Friends make life more tolerable and bring joy.

Friendships definately stimulate joy in our lives.  How do we make friends in the cyber world?  How about an old fashioned face to face contact, conversations and good times.

Loniliness is an actual problem for many. Life’s responsibilities keep most so busy they only have time to carry out their domestic duties and get rest when the next day presents the same.

Of course some are very shy and do not know how to get the conversation ball rolling and keep it rolling and for how long.

With good things there are always limits, boundaries, and rules of respect.

Imagine if one friend works and has children she is definately going to have less time then an older semi-retired person with no children.  So if you want to visit with her, invite them all over and have a meal ready with no requirements of her.  Understand children have bedtimes, homework, and she may still have washing to do for the week.  Do not be hurt that she must leave so soon?  You did help and your friendship means a lot.

I love spending time with my friends.  My friend Susan made lovely cards and has organized an old fashioned tea party on Sunday afternoon.  Exciting.

My friend Danielle and her daughter are learning how to sew from me and are progressing quite well. We love spending time together while being productive.  We are all learning new things.

Valerie is teaching me how to Garden, she is amazing.  I kinda get out of the way, she moves fast and confidently as I hang around wanting to help and I am not useful.  She has taught me so much and the garden is lovely. We have good times together talking and laughing.  Her household goes to bed early so although we could hang out til they kick us out or make another bed, we strive to be considerate and leave not too later than their usual bedtime.  😂

I do not like to ask people how they are because it is an unfair question.  The rule of thumb is to smile and say good or fine while you may be dying inside.

I like to ask what a person has coming up next week, or did they recently do anything enjoyable.   Last evening I asked Danielle if she had anything fun coming up?  She said she and her husband, son and daughter were going to an dinasaur exhibit.  I think that is so exciting.  I look forward to our conversation after they have experienced this.

We must be more interesting than the internet.  Instead of watching movies, playing games on phone, internet cruising, and such.  Learn to live your life!  Be the heroine of your own story instead of passively letting it pass you by.  Imagine how many hours are wasted on the internet or television.  Add them up if you dare.  Time runs out of the day, week, months and years. Yes, our life can passively pass us by.

By doing activities, we become interesting.  For instance, I finally lost a couple pounds, only a couple.  It was enough to wear my floral linen dress   I wore it and was happy for a little bit, until I realized the side splits came up half my thigh.  As soon as I got home I got my box of grommets out and while talking to my almost 26 year old son, Brock is my middle son which always has it’s advantages, and my husband.  The unusual course of things is they think I do not know how to do things   They cannot resist taking over and have great fun doing it.  So he took everything from me and now he was setting the grommets into my dress side slits where I had marked   When he was nearing finish He said, “as usual mom, you start things you do not know how to do, good thing I came around”, and he has one eyebrow up for emphasis.  It took everything to keep from laughing hysterically.   I then said to John, my husband, “how come you did not say it was your turn to set some grommets like when I made my striped bag you too fought over your turns like little children?!”.  He just looked at me as I giggled about the both of them.   If I want to set the grommets, I have to take my things and hide under a tree.  Yet, these men, my husband and sons create such entertainment I think This is truly called living.  Being involved in activities together.  Oh,  my dress looks cute with the shoe lace look, I used embroidery threads and put beads on.

I asked my husband what was one thing he noticed and liked about me.  His reply was, “you were always doing something, and no matter what was going on with you or around you, you were always so chipper and happy”.  I thought that was great because that is how I am.

Quit reading about others so much, live a life worth writing about in your own journal.  Write down something positive someone said to you, or a good outcome of something you worried about.  I like to combine my journal with my calendar and master lists for weeks and months so my accomplishments and direction or focus is all together in one place.  I am thru trying to buy journals and calendars.  There are none perfect and they run out of months.  Living my life includes making a personal everlasting journal/calendar/masterlist binder I can add to an take away from all I like.

Set up your challenge and stick to it.  Mine is Daily Bible reading, daily practice of simplified domestic schedule, sewing, gardening and painting regularly.  Oh, do not forget hospitality.  Invite ones to meet for coffee, or to library for a book on a place you want to vacation.  Greece or Peru, I cannot afford to go but I can plan my ideal trip anyway and pray about it.

The point is, Be your own friend first, go to museums, concerts, learn to dance, learn a hobby, fill your time with wholesome activities.  Friends will naturally come in time.  We are not desperate for friends, that makes us vulnerable and stupid.  Be discerning and do not immediately befriend anyone.   Do not drop your life story on anyone the first few times you meet and do not feel the need to pull personal information from them.  It all comes in time.  If someone has undesirable traits that concern you, gently mention it and give them the benefit of doubt.  Yet, we have no right over others.  Their choices are their own to make.  I like to show from the Bible how God, Jehovah and his son, Jesus feel about the matter.  This way it is not my opinion or preference.  People are not perfect and I am far from perfect.  Allow people to be themselves.  Sometimes friends come and go.  Yet, some will stick with you through the years.

Living our life, being God’s friend, our own friend, a friend to our family, and others will freely draw near and it is a delightful journey.

Now, my domestics need attention, then I will stop an sew or paint later this afternoon.  Live! Live! Today.

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Monday, Why I love Mondays.

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MONDAY, MY FAVORITE DAY!!!

Monday is a day many dread.  It seems to some all falls onto their head on a Monday.  Being overwhelmed, the day can be unproductive, stressful, depressing, and it does not have to be this way.

About ten years ago I met a refreshing person whose name is Annemarie.  A perky blond whom looked like Meg Ryan.  I invited her to do something with me for the upcoming Monday and she said no, any day but Monday.  I asked her why not Monday.  She told me that was her day for herself.  She used Monday to get rest, to clean, do the laundry, to do gardening and lay in the sun.  I was so impressed that I have reserved Monday ever since.

A DAY OFF: If you have a choice in the matter.  If you can afford to work four days instead of five, why not take Monday off from your employment.  Many take Friday off by choice viewing it as a vacation day.  Yet, Monday may be an even better day to take off instead of Friday because it may be more fulfilling.  Everyone else in household is back to work and school.  Do not view your day as a day to Care Less or be carefree.  By carefully considering how you will spend your time on this special day, your life can take a change for the better.

Monday at home could mean an extra hour of needed sleep, getting in a relaxing walk, a trip to the library or museum by yourself, meeting a friend for lunch, doing your bills, or yard work.  For balance in my life, getting chores done in the form of a quick clean makes a difference for the whole week.  I do not mean a slave day, more like a day of time blocks adhered to.  Having attention deficit, time blocks help me to focus without the temptation to multitask.  If I multitask then my mind is unaccountable and takes flight.  The day is gone.  This can still happen to me when I feel weak due to health problems. Yet, I strive to do as much as I can on Monday because for me it is a sanity keeper.

A time block for extra rest like sleeping in an extra hour, and an hour break in the middle of the day.  A block for phone calls, A block for laundry which during that time while washing and drying are going on I can clean the bathrooms and or phone calls.  A Block for quick clean which is 12 minutes per room.  (my quick clean is ten minutes to do a quick pick up, gather what does not belong in the room including trash and set at doorway, wipe surfaces quickly, then timer goes off and I quickly sweep or vacuum. Then on to next room and set timer for ten minutes).  (The Slob Sisters have a great book about this and The Fly Lady, for years I read and reread. They helped me so much.  It seems so hard for me to read anymore books yet I will never forget that their programs are fantastic).  Then I run and put doorway items away as fast as possible.  Time for a break when all done.  A block for yard work or errands.  The blocks can be minutes long or a couple of hours long.  Use the timer.  If the timer goes off before your done then one must determine if another day of a few minutes will make a difference or if a few minutes now will make a big difference.  This is not the day to get caught up in trying to get each room done as a perfectionist would.  Each week of this activity will make a few weeks worth of efforts a visible accomplishment.

I like Monday because if I get my Monday work done, the whole week is much smoother.

What I like to do on Mondays.  First, I sleep in as long as I need to, with chronic health problems a lack of sleep contributes to my flare-ups.  Secondly, I start the laundry  and make my phone calls.  I do a deeper clean up in the kitchen.  Monday happens to be my deeper clean kitchen day.  While wash is going I clean my bathrooms.   A quick pick-up and sweep-up through the house remedies the mess the weekends create. I wash towels every Monday, and if possible I may get a jump ahead by doing them on Sunday night.

Setting up my schedule for the week on Sunday night helps me to know what phone calls are vital for me to make.  Doing my phone calls by 11:00a.m. really takes the pressure off the rest of the day.  Over the week, I pay attention to whose anniversary, graduation, or achievement has come about that I can on Sunday nights or Monday write out these cards and send them.  My husband seems to enjoy running errands, and I like being home on Monday.  Emotionally, I really like being home on Monday because life seems so busy on the weekends, the downtime to get things done is precious.  I rarely accept an invitation to leave my house on a Monday.  Hanging my clothes out to dry is another thing I have done for decades and I like to do if the weather permits.  Cooking a good meal and doing a little meal prep to make the next couple dinners for the week easier is important.  Eating a little lighter during the day helps me to maintain my focus and lessen the burden on my internals.  A walk or isometric exercises refreshes me.

At 1:30 pm. on Monday is a PBS station sewing show called Sew it All.   I like to stop and enjoy this show and put my legs up.  It is only a half hour and because I enjoy sewing it is a treat to watch.  On Wednesday, Sew Easy comes on, I will tape it to watch later.  If sewing or painting or something else is your interest, give yourself  a 90 minutes time block to work on a project, and then that evening your free to get back to it if you can.

Filling my Monday with practical efficient activities sets up my week  for greater productivity and less stress.  Whether it is every Monday or only a once a month Monday, having this day to catch up on domestics, relaxing activities, yard work, gardening, and phone calls makes for a better start to the week.  It also is important to avoid time wasters on this day.  Unless the errands are vital for the week to go smooth try to keep most of the day to yourself at home.  Beware of Time Wasters such as gabbing on the phone, texting, internet cruising, or television watching.  This day is a day for yourself to reset and restore.  With an extra hour of rest, getting a home in order, car cleaned, laundry done, gardening, essential phone calls and bill paying your investing in a more peaceful life.  The week and month will go smoother.  The evening of Monday is a good time to be refreshed by going to bed early for an extra hour of rest before resuming regular activities on Tuesday.  Monday’s never get me … .

 

 

 

PLAN IT, BY GOLLEY DO IT!

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Cowl neck scarf I finished knitting which matches my $1.00 skirt an my cute shoes.  Gina  fatfitanfab.com

Plan! Plan! An replan.  Are we more distracted than previous generations?  Are we less productive than previous generations?  I would venture to say yes, although, it is a general conclusion not based on any statistics.  Are you as productive as you like?

Personally, I feel totally sidelimed by a lack of awareness of time.  Then one gets caught up with their cellphone looking at messages an emails etc.  Time is lost an nothing to show for it.

Previous generations had more responsibilities than we do now, yet we have seemingly more stress an less satisfaction.

Life’s circumstances in many ways provided a simplified life.  There were no Walmarts, Lowes, Hobby Lobby’s etc.  It is easy to be a hoarder with two many interests these days.  Money was saved, set aside, and used practically for the families needs.  Now, credit is a sometime blessing and a many-time curse.  There is always something to buy, and good deals are seductive.

Home-made jams, soaps, candles, or knitted scarfs, or something embroidered were typical gifts when the thought was valued more.  Now, it seems the amount of the gift is a requirement of concern.  Practical gifts of building blocks or a log cabin set were appreciated.  Sadly toddlers are quite tech savvy yet building an engineering skills are being forgotten.  Mechanics, engineers and architects may become rare skills in future generations.  

Plan it! Do it!, Do it!, List it!, Do it, register it!  We go through the phases and we feel exhausted, discouraged as we relist what we want to avoid, yet need to get done.  I have many of these cluttering my conscious an unconscious mind.  Forgetfulness is a consequence of ignoring as a habit.

The standard too do list could be an off shute of our weekly and monthly list.

The standard “To do” list can be recycled into our “Got Done!” List.  I feel so much better writing down what I achieved today.  Also recording my circumstances, like a project manager or contractor on a job site will put in the Log, a start time, how many men on the job, how many subcontractors with crew size an specifics, the weather conditions such as overcast, windy, and 52 degrees, etc.  Writing my circumstances, obligations for day, health challenges, and achievements makes me feel very satisfied.  It is less likely I will judge myself unfairly.

We know what all we have to do.  Just put 12 minutes into the next step of the project and see what happens.

Living fabulously includes simplifying our lives to achieve more focus.  Our Great-Grandparents may no longer be with us yet their examples can always be reconsidered as it’s principles enrich our lives.  I call that a real inheritance.

The Harvest in our Life.

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Alabama Cotton Harvest  photographer, Gina Rydin

The Harvest in our Life.  A farmer knows when to plant his fields.  His routine and schedule must be diligently adhered to if he is to recieve the bounty that is anticipated.  A farmer cannot be happenstance regarding his goal.  The planning, is exacting.  A farmer whom procastinates is a poor destitute farmer.  A farmer whom waits for the perfect day, or perfect conditions is a farmer whom will not reap as others in his community.

How is the Harvest in our life?  Can we reflect a farmer’s attitude with our habits, routines, short and long term goals?

 

The Last Quarter. We can make meaningful changes in our life.

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Chili with Cheddar Chive Scones          by Gina at fatfitanfab.com

October, is the start of our last quarter as we are near the end of another year. Sometimes we can feel time is running out, what can we do with the time left?

People can get so wrapped up in exterior activities whether extracurricular activities for their kids, holidays, politics, that just living life has lost it’s meaning.  Being overly committed and obligated can cause us to be well-spent emotionally, financially, and with our time.

Routines are a practice that may not always be honestly rewarding.  If it is our practice to watch television for three or four hours before bed so as to relax it is a choice.  Is there a more rewarding choice?  My husband bought a lathe for woodworking at a yard sale.  Brock, 23, after work has been coming home from work making beautiful cups and bowls.  He is enjoying it and it is rewarding.  Is there an activity whether creative or purposeful that would be beneficial to do a night or two each week?

I am naturally a clutter bug, yet, my floors are clean.  Piles, piles still occupy the perimeter of many spaces in our home.  How they get there, where they come from, I can never see it happening, yet, I am the culprit.  As I am practicing better habits, not adding to the problem, it still happens.  I have been working on an area outside my painting area or artist corner.  It seems my creative forces has emerged from the room and congested beyond the room.  Is there an excuse?  I have an empty cabinet in there, and drawers half full, and the books put up on top of the cabinet.  These are all holdups and blocks to my creativity.

In the evening I have been putting on good music and working in there a few minutes, turning it into a real artists retreat.  Privately, I am a bit turned off by the junky furniture.  It is all like new, it is just pressed board stuff you could get cheap.  I love good wood.  If it was made the same of walnut, or cherry, as you can see, I am a brat.

I feel so much appreciation for this area I have, when there have been times in my life where I did not have an artists den.  So, I want to occupy the space since my secret is out about the furniture which looks new.  I am ashamed of myself for such notions.  That represents life too, maybe we have notions that hold us up.

“If only I were thin I would” do this or wear that;  If only I had an exercize machine or a membership;  if only someone loved me I would do this; if only my home was like this I would invite people over; if only my mate would  buy me flowers or be more romantic.  “If Only”!!!.  We can be set back with thinking like this.

An exaggerated answer to the “If Onlies.”  My son says this is an oxymoron.  There is no plural to the concept of only.  He could be correct, but for purposes he may be slow to understand, he still says we have a ton of “if only” in our life.  It is plural no matter how you put it.  John says, “If only the dog didn’t stop to crap in the road I would not be late to work.”  As we debate on proper or improper use.  I would still like to make a long awaited for point.

If only I were thin I would wear more chic outfits.  When I was in my low 130’s I fretted because I was not in my low 120’s,  then prednisone gave me an extra 45lbs that compounded the problem, ashamed I wore thrift store duds.  I wouldn’t buy the close I really liked because I did not deserve it til I lost some weight.  Now, at 205 lbs and on antiobotics and other meds my weight is still going up despite my efforts.  I am buying and have been buying new garments that are tasteful and comfortable.  I feel better no longer stressing over this “If Only” business causes years to go by wasted.

If only, is a matter of procrastination.  It makes our excuse sound valid.  Invite friends to your home even though it is not perfect.  It they are your friend they will pitch in an help with no judgement or just have a good time.

Do not wait for a bouquet of flowers and romance.  Buy the flowers yourself, and buy a new tie or dress socks for your man, and give a card expressing appreciation for all his hardwork and love.  Gifts are gifts, not a matter of exchange.  Do not wait for romance, create it.  If they miss the point of our ovature at least they know we love them.  They likely need us to romance them more than we need them to.  Just remember, when our mate works long days, their minds may not be thinking about romance, their romance is their sacrifice going out working to put the roof over our head and food on the table.  It is a valid gift that is not appreciated often enough. It can be more stressful or even degrading then we realize for them at work.  Let them come home to a big smile, a warm hug, with respect and appreciation.  We may be the only thing that puts joy an motivation in our mates life.  Women whom work like this benefit the same as men do by the unexpected gifts, or words of appreciation.

So, instead of over extending ourselves needlessly, let us look at our life.. can we see what routines or habits can be modified so as to bring greater joy and accomplishment in our life.  By switching things up a couple nights a week.  Whether by inviting others over, doing extra cleaning, getting ahead on our taxes, going for early evening walk, doing a craft or hobby we enjoy.  We can examine our life by finding ways to destress, and declutter.

We have someone come in an clean once a week doing things that are hard for me.  It is a necessity. And it helps me to get more done.

How about a trip to the zoo before it gets too cold, or the museums, or the library.  Let us make use of this month to get a few things back on track.  We will have pride an joy instead of depression.

This is a very stressful quarter for many. Slow down, save your money, enjoy the great outdoors. End the year doing the things you promised yourself you would be doing when the year started.

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Live now! Do not wait to LIVE your life.

Does time pass you by?  Life’s responsibilities keep us busy enough.  Yet, a sneaky thief may be invading your life.  It steals valuable time that could be used for more rewarding activities.

Consider these ten rewarding activities, then find out the thief you may be mindlessly aiding.

1. Productivity:  Productivity requires time set aside to reach goals. Using our time wisely gives us the reward of something tangible.

2. PERSONAL ORGANIZATION:  order of our enviroment, finances, and diet require good habits that are routine.  Instead of seeking fulfillment from shallow pursuits which take money an time.  Using our time wisely to get things done causes us to feel more accomplished.  When our enviroment is organized an less cluttered we are free to be creative. 

3.  Exercize:  making time for a daily walk or going for an exercize class a few times a week is very satisfying. This investment pays off in a few ways including the possibility of staving off weightgain, controlling our blood sugar levels, and having our clothes fit better.  A workout three times a week can help us maintain.  A workout 4-6 times a week can help us to lose weight with a sensible diet.  

4.  Food we take in:  Well planned meals can give us energy, save money, and improve our health. The other day I saw my thin friend eating a salad while she was sitting in her car waiting on someone.  I was impressed by her forethought. Another friend whom is losing weight packs a little cooler an takes it everywhere, when we meet at the donut shop she is snacking from her pack.  

5.  LIMITS:   People feel so threatened by LIMITS which are boundaries. Limits can be a protection.  Excess of anything can be costly.

6.  Social Activities:  Making time to do something with your mate or children is essential for healthy bonds.  Inviting aquaintences, extended family members, etc., to go to the zoo or museum can build lasting relationships.

7.  Take time for yourself to replenish:  Daily Bible reading and prayer have done much to empower a person to make healthier choices in their life.

8.  Plan Ahead:  By having a yearly, quarterly, bi-monthly, monthly, and weekly goal plan can help make life more rewarding.  Including areas just discussed in this article in your plan can change your life.

9. Living your Dream:  What have you dreamed of being or doing?  Whether it is learning carpentry skills, educating yourself about photography, learning to do great sauces and gravies from scratch. It is important to view these as relaxing activities so they will no longer be put off to imagined better circumstances that may never come.  I did not know I would be in a car accident that would make it so I could never play golf. I sent my children for Golf lessons, I should have been getting them too. You may be waiting to write that book or take the cooking class or joing the crochet-knitting group at the senior citizen group.  

10.  Sleep:  Try to get some sleep on a schedule.  Consider your natural circadian clock.  Are your activities circumventing your natural rhythm?

The thief revealed:  Time, how you spend it.  Do you imagine your relaxing is coming home to watch the television?  Playing games on your pad or cruising the net for a couple hours.  Messaging is the greatest interupter.  I saw a person having a nice run whom stopped to check a message.  If we are cleaning the garage or doing housework, writing, cooking, exercizing, crafting, doing personal bible reading, or enjoying social activities we are rewarded by protecting our focus.  More people complain of problems focusing which interpheres with accomplishment and satisfaction.  Electronics have their purpose, yet, without limits can bring our lives to ruin.  We overspend, we have no time to exercize, eating less mindfully, looking at our phones during a fine meal provoking jealousy, our domestics are harder to manage, and taking time to learn a craft or hobby becomes a distant thought.  Do not let an aid become a thief in your life.  See what adjustments may improve your life.

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June is running by ….July approaches …

June is running by, and half the year is now behind us.  What do we still have to do?  Is there anything we wanted to accomplish this year?

It is a good time to refer back to our Goal List for the year.  Three areas I like to consider

  1.  Health and Fitness Goals.
  2. Relationships
  3. Domestic

1.  Health and Fitness Goals:  Let us expound on the most typical goal for the year, Health and Fitness.  Each year we get older and even young people are experiencing health problems.  We will not even discuss the newfound issues with healthcare and insurance costs.  The high monthly costs of mandatory insurance is causing many to avoid visits to the doctor because of high copays and deductibles.  If there was not a good enough basis for a healthy diet and regular exercise, there is more motivation now.

We have one body, and our health we must seek to protect it.   Wise choices, no extremes are necessary.  Fruits and vegetables never go out of fashion and are readily available in most markets.  It only takes moments to use a regular blender to make a nutritious cool drink.  Would you like to know my recipe for a quick tasty fruit smoothie?

One I have been using for literally decades is, I will call it:

Fruit Frapp by Gina @  fatfitanfab.com

one serving recipe:              6 oz orange juice, (not from concentrate), or 6 oz of water. a banana, a peeled apple, and one cup of frozen berries.  Put in the blender, put on for 40 seconds to a minute an a half.    If you do not want to use a bannana, you can substitute a cup of fresh-cut papaya.

The banana or papaya give the drink a smoothness like a shake.  The frozen fruits may have raspberries in which do have seeds.  They remain like seeds. I just swallow them.  If a person has digestive issues like diverticulitis the seeds may bother them so you may choose just a strawberry/blueberry mix.

Be careful if you have diabetes or blood sugar problems.  Only you know if you can have citrus, some medications are a problem.  As I am not a doctor or nutritionist, I am only sharing a recipe which helps me to get my vitamin C, other vitamins, and natural fiber.

I like to make vegetable smoothies in the late afternoon before I start making dinner, that I can sip which can get the edge off hunger and be quite satisfying.  My cardiologist did recommend simply having a V8 each day.  I do not have a great tasting vegtable smoothie that is quick to make.  I do like spinach, a clove of garlic, a handful of fresh parsley, two carrots, and a celery stalk with the leaves.  I do use a pinch of salt because I naturally have low blood pressure.  Then I blend in my regular blender.

Responsible self-care involves regular exercise.  With all the responsibilities people have in their life it can be a real challenge to cull out the time to take a walk, or take a bike ride, or use an exercize machine.  Yet, it is relaxing, destressing, and exhilarating.  Not only can it help us to maintain our weight, it can help prevent us from gaining more weight if that is our objective.  If our objective is to lose weight, than exercising daily with a plan can help us reach our goals.  I had ankle surgery on my right ankle in the beginning of February.  It all seems so slow to heal.  Both ankles have each had two surgeries.  As much as I want to take off and go for a run, or go for a walk it is just not reasonable at this point.  I purchased a bike and I have been striving to go for a ride a few times a week.  The heat is unbearable for daily rides and I am unfit.  Should I call myself unfit?  Maybe that is harsh to label myself as unfit since I do regularly do daily stretching and isometric exercises in my home.  OK, I will accept the congrats! for maintaining my regular stretching and isometric exercize program for decades.  The exercizes I do help me to deal with chronic pain associated with lupus, and rheumatoid arthritis.  I have a lot of muscle spasms and nerve pain.  The exercize helps me to feel that I am taking responsibility for what I can control.  The exercize benefits me also because I like to have a scoop of ice cream, and I have diabetes, therefore, exercize keeps the sugar manageable.

Each health situation is different, but so many suffer.  If we take some time to consider our own situation, and start right away to manage our health before more serious problems develop.  Not only can we keep our healthcare costs down, we may feel better.

2.  Relationships:  Relationships affect our peace of mind.  The relationship we have with our creator, with ourself, with our loved ones and if we are employed than we have our social relationships.  Can we improve all these relationships?

The relationship a person has with their creator can affect how they also feel about themselves and how they live their life and the consequences etc.  I have no more to say on that subject.  It is worth considering privately.

The relationship we have with ourself is very complicated indeed.  So much of how we feel about our-self is deeply rooted from our conception, our upbringing, the family situation, the make up of the family dynamics.  Some come from secure family situations, that is very rare these days.  Some of us are very wounded from broken homes, lack of security, an absent parent, and some experience abuse.  All these factors shape us.  Yet, we do not have to be defined permanently by any of these situations.

Earning a healthy esteem is a very valid concept that I have lived by for decades.  We may remain sensitive or fragile.  Yet, I think of a flower that appears to be fragile, sure, someone may be cruel and pull some petals off.  If the flower is left alone, it can even go thru a thunderstorm with high winds and still remain beautiful.  Someone may pull our petals off, but we must remain rooted in what we know and what we can do.  We can bloom again and if necessary, we can be the seed that blows in the wind, and be rooted elsewhere.  The sun, the rain, will come again.  A positive attitude and hope are fortifying.

When I went thru some health dilemmas this last year, the effect had a stifling effect on me.  I felt incapable and unable.  I quit writing, painting, making bread, and sewing became a rarity.  Cleaning the bathroom mirror I wondered if it was done right.  No one was doing this to me, and I cannot blame anyone.  The doctor whom helps me with my life management skills regarding my attention deficit, he helped me to realize that something was rooted in my youth.  He said, “OK, you do not want to blame anyone, you do not want to blame it on something in your youth, mistreatment you endured.  Yet, you do acknowledge you were not in ideal circumstances to grow a healthy esteem, you did not feel safe, and your accomplishments were met with disfavor by those whom should have been proud of you.  If you can accept this, you can move on.  You can find a new way to respond to your accomplishments.”  Of course, I did not have a tape recorder and it may not be a perfect word for word account.  That was the basic jist of it.

To get thru all of this, I kept the habit of making my Master List for the month and the week.  I referred to them often.  A book from the Library on Productivity that I referred to in one of my previous published articles suggested that when I make my TO DO List that I leave room between each to put a couple of actions that are logically needed to accomplish the task.  This really helped me to get more done.  Feel Good Feeling!  My friend Mattie has an infectious cheer about her and giggle.  She is all about giving yourself a cheer when you complete something.  I am trying it, and it feels good.  My husband John likes to stand back and look at what he has done, you can see his pride well up even with the smallest of accomplishments.  I use to look at him in wonder when I would walk up and find him doing so, in fact, because I did not understand it, I thought it was downright silly and it made me a bit uncomfortable.  Over the years, I have slowly come to understand this gift.

Did you know that at the end of each day of creation, our Great Creator would say “It is Good!”.  We are made in his image.  So if we know we worked hard, and we did our best, I believe it is healthy to feel “it is good”!   My relationship with myself is greatly improved, and I am sewing again.  If we can possibly have a healthy esteem, we can then be healthy to be in a relationship with.  Our relationship with our mate, family, children, and work mates can be healthier if we are more positive to be around.  By having a healthier diet and exercise program, a healthy attitude, we can have healthier expectations of others too.  Nurture those relationships respectfully.  Each person is subject to the law, and each person is protected by the law.  If that is remembered, then abuse would be uncommon.

Last night I saw true love.  A couple with their toddler entered the diner  where we were enjoying a meal.  The man was lovingly affectionate and obviously proud of his lady and the child.  He was quite handsome.  She was quite obese and unkempt.  It likely had been a hard day for her.  Yet, this man loved this woman, and she knew it.  I was greatly touched.

3.  Domestic, no I am not talking about domestic beer.  It is where we live, what we drive, and where we spend our time, and how we manage it all.  Half the year is gone, there is some warm weather maintenance we can do on our home, car, and property.  Have you made your punch list?  I want to get into the car and do some deep cleaning, and it is not just because I turned a to-go container of spaghetti upside down in the back seat of the car yesterday.  I was already planning on a thorough detail clean of the interior of the car, now it just seems more immediate to do.  Thankfully, my caring husband got the spaghetti spill cleaned up, but I do feel I need to do that thorough cleaning in the next day or so.  Light colored car, little spots could be anywhere.  This time of year is a great time to clean the garage, and have a garage sale or donate your goods.  Fix your bicycles and use them.  Plan a trip to the zoo, or keep cool in a museum, visit family, or go away for a long weekend.

John got some weatherstripping done on all the doors last week.  Our lovely old yellow cat, PUFF, has already scratched up the new weatherstrip on the front door.  I am going to do a smelly hairspray on the lower door frames after I rub a little essential oils on the weatherstrip.  We still need to get some exterior painting done.  There is a list.  I am eager to get the windows clean.  As I am zeroing in on a room at a time with the deep cleaning,  the last thing I do in the room, the final touch is cleaning all the glass, which includes the windows.  Doesn’t it make everything look good.?

Attention to these three areas can give pretty quick improvement in many areas of our life. We can already feel better about this year and all we hoped to achieve.  We live in a very demanding and often insecure world.  Gently, yet, effectivly gaining more control over our health, relationships, and domestic situation can give us a sense of accomplishment resulting in a healthier esteem.  June may be gone by,…we still have a half year to fulfill our goals.