executed.

The theatre, museums, and music Marcia really enjoyed.  A walk down lakeshore drive was an experience she treasured.

Marcia was married to Carl Rydin and they had three sons together.  Marcia’s mother Franciska lived with them and helped raise the boys.  When Marcia had her first son John, she would take him in his buggy an walk down Lakeshore drive daily.  Another thing she mentioned was that she gave John head to toe massages everyday.  Marcia’s attitude was when he cried, let him cry it out.  The neighbors would complain so much because John could holler and it was a war of wills.  She loved her three sons, John, Jimmie, and Richard.  She generously tried to equip them to be self reliant.

When the boys were grown, Marcia decided to relocate to Alabama to be near her sister. In time Marcia bought a little house on some acreage and fixed it up.  She had a horse and rode her horse everyday before work.  She did additions to her home and loved to plant a variety of plants, shrubs and trees.  We loved to go to plant shows together.

Marcia enjoyed her work in the secretarial field. She had an air of authority.  Even at the end of her life she wanted things written, she wanted things done, she loved trying to get things going with the lawyers, can’t we go here, can’t we do this and she felt we could just do these things ourself.

When she lived in Illinois, as a young woman looking for work in the war years it was difficult.  There was a long line you stood in and everyday you went back an stood in the line hoping to be picked.  When she was picked she would say she could do this or that, even if she couldn’t.  Once she was found out, she said that she would be threatened with dismissal.  She was a fast learner and aggressively pursued through education and opportunity whatever she needed to know to get ahead and stand on her own.

Throughout her life, this strength was one of her greatest and worst qualities.  I believe she lived as long as she did due to this inner strength and determination.  Marcia was disciplined with her routines and was a real timekeeper.  She checked her watch all her life.  Always knowing where she should be an what she should be doing.  Being oblivious to time, I was a real study for her.  I learned a lot from her.  There are many things I miss about her.   It was not a perfect situation nor do I want to present it that way.  Yet, we had so many good times together that I value.

Marcia loved my cooking, when here for visits she would say, “where are my scones?!”  Off to the kitchen we would go so I could make a batch of scones.

She loved cooking with me. We had such fun in the kitchen.

Marcia knit this in the 1970’s An it was a mohair blanket kit. I attached a soft piece of fleece to the back for this to be a lap throw for her. She loved seeing her work turned into something useful.

I miss our cooking together.

She lived with John an I approximately the last seven months of her life.  We put her in the middle of the house.  She was near our room so we could hear her at night and we wanted her to be near the bathroom.  We also did not want her stuffed in a room isolated and lonely.  She had confided that she suffered loneliness most her life.  And the last decade was the most painful for her.  This saddened us because we felt prohibited from visiting her as much as we would have liked when she lived in her home.  Other parties did not make visiting comfortable.  Therefore, we just did not want her to feel alone at any point.  We never left her alone.  Either we took her everywhere, or one of us stayed here with her or we would get someone she and we knew to come visit with her so we could go.  We have company often and she really enjoyed the interaction.  While she was here our friend from China came for two weeks.  Then our friends from Maine came for a visit.  Then our friends from Florida came An we had a big cookout.  She just loved all the interaction.    She had friends whom she knew a long time that stopped in an visited.  Her priest came by and he was kind and considerate.  The hospice staff helped me keep it together as I was not experienced and lacked confidence.  Her son Richard came by and spent time with her.

It was not a perfect situation because being dependent was not anything she cared for.  We have not been caregivers before so we all had to learn together.  My husband had already been ill before she died and he continued having strokes so he was in a hospital rehab facility the last couple weeks before she died.  Being here and being there for my husband was a real stretch as I did not feel well.  Our friends were here everyday for us.  And our sons helped out any way they could.  The youngest, Brent with his wife Brittteny came to stay a few weeks to help as well.  What a comfort and support that was!  At some point I felt I lost my marbles and cried inappropriately and laughed inappropriately.  During her short stay with us, always eventful.  I fall often due to low blood pressure.  Surgery to repair tendon and screw my big toe back together was painful and hard to go thru.  One of the times I stubbed my toe an fell I cried like a baby even hyperventilating.  She petted my hair and comforted me w a tenderness I had not seen in her before.  One time I was overwhelmed and distressed she chastised me “talk to Jehovah and place your faith in him”.  She cheered me up.  My God Jehovah helped me persevere and provided our friends day an night to get thru these times.  John did come home a couple weeks later after she went to sleep in death.  As his needs have changed we are changing too.  Our life is busy and complicated, yet we have many blessings.

We loved to do projects together over the years.  Marcia loved the sewing projects.  We would get a t shirt and use it against a piece of knit fabric and make a pattern the way we liked.  I would cut an sew as we would sit in my messy sewing room.  Marcia wore the garments with pride because we made them together.  She loved to give direction, and I although an experienced sewer too, loved the opportunity to consider something new.  We learned from each other.

Marcia had grandchildren she enjoyed when they were young.  It grieved her none were around in The last few decades of her life.  She felt forgotten and the emotional pain of being alone really got to her at times.

Marcia was a woman of faith.  She loved the creator Jehovah and his son Jesus.  About two weeks before she died she started crying, something rare for her.  She said “Jehovah proved the priests wrong.”   I was amazed.  She loved those she interacted with but her faith had changed.  She said if she was young again her choices would be different.  I thought that was humble and sweet of her.

Ahead of her times, fiercely independent, Marcia was a real survivor.  Marcia whom is sleeping now in God’s memory, she will be awakened from death and enjoy perfect health an youthfulness as she is reunited with all those she knew and loved.  Mathew 6:10, Revelation 21:4,5.  Psalm 37:9-11,29.  At the end she was happy to know this hope an understand it.  It gave her comfort in her last months.  I believed that was really why she came to us.  She died this year, 2019.  And I felt she was content and ready.  I wish I had known her decades ago when I needed a worthy woman to look up to an learn from.

Luxurious Living

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Living in the Lap of luxury was a common phrase generations ago.  Is this something people do?  Is this truly prosperous and satisfying?  How can we live in a prosperous and satisfying manner?  We will seek to answer these questions.  The answers may make a positive change in a person’s life.  Please consider…

Throughout history man has been in search of more.  Some whom have a lot want more.  Some whom have little are satisfied and why?  There are always times of plenty and times of famine.

Think of times when food was rationed, could it happen again?  Is it always some far off place?  If a person has plenty, why should they worry about this?

In some places in the world a person can go buy what they want or think they need.    Getting the vehicles, homes, clothes, beauty treatments, vacations, etc…and fritter money here and there without much thought .  Then they do more, buy more, and more is never enough, not recognizing situations change.  The money may not always be there.  Most people do not feel the need to worry about it.  But should we consider our circumstances?

We never expected our situation to change so dramatically.  It can change on a dime is also an old phrase.  I personally know this is true.  Our situation has changed.  I wish I had thought about all this sooner.

Personally I have never been into the beauty treatments and getting nails done. I kinda like being a plain Gina.  It is Good not having to worry about being a diva or beauty queen.  Being ordinary takes the pressure off.  I get my hair trimmed or cut twice a year and trim it the rest of the time myself.  My hair is a blaa blond, and when I am outside it brightens up some.  I dream of cutting it a shoulder length and dying it a dark red.  The only deterrent is being a slave to roots.  I do not do well with chemicals so I just continue as it is anyway.

Doing my own fingernails and eyebrows helps too.  I wouldn’t win any awards for the outcome.

I do not smoke or gamble and rarely have a glass of wine so that really cuts down on expenditure.  Imagine the money that literally goes up in smoke for some.  My mother spent so much money on her cigarettes when I was growing up.  One time when I was a young teenage girl I figured out how much she spent in a month on her cigarettes and I mentioned this to her.  She hauled off and slapped my face.  I never figured out whom was in the wrong with that one.  I just remember her being on the phone saying she needed money for the power bill.

I use to love going to thrift stores and yard sales.  But it really cost me a lot of money and I was dragging stuff in the house.  I had to put a stop on that.

Do you like clothes?  I love clothes and shoes.  I fall in love with clothes all the time and I always see the need.  Yet, my closets are bursting at the seams.  If I got rid of some of the less best garments I might be one of the best dressed women of our generation.  What generation?  This one of luxuriant living is what I refer to.

We love eating out, yet, we have cut back on this.  We still do eat out sometimes.  It costs so much more than it use to.  Like a days wages if you think about it.  Something else to consider: It is just, when I was young, the tips for your server were usually 10%, then later it went up to 15%, then 18%, now it is 20%.  Sometimes the tip is so big it is like paying for another meal, for the invisible person. It is almost painful.  The knowledge that the waiter may be emotionally hurt if they do not get the 20% is something that keeps us pigeonholed into this.  They really rely on this income.   The other problem is that they may not even receive all of their tip if paid w a credit card depending on the establishment.  How can I support this big game when the cost of the meal could really buy a couple bags of groceries or fill a gas tank?  What is balance?  That, each man or woman or family must figure out.  Try looking at a month, compare to another month.  Start keeping track.  This does not mean we cannot go out to eat.  Just, how often…might be considered.

Junk food,  what is that?  It happens to us, going to the store hungry, our cart is always fuller.  A drive thru happy meal would be more economical.

Just the requirements of daily life have snuck up in costs.  And it seems what previously was considered a luxury decades ago, cable tv, Internet, cell phones, not everyone had them.  We always seemed to be the last to get them.  The latest, the greatest, and speed seem to be a factor.

The utility bills have come up and take out a chunk of change.

I feel bad for many children being raised to think that this is normal.  They are unhappy always wanting more, always wanting newer, competing with their peers.  The status symbol, and their esteems are built on a slippery slope.  Parents are begged and bullied into getting their children expensive phones etc.   The assumptions by children that they can expect their parents to provide all this and so much more.  Most cannot afford but quietly, stressfully, helplessly go along which creates unrealistic expectations.

We are truly trapped it seems.  Can we say No!!!.?   Where are the boundaries?  Can adjustments be made?  How can I create satisfying boundaries in my life?

In high school we had an Independant Living class.  We looked at a potential monthly budget based on a basic wage.  Then we subtracted the rent for home, the utilities and insurances, and fuel, then we knew what we had for groceries.  We then could see what was left and we put a percentage of that in a savings account.

The times we live in are really more expensive when we add it up.

Remember a game of chess, or a board game and the fun we had.  How about the woodworking, sewing, knitting, embroidery, cooking and baking?  A hobby was very satisfying and earned you a real esteem.  A child proud of a picture they drew is a real event.  Sadly, many are more proud of their scores playing their games on their phone.

People have many vices in search of something, it breaks up families, and leaves people broke and depleted.

Slow down, calm down, recollect, reconnect, reconsider, appreciate, make new boundaries, stress less, be satisfied sooner, reassess needs.  Save yourself, save your family.  Hebrews 13:5,6 says:  Let your way of life be free of the love of money, while you are content with the present things.  For he has said: “I will never leave you, and I will never abandon you.”  So that we may be of good courage and say:”Jehovah is my helper; I will not be afraid… “  please read the whole chapter of Hebrews 13. It shows us how we can live a better life.

Changing things up here financially is helping. Yet, it has not been soon enough.  We still feel the stress of the heavy load we unwittingly created.  The scriptures admonish us to “live within our means”.  Inflated needs which are built on an imaginary lifestyle.  Needs the world around us makes us believe are normal.  The scriptures talk about us being satisfied with our daily needs being met.  Figuring this out can be a rewarding challenge.  In the last three years I have quit using three department store credit cards.  Three other credit cards I no longer use.  I am down to two credit cards and I am working on using them less.  It really is making me happy.  It still seems our credit/debt/income ratio is off balance.  This makes me really uncomfortable.  When we consider what this really is and how this affects so many aspects of our lives, it is rewarding to make an adjustment.  We still have a long way to go and more adjustments to make.  It seemed we were blind to boundaries we should have had.  And financial situations change in many ways, the world scene, the country we might live in, the income, health,  living expenses, job security, all are temporary.

How often do you say no to yourself?.   I do not say no as often as I like but I do say no more often than I use to.  It feels good.  A small measure of control.

Luxurious living is living within our means while having joyful interactions with those we love.  Cooking together, going to the park, enjoying creation, gardening, building something or sewing a garment are also rewarding activities.  Really living a life with a positive outcome in view.

Written by:  Gina Rydin  (the photo is a dinner my husband and I prepared together, leftover spaghetti baked, sautéed asperity Gus   And avacado)  that was a nice luxurious evening.

Altogether untogether, do you ever feel this way?

At times, life’s responsibilities are so overwhelming it is hard to remember whom we are and what we like to do.

We try so hard to keep it together, then it is so easy to land onto the couch and watch an episode of Gunsmoke or something.  Yet, is it becoming our thing, our habit to drop and chill?  Is there any other way to reconnect with the joy of living the life?

My Dear mother in law is living with us.  She is 101 years old.  Overall it is going fine.  My husband nor I feel well and it makes everything so challenging.

Thankfully, she does not complain much and goes with the flow.

A friend makes pound cakes and shares by showing up at bad times and gives these to encourage others.  Although it has been a couple years and she is going thru so much herself.  I believe she deserves some pound cakes.  I asked Lisa to share her recipe and she did.  I know there are thousands of poundcake recipes online, but there is nothing like one shared by a friend you know to be good.  I brought Marcia into the kitchen and we visited as I put the cake together.  It was a nice experience and it turned out well.  This afternoon Marcia looked at me and said, where is this cake we baked?!  So I brought her a big piece and she liked it.  Which of course made me very happy.

Today, I just wanted to be in bed.  Everything hurts and I am tired.  This week there has been plans to teach a young lady how to sew pillows an insert the forms.  Her mother and she picked out many nice fabrics at a fabric store and pillow forms.  Marcia enjoyed watching us girls measure, cut and sew.  All turned out fine and it was a joy.   Her mother gave me some of the lovely fabrics.  What a treat!

When I plan time w others I have to think ahead for the meals to avoid temptations of eating out.  Our middle son Brock gave me a rice cooker so tonight I dropped in frozen chopped Peppers an onions, a couple packages of jumbulia ricean beans, Conecka sausage, chicken broth and pinto beans and just let it cook itself in this rice cooker   It turned out very well with minimal effort.   When your just tired it makes you happy when things turn out well.

We made an agreement this week to really watch how we spend and that we want to live on the leaner side.  We do not always recognize how easily we live in a luxurious manner.  We meaning anyone.  We want to pay off any debt and live within our means more closely.  Circumstances change and are we really prepared for them?

My friend Vickie, her husband is dealing with extreme health issues, she has a special needs son besides.  Vickie has always managed to keep her home together, help others and go for walks.  We were talking tonight and reminding each other of the importance of having little things you like to do.  Making time to do these activities.   Vickie is accepting help from others to take her husband for his treatments.  It is humble of her to accept the help because he and she has been good to so many over the years.  He gains encouragement from spending time with others and experiencing their care for him.

A family we cherish in the Panama City, Florida area that was affected by the hurricane expressed today that they are just longing for some normalcy.  We really were designed to have routines and steady circumstances.  Our creator designed us to be stable and that is what we yearn for.  When our world is upside down we are too!  They will be coming for a brief visit in a couple weeks and we look forward to it.

I am taking a course with the Tidy Tudor.  It is very enjoyable.  About good habits and ways of thinking that affect our life in a more healthful manner.  I am not naturally organized and would like to be.  Kathy Roberts is very motivating with a new step each day or concept to consider.

Right now the house seems a mess and it has only been six days that I finally got a shot to settle my asthma down.   I am not up to par.  My husband and I neaten up and Vaccume before bed because we like it looking nice when we get up.   Somehow, it gets totally destroyed each day, I do not know how it happens.

Three points to get out of all my jibber jabber.

  1.  Remember some activity you always enjoyed doing and include that in your life.  Whether it be working out, dancing, tennis, woodworking, needlework, gardening or baking etc.  make the time for it.  It is important!  Even Daily Bible Reading  is considered to be the most valuable of activities to include in our life.  I know making the time for it makes a difference in my outlook and attitude.
  2. Include people in your life no matter how crazy your life seems.  People help keep our perspective healthful.  I enjoy company, such a boost!
  3. Habits and routines are sanity keepers.  If it is difficult to get on track, ask for help or take a mini course.  Tap into our reset button and just do the basics until recovery is bestowed on us.  Choose something from each of the three on the list and see if it does not help a little.

Our lives are always changing and we must adjust or we can break under the pressure.

Written by:  Gina Rydin of fatfitanfab.com

Interests Consume Me!

How interesting are you?  Oh, I should say what interests you? Or may I say, what interests do you Pursue?  What interests do you put off?  I have a bad habit of imaging a better time.  It is common to wait for more favorable circumstances.  What do you just dream about?  How do you spend your free time?

You would likely like me to answer my own questions. It is only right that I offer it up and maybe it will bring us all to some worthy conclusions.

I have many interests.  Many seem impossible or difficult to pursue.  To far away, no one to take me, too expensive, no one else wants to go.  A museum or a historic home walk are just a few.

Dealing with Chronic Illness causes me to want more favorable circumstances like, when I feel better or have some energy.  Is that a false positive?  Time and opportunity evade me.

The cost of putting off is that our esteem goes up and away like smoke.  We can feel angry at ourselves and be self critical.  Some days I feel anxious and sad because I did not get near to meeting my own expectations.

Unreasonable expectations are common among all.  Yet, unreasonable or not, striving to meet a goal accomplishes more than if we did not try to meet a goal.  This can elate us if we look at it correctly.

I prayerfully tried to imagine a generic day that included some basic routines practiced daily that could make my life more fulfilling.  It worked overall well.

I want to try it again to see, let’s say, I would like to practice it ten days and see how it goes.

Today, I cannot do a thing on my schedule.  I burned my hands and foot on a lightbox yesterday.  Also, later I had picked up a pot and hundreds of ants came out and got me.  On benydral, and using ice packs which are keeping me in a rather inactive state.  Decided it was a good time to finish this article I started a couple weeks ago.

A couple weeks ago I was so excited when I started this article. My delay in finishing it means I have lost all those thoughts and feelings that fueled my motivation.  Now, I have to contemplate where I wanted to go with this exciting subject.

Too many health problems and complications interphere.  You might understand.  For instance,  they did a heart cath almost a month ago. Two weeks later suffering fevers and fatigue and swelling at the spot of entry on my wrist I showed them at the cardiologist.  They were nice and all, not too concerned to get a culture and were just going to start antibiotics.  I told them my doctor would do the culture and has before, no problem.  They set my appointment up with the physician’s assistant for the next day.  During the night my abscess erupted and I was worried they would not get their culture.  Although fatigued, nautiousness with a fever and in bed til it was time to go to my appointment at 1:00 pm.  I wanted to stay in bed and not get up.  I went to my appointment.  The physician’s assistant refused to examine me and accused me of opening it myself.  I pushed my fingers nearby the area so she could see how swollen my wrist was.  She said “Do not do that and get your nails away from there”. I responded that my nails were not touching me and that I needed her to see I was still swollen and needed a culture done.  And as I expressed to her how sick I have been and the fevers she challenged me and said “are they greater than 101.5”?  I told her “what did I bother coming in here for, your accomplishing embarrassing me and helping me to feel totally stupid wasting my time”.  When my husband picked me up and I told him what happened he immediately took me to urgent care.  They took me right in, a doctor there did not hesitate to culture it and was shocked at how much pus and fluid came out.  He started me on antiobotics and he discovered I also have a urinary tract infection and a yeast infection.  He said you have plenty of reasons for feeling bad.  Get some rest.  I was amazed at how unprofessional and disrespectful the woman was and how professional and human the male doctor was.  Time and expense with running around.  If she had done her job I would not have had to go to the urgent care.   Didn’T I previously write about unnecessary complications in my article “Toil Toil”?

All that happened since I started this article.  Yesterday trying my perfect routine is when I burned my hands doing one of those items and got bit by ants doing the other.  Could be discouraging but it is not because I am happy that I stayed on my list.  Although I cried.

Today, being In this condition is detouring my efforts to accomplish anything.  That is fine.  This is life.  Try, try, and try again.

I have many interests and limiting them helps me to accomplish more in my favorite activities.  I love to design jewelry yet, making the space to do the craft, the expense for the tools and the costs of always being on the lookout for sales etc would clutter my life in more ways than I could feel rewarded by.   If I have the compulsion to design a certain piece for a certain outfit than I buy the materials and lay out the design and ask a friend to assemble it for me and they can keep what is left and have some compensation for their good craftsmanship as well.  They feel validated too.

If you want something to talk about then be involved with something.  A couple of my friends sew and we love discussing our projects and encouraging each other to finish something.  Spurring each other on.  A couple of my friends like to garden and although I am a lousy gardener it is always fun discussing and planning.  Checking with them about what they have growing in their garden.  If I might have something doing well it makes me happy.

I believe conversation comes easy when there are things to talk about.  Good, positive and upbuilding things the Bible encourages.  That is the best thing to talk about of course.  What could be more interesting than learning our creator plans to restore paradise right here on earth with peace worldwide and only those complying can enjoy life without end.  There is a free Bible study course on jw.org.

Despite problems, we can have healthful interests and pursuits that bring joy and satisfaction.  Start now.

Author, Gina Rydin of fatfitanfab.com

 

 

Friends make life more tolerable and bring joy.

Friendships definately stimulate joy in our lives.  How do we make friends in the cyber world?  How about an old fashioned face to face contact, conversations and good times.

Loniliness is an actual problem for many. Life’s responsibilities keep most so busy they only have time to carry out their domestic duties and get rest when the next day presents the same.

Of course some are very shy and do not know how to get the conversation ball rolling and keep it rolling and for how long.

With good things there are always limits, boundaries, and rules of respect.

Imagine if one friend works and has children she is definately going to have less time then an older semi-retired person with no children.  So if you want to visit with her, invite them all over and have a meal ready with no requirements of her.  Understand children have bedtimes, homework, and she may still have washing to do for the week.  Do not be hurt that she must leave so soon?  You did help and your friendship means a lot.

I love spending time with my friends.  My friend Susan made lovely cards and has organized an old fashioned tea party on Sunday afternoon.  Exciting.

My friend Danielle and her daughter are learning how to sew from me and are progressing quite well. We love spending time together while being productive.  We are all learning new things.

Valerie is teaching me how to Garden, she is amazing.  I kinda get out of the way, she moves fast and confidently as I hang around wanting to help and I am not useful.  She has taught me so much and the garden is lovely. We have good times together talking and laughing.  Her household goes to bed early so although we could hang out til they kick us out or make another bed, we strive to be considerate and leave not too later than their usual bedtime.  😂

I do not like to ask people how they are because it is an unfair question.  The rule of thumb is to smile and say good or fine while you may be dying inside.

I like to ask what a person has coming up next week, or did they recently do anything enjoyable.   Last evening I asked Danielle if she had anything fun coming up?  She said she and her husband, son and daughter were going to an dinasaur exhibit.  I think that is so exciting.  I look forward to our conversation after they have experienced this.

We must be more interesting than the internet.  Instead of watching movies, playing games on phone, internet cruising, and such.  Learn to live your life!  Be the heroine of your own story instead of passively letting it pass you by.  Imagine how many hours are wasted on the internet or television.  Add them up if you dare.  Time runs out of the day, week, months and years. Yes, our life can passively pass us by.

By doing activities, we become interesting.  For instance, I finally lost a couple pounds, only a couple.  It was enough to wear my floral linen dress   I wore it and was happy for a little bit, until I realized the side splits came up half my thigh.  As soon as I got home I got my box of grommets out and while talking to my almost 26 year old son, Brock is my middle son which always has it’s advantages, and my husband.  The unusual course of things is they think I do not know how to do things   They cannot resist taking over and have great fun doing it.  So he took everything from me and now he was setting the grommets into my dress side slits where I had marked   When he was nearing finish He said, “as usual mom, you start things you do not know how to do, good thing I came around”, and he has one eyebrow up for emphasis.  It took everything to keep from laughing hysterically.   I then said to John, my husband, “how come you did not say it was your turn to set some grommets like when I made my striped bag you too fought over your turns like little children?!”.  He just looked at me as I giggled about the both of them.   If I want to set the grommets, I have to take my things and hide under a tree.  Yet, these men, my husband and sons create such entertainment I think This is truly called living.  Being involved in activities together.  Oh,  my dress looks cute with the shoe lace look, I used embroidery threads and put beads on.

I asked my husband what was one thing he noticed and liked about me.  His reply was, “you were always doing something, and no matter what was going on with you or around you, you were always so chipper and happy”.  I thought that was great because that is how I am.

Quit reading about others so much, live a life worth writing about in your own journal.  Write down something positive someone said to you, or a good outcome of something you worried about.  I like to combine my journal with my calendar and master lists for weeks and months so my accomplishments and direction or focus is all together in one place.  I am thru trying to buy journals and calendars.  There are none perfect and they run out of months.  Living my life includes making a personal everlasting journal/calendar/masterlist binder I can add to an take away from all I like.

Set up your challenge and stick to it.  Mine is Daily Bible reading, daily practice of simplified domestic schedule, sewing, gardening and painting regularly.  Oh, do not forget hospitality.  Invite ones to meet for coffee, or to library for a book on a place you want to vacation.  Greece or Peru, I cannot afford to go but I can plan my ideal trip anyway and pray about it.

The point is, Be your own friend first, go to museums, concerts, learn to dance, learn a hobby, fill your time with wholesome activities.  Friends will naturally come in time.  We are not desperate for friends, that makes us vulnerable and stupid.  Be discerning and do not immediately befriend anyone.   Do not drop your life story on anyone the first few times you meet and do not feel the need to pull personal information from them.  It all comes in time.  If someone has undesirable traits that concern you, gently mention it and give them the benefit of doubt.  Yet, we have no right over others.  Their choices are their own to make.  I like to show from the Bible how God, Jehovah and his son, Jesus feel about the matter.  This way it is not my opinion or preference.  People are not perfect and I am far from perfect.  Allow people to be themselves.  Sometimes friends come and go.  Yet, some will stick with you through the years.

Living our life, being God’s friend, our own friend, a friend to our family, and others will freely draw near and it is a delightful journey.

Now, my domestics need attention, then I will stop an sew or paint later this afternoon.  Live! Live! Today.