When a size Large is too small…

Five Things I can Do to reach my weight loss goal.

Doesn’t life seem that way sometimes?.. Everything is off, nothing seems to work right, and nothing fits.  Efforts seem futile, like today I was putting the onions in the ground to grown when I was done, I looked at my nice small shallow rows with the onions planted, when suddenly J.J. my Sylvester cat decides to jump in, lay there, pull and chew on them.  I urged him to leave the patch and he dug a hole as if that would be the perfect spot to do his evacuation.  I turned the hose on sprinkle mode and he left out of the area quite quickly.

I love the clothes in the Robert Redford line of Sundance.  His catalog features such beautiful clothes and goods, superior quality, and the price to match.  Sadly, I just cannot afford these wonderful items.  I came across one linen blouse, just gorgeous, and a size large.  Last year I wore a medium.  For less than $20.00, I received this lovely blouse.  You can imagine my feeling’s when I discovered it is just a tight fit, is it the companies fault?

Last week, I was attempting to try on a dress when my husband was standing there looking at me.  I said to him, “I am going to try this on…” trying to give him a hint it is a good time for him to move on to other rooms and activities.  He stood there, still, and then he said, “From the looks of it, it might be a tight fit!”.  I told him to just get on the move.  I put the dress on, and I could not button it.  Sadly, the stinker was right.

It is no fault of any clothing company, it is, just what it is, OBESITY.  How did I get here, and why.  When I was young, I was too skinny and I could not gain a pound.  Now, I patrol all I put in my mouth and it is an accruing situation.

At 215 pounds, it seems to be a losing battle, as I steadily gain.  Now, off the antibiotics, I feel I can lose some.  A friend said, “How do you go about losing 90 LBS?”.  My response, “How else, a pound at a time”.  She is sweet and very encouraging about anything I want to do.  She respects my needs for projects and is always interested.  So, losing this 90 lbs is my newest project.

20170225_195027

Filet, Sweet Potatoes, an Asperagus

What is a project without a plan?….How soon can I realistically achieve my goal?  What can I do today that is simple or small that will help me be equipped to reach the goal?

  1. Faith:  Have Faith and conviction that the idea, goal or project is worthy to accomplish. 
  2. Acknowledge:  Acknowledge the Healthy habits and routines that are already practiced as beneficial.  Feel Good about what we already have right!
  3. Implement:  When the most beneficial plan of action is decided upon, get to it.
  4. Tenaciousness:  A friend of mine whom is slender is very tenacious about her diet.  She is sensitive as to how different foods affect her.  She does not let social gatherings affect her feelings about the importance of sticking with her eating plan.  I am a person swayed too easily by my emotions.  I forget my diet if a lovely dessert appears in my mind.  It is time to pull out my “Instead Of:” list. (I previously wrote about the power of Instead Of)  Instead of the banana split, I will work on a painting.  Or take a walk .  Being Tenacious with our goal is protecting our investment of heart, effort, etc.  Aggressively seeing it thru to the finish is what is required to have a successful outcome in the shortest time possible.
  5. Hum:  People whom hum often times do so because of a happy tune or a happy heart.  Feel good about all the baby steps we stick to.  If, we think about how far we have to go, we may give up.  If we feel good about following our small achievements.  We will be successful in achieving our goals.

What goal do you want to achieve?

  1.  We need to write the goal at the top of a nice piece of cardstock.
  2. Break down three categories titled of types of actions needed to accomplish goal.  For example:  Weight loss of 90 lbs.  The four categories for this are 1: Diet, 2: Exercise, 3:  Weekly Positive affirmations,  4:  Attitude check and Progress.
  3. As I look at the first category, I will write down just three things I want to do for my diet, whether it is Lower my carbs to 25 per meal, or have two cups of vegetables each day, or have 350 calories for breakfast as well as lunch, then 450 calories for dinner with just 100 calories for a snack.  Be specific.  Whereas, the Exercise category may be cardio for 35 minutes every other day, with biometrics on the other days.  The Category of  Weekly Positive Affirmations are statements that give a person courage, truthful statements that are considered several times a day, whether a reminder put on cell phone or written on a paper or something included in prayer.  A positive weight loss affirmation for me is:  I do not need to be heavy to be strong, I do not need this fat as a protection.  I am strong and safe anytime.  (with Jehovah’s help).  or another is:  I like caring for myself with the best food possible. Each person knows their own insecurities.  One of mine was, If I was heavy, I would not have to deal with unwanted attention.  Turned out, even while heavy, I still get bothered.  A lot of people have this problem, either they bother others or they are getting bothered.  I am learning to put my hand up in a strong manner when I do not like what is coming my way.  This is difficult for me, but it is becoming my manner.  And the last category is Attitude Check and Progress.  Write down the weight each week, what is my attitude that week gone by, and what good thing I can say to myself to keep motivated.  If I gained three pounds, checking my attitude like:  I have been in the dumps so I ate cookies and skipped my workout all week. Then my new Affirmations will be born out of that.  Example:  After a healthy early dinner and walk, I am going to the bookstore and checking in the bargain section for a craft book.  Or, I am going to arrange to meet a couple of friends to go on a walk with me on some local trails.  Affirmation: I am not waiting for good to happen in my life, I am inviting happy activities into my life each day.

It is time to practice FAITH in our daily life.  We must keep having Faith and Conviction in the beneficial outcome of our project.  We have to Acknowledge the good things we already do right,

in order to have a healthy mind frame.  Implementing our plan of action gives us the power and action through habits and routines. After we come up with our plan of action we must keep it visible in order to implement our new plan.   The Tenacity we exercise because we see how worthy our goal is, we must be Tenacious in sticking to our plan of action.  We can Hum because we know we are right now fulfilling our goal.

 

 

The Last Quarter. We can make meaningful changes in our life.

20161004_182859

Chili with Cheddar Chive Scones          by Gina at fatfitanfab.com

October, is the start of our last quarter as we are near the end of another year. Sometimes we can feel time is running out, what can we do with the time left?

People can get so wrapped up in exterior activities whether extracurricular activities for their kids, holidays, politics, that just living life has lost it’s meaning.  Being overly committed and obligated can cause us to be well-spent emotionally, financially, and with our time.

Routines are a practice that may not always be honestly rewarding.  If it is our practice to watch television for three or four hours before bed so as to relax it is a choice.  Is there a more rewarding choice?  My husband bought a lathe for woodworking at a yard sale.  Brock, 23, after work has been coming home from work making beautiful cups and bowls.  He is enjoying it and it is rewarding.  Is there an activity whether creative or purposeful that would be beneficial to do a night or two each week?

I am naturally a clutter bug, yet, my floors are clean.  Piles, piles still occupy the perimeter of many spaces in our home.  How they get there, where they come from, I can never see it happening, yet, I am the culprit.  As I am practicing better habits, not adding to the problem, it still happens.  I have been working on an area outside my painting area or artist corner.  It seems my creative forces has emerged from the room and congested beyond the room.  Is there an excuse?  I have an empty cabinet in there, and drawers half full, and the books put up on top of the cabinet.  These are all holdups and blocks to my creativity.

In the evening I have been putting on good music and working in there a few minutes, turning it into a real artists retreat.  Privately, I am a bit turned off by the junky furniture.  It is all like new, it is just pressed board stuff you could get cheap.  I love good wood.  If it was made the same of walnut, or cherry, as you can see, I am a brat.

I feel so much appreciation for this area I have, when there have been times in my life where I did not have an artists den.  So, I want to occupy the space since my secret is out about the furniture which looks new.  I am ashamed of myself for such notions.  That represents life too, maybe we have notions that hold us up.

“If only I were thin I would” do this or wear that;  If only I had an exercize machine or a membership;  if only someone loved me I would do this; if only my home was like this I would invite people over; if only my mate would  buy me flowers or be more romantic.  “If Only”!!!.  We can be set back with thinking like this.

An exaggerated answer to the “If Onlies.”  My son says this is an oxymoron.  There is no plural to the concept of only.  He could be correct, but for purposes he may be slow to understand, he still says we have a ton of “if only” in our life.  It is plural no matter how you put it.  John says, “If only the dog didn’t stop to crap in the road I would not be late to work.”  As we debate on proper or improper use.  I would still like to make a long awaited for point.

If only I were thin I would wear more chic outfits.  When I was in my low 130’s I fretted because I was not in my low 120’s,  then prednisone gave me an extra 45lbs that compounded the problem, ashamed I wore thrift store duds.  I wouldn’t buy the close I really liked because I did not deserve it til I lost some weight.  Now, at 205 lbs and on antiobotics and other meds my weight is still going up despite my efforts.  I am buying and have been buying new garments that are tasteful and comfortable.  I feel better no longer stressing over this “If Only” business causes years to go by wasted.

If only, is a matter of procrastination.  It makes our excuse sound valid.  Invite friends to your home even though it is not perfect.  It they are your friend they will pitch in an help with no judgement or just have a good time.

Do not wait for a bouquet of flowers and romance.  Buy the flowers yourself, and buy a new tie or dress socks for your man, and give a card expressing appreciation for all his hardwork and love.  Gifts are gifts, not a matter of exchange.  Do not wait for romance, create it.  If they miss the point of our ovature at least they know we love them.  They likely need us to romance them more than we need them to.  Just remember, when our mate works long days, their minds may not be thinking about romance, their romance is their sacrifice going out working to put the roof over our head and food on the table.  It is a valid gift that is not appreciated often enough. It can be more stressful or even degrading then we realize for them at work.  Let them come home to a big smile, a warm hug, with respect and appreciation.  We may be the only thing that puts joy an motivation in our mates life.  Women whom work like this benefit the same as men do by the unexpected gifts, or words of appreciation.

So, instead of over extending ourselves needlessly, let us look at our life.. can we see what routines or habits can be modified so as to bring greater joy and accomplishment in our life.  By switching things up a couple nights a week.  Whether by inviting others over, doing extra cleaning, getting ahead on our taxes, going for early evening walk, doing a craft or hobby we enjoy.  We can examine our life by finding ways to destress, and declutter.

We have someone come in an clean once a week doing things that are hard for me.  It is a necessity. And it helps me to get more done.

How about a trip to the zoo before it gets too cold, or the museums, or the library.  Let us make use of this month to get a few things back on track.  We will have pride an joy instead of depression.

This is a very stressful quarter for many. Slow down, save your money, enjoy the great outdoors. End the year doing the things you promised yourself you would be doing when the year started.

New Schedule, The Adreniline is … I cannot stand it. The Thrill of …

So excited your heart is racing, you cannot focus, the anticipation of it all is driving you up the …   When you have hopes, dreams, ideas, plans, projects, need I say more.  You cannot focus on what your loved ones are talking about, your thinking about it while doing other things, even television cannot take it off your mind.

This is how the Architectural mind works.  The mind of a designer, or a creative person is picturing all the details in their mind.  Do not interrupt my thoughts.  The mind of an engineer or mechanic plotting, analyzing, figuring, assessing, estimating, resolving, all takes mental energy, drive, and enthusiasm.

Applying these traits in our personal life to resolve our stagnation or problems can give us hope while turning our situation upside down like newly tilled soil.  Just as soil needs a good turnover, so doesn’t our life.  While minding our morality and principles we can consider great changes.

How can we assess our life?  Are we lonely?  Are we frustrated?  Are we bored?  Are we fat? Are we tired?  Is the routine predictable?  Is there stagnation with the old hum drum routine?

Some things take time to change, whether it is our financial situation, relationships, esteem, domestic situation, and the list goes on.

Example:  A person that is fat, out of shape, lonely, not treated as respectfully as one would like, that feels opportunities are not offered to them as they are others. This guy can feel quite trapped.  The routine of eating, computer games, and hours of television leaves them frustrated and unfulfilled.  One day this person sees the blog fatfitanfab.com and is inspired to make a couple adjustments.  Replacing unhealthy drinks with more water his skin is clearing up and he is not feeling so sluggish, seems less bloated.  Because he is shutting off the television after the evening news he is getting a few things done in the evening and he is getting to bed earlier.  He has started a thirty minute walk in the early a.m. daily before work.  With the habit of a healthy breakfast each day he has more energy and less cravings.  Just being alert and energetic in the morning it seems he is getting so much more done at work.   He cannot believe how he now has to wear a belt because he really needs to buy a size smaller in pants.  Others notice the change in him and seem to enjoy conversation with him because he seems more happy.  The boss is responding as if he has greater confidence in him now.

You see what I am getting at, just a few little changes in habits and routines can enrich our lives.  It is very thrilling to contemplate.

My goal is to go to bed earlier, to get up earlier, and to spend the time in the morning doing what I usually view as a treat to do, do that until noon before I need to get my daily responsibilities done.  I realize I have been doing it wrong, like dangling a treat, that I never will get, only to be disappointed day after day.  As if that would be my reward just if I …you know how it goes, we do it to ourselves, to our kids, to our loved ones.  The promised incentive that never comes.

Doing an abrupt face is exciting, addressing the problem completely differently.  Thinking of our children, when we practice the method of  going to the park after you finish your homework it causes frustration, anger, and sadness.  The homework session drags out hopelessly until it is too late to go to the park.  Real punishment.  Instead, ask the child how long it will take to do the homework, then go to the park with that in mind.  Have a great time.  As soon as you get home and the child washes their face and hands, drinks some water, then right away get to the homework.  Set the timer with that much time and add a buffer of fifteen minutes for the encouragement.  A few days of the park first may prove to be stimulating for the child.  Whom wants to go to school all day and sit in front of the homework for an hour or two.  Instead of resentment, it will be refreshment, accomplishment and joy.

What my sons have done to enrich their life is they have a bowling league now on Wednesdays, and they have a great time.  One evening a week going to a bible meeting is rewarding.  An evening at the Library or local book store.  Whom is lonely now.  We can be alone enjoying any of these activities and not feel lonely.  We have an activity to look forward to.  My husband took me to the bookstore tonight.  After days of being sick and unable to go anywhere I was thrilled when he suggested going to my favorite store.  I love the “how to” section, how to cook, sew, or knit, etc.  I know how to do all these things but I just love projects and I feel like an crazy nut about all I want to do.  In reality it is not possible to do all I want to do, but I will think about that tomorrow…

Your whole family will benefit from a few adjustments in your life.  The whole family and loved ones may not at first cooperate with the hoped for changes.  It may be us alone making the adjustments while not forcing change on others.  Include your family in these changes invitingly an see joy restored.   Just as an Architect, Engineer or Mechanic address a problem.  We can assess our life an redesign it with optimism.  Is your Adrenaline pumping and is your heart racing?

When things are not going right …

When things are not going right, and your perplexed what can you do?  Resolving problems is not so easy when emotions are involved, and relationships are at stake.  How do you keep your feelings in check, while your overwhelmed and discouraged?  Finding the answer to problems is not always obvious.

Praying to our Great Creator is always a perfect start to addressing problems.  How we pray is another matter entirely, we can always be sure to Thank our creator for the good we have experienced in our life, then we can let him know we have limited understanding of our problem and thus have a challenge figuring out the best course to follow.  We can ask for wisdom and direction.

Next we should write down our problem and approach it like a business person.  Write out what options we have, at least three.  Then the possible outcomes for each option.  The pros and cons of each, and what happens if we do not make a decision.  We must not be overly pessimistic about the matter, assuming the worst outcome if we make a big decision.  It may work out better than we have guesstimated.  Of course, it could work out worst, and we must be prepared for it.

Being informed about the subject we are approaching is vital.  Yet, discussing it with an intimate friend is not always the best choice.  Their emotions might get the better of them, and you.

Always consider your own moral values when thinking about resolving a matter.  It is best not to second guess your principles or it could nag you forever, and bring the greatest grief.  I remember when I was at a special group meeting for children of alcoholics that a young woman there was in great distress.  She was involved with a married man, he told her the usual tales of his marital woes, and he had her hook, line, and sinker.  She did not know he was married, until after much interaction.  Guilt, she was a slave to, and she wanted to drink, and she wanted to die.  I just let her know how beautiful she was, and that she did not want to hurt another family, and that she is not the first he has fooled around with.  We talked about her freeing herself from this fleabag with no legitimate intentions.  This woman was breaking all her moral values and she was miserable for it.  Love should be a beautiful thing, and if you live with self respect and respect for the creator, you will be the happier for it.

The advise from another is easy to get, yet, they do not have to live your consequences.  Going to an older, mature, person whom has shown by their own life that they live with some principle can be very helpful when soliciting of advice.  Of course the decision is still always yours.  I like to go to   http://www.jw.org and type my problem in the search bar because the way they address issues is well rounded.  It is free, and over 115 years experience, it is great.

This week I have been overwhelmed, sad, and discouraged.  Sometimes I feel a little grouchy, sometimes I want to cry.  The thing that helps me greatest is sticking to my usual routine, and working on a few things I have been putting off.  I have been looking at these shelves in a corner for a few years that I have wanted to paint and put above some special doorways we have.  So, while feeling so blue about my father in hospice, (he is many states away and I cannot get there because of my hernia surgery and recovery), I am very sad.  This Thursday I get my stitches out and then I can get on the plane on Friday.  I hope he lasts til I get there.  I long to sit with him a bit.  I thought of my father as I painted these shelves.  Tomorrow my son will put them up over the doorway and I will be delighted to see it, and it is another thing done.  Although I cannot do regular things, I am doing little things to improve the overall look of our environment.

While going through things, it is vital to still do our laundry, and keep picking up and putting away.  Yet, we must make time to get our cars extra tidy, and do something special with our hair.  Watch a good movie you saw years ago you enjoyed.  Talk about good things with a friend on the phone.  Make something with some skills you have.  Go for a walk with a friend.  It is not always necessary to talk about a problem to resolve it.  Sometimes, we need to get our mind off our problems so we can come back to it with a whole new approach.

If you feel you never get a good outcome when dealing with problems, then maybe you do need to try a fresh approach to an old problem.  Do not respond the same old way, think of an assertive friend and how they might respond, try it.

For example, if you have a mate that likes to holler at you for long periods, think about their heart and health.  Think about your heart and health.  Think about the neighbors.  If you have children in the home, think of them.  New approach, no wining, complaining, threats or ultimatums.  Just say as if you are a good friend to them, the said mate, “I see how frustrated you get when you are expressing yourself, I am concerned about your health, and mine too.  I am also very interested in your feelings.  Your feelings are important to me, but I no longer can be audience to your anger.  It scares me about your health and mine too.  Let us strive to state the concern in thirty seconds or less and then let us see how quickly we can fix the problem.”  Then walk away, start sweeping the floor or something.  If you stand there looking, expecting him or her to agree, it looks like you want a fight.  So just move onto something else, ask them if you can get them a cup of water or something.  Gracious and kind is key to pleasant outcomes.

My first husband was a very violent person.  This really worked for a bit.  Eventually, I realized he had a personal problem and it was not me.  I did not deserve his anger and there was no way I could fix his problem, he was a bottomless pit.  My life has been greatly blessed without him, and I hope he is living respectfully and happily.

We live in a very problematic world.  It is impossible to live in complete peace and security at this point.  We are only in control of ourselves and how we react to a situation.  We can react differently than we usually do, and then we can possibly have a different outcome.  Respect for others, and respect for ourselves means we would never hurt another and we do not open ourselves up to be repeatedly hurt.

I only have a few days left before I leave, and I would like to come home to a more pleasant atmosphere than when I left.  Therefore, besides continuing with my regular routine, I am going to get a few more things done before I leave.  Some problems will have to just work themselves out.  It is great I can meditate on some good memories of my father and me.

Three ways to improve our life.

1.  Acknowledge we are not in control of people. We are not in control of all situations, there are too many variables.

2. Identify the many areas of our life we are in control of.  We are only in control of our actions.  Being honorable, honest, and obeying the laws bring good results.  These are things we are in control of.

3.  Responsible decisions and behaviors bring fabulous results.

When bad things happen, relationships that reflect unhealthy attitudes, job loss, abuse, it is good to reflect on what is in our control, what we will accept, what can we change, and how we can be honorable in all our actions.  If a good relationship is ruined because of lying or cheating, why would we expect another to put up with that.  We shouldn’t put up with that either.   If we lose a job because we fuss with our cell phones instead of focusing on our productivity, then it is time to learn to leave our cell phones turned off until break time.  Or if we are habitually late we put our employment at risk.  If our mate is jealous, we have to listen to complaints they might have voiced, “your always texting others”,  “when we go out to eat, your always looking at your phone”  This could breed insecurity, and in some situations it is very rude.  We must consider our own attitudes and behaviors.  There is no excuse for abuse, nor do we want to instigate a situation with our own actions.  Many problems in life can be avoided if we exercise manners, consideration, and honesty.