Friends make life more tolerable and bring joy.

Friendships definately stimulate joy in our lives.  How do we make friends in the cyber world?  How about an old fashioned face to face contact, conversations and good times.

Loniliness is an actual problem for many. Life’s responsibilities keep most so busy they only have time to carry out their domestic duties and get rest when the next day presents the same.

Of course some are very shy and do not know how to get the conversation ball rolling and keep it rolling and for how long.

With good things there are always limits, boundaries, and rules of respect.

Imagine if one friend works and has children she is definately going to have less time then an older semi-retired person with no children.  So if you want to visit with her, invite them all over and have a meal ready with no requirements of her.  Understand children have bedtimes, homework, and she may still have washing to do for the week.  Do not be hurt that she must leave so soon?  You did help and your friendship means a lot.

I love spending time with my friends.  My friend Susan made lovely cards and has organized an old fashioned tea party on Sunday afternoon.  Exciting.

My friend Danielle and her daughter are learning how to sew from me and are progressing quite well. We love spending time together while being productive.  We are all learning new things.

Valerie is teaching me how to Garden, she is amazing.  I kinda get out of the way, she moves fast and confidently as I hang around wanting to help and I am not useful.  She has taught me so much and the garden is lovely. We have good times together talking and laughing.  Her household goes to bed early so although we could hang out til they kick us out or make another bed, we strive to be considerate and leave not too later than their usual bedtime.  😂

I do not like to ask people how they are because it is an unfair question.  The rule of thumb is to smile and say good or fine while you may be dying inside.

I like to ask what a person has coming up next week, or did they recently do anything enjoyable.   Last evening I asked Danielle if she had anything fun coming up?  She said she and her husband, son and daughter were going to an dinasaur exhibit.  I think that is so exciting.  I look forward to our conversation after they have experienced this.

We must be more interesting than the internet.  Instead of watching movies, playing games on phone, internet cruising, and such.  Learn to live your life!  Be the heroine of your own story instead of passively letting it pass you by.  Imagine how many hours are wasted on the internet or television.  Add them up if you dare.  Time runs out of the day, week, months and years. Yes, our life can passively pass us by.

By doing activities, we become interesting.  For instance, I finally lost a couple pounds, only a couple.  It was enough to wear my floral linen dress   I wore it and was happy for a little bit, until I realized the side splits came up half my thigh.  As soon as I got home I got my box of grommets out and while talking to my almost 26 year old son, Brock is my middle son which always has it’s advantages, and my husband.  The unusual course of things is they think I do not know how to do things   They cannot resist taking over and have great fun doing it.  So he took everything from me and now he was setting the grommets into my dress side slits where I had marked   When he was nearing finish He said, “as usual mom, you start things you do not know how to do, good thing I came around”, and he has one eyebrow up for emphasis.  It took everything to keep from laughing hysterically.   I then said to John, my husband, “how come you did not say it was your turn to set some grommets like when I made my striped bag you too fought over your turns like little children?!”.  He just looked at me as I giggled about the both of them.   If I want to set the grommets, I have to take my things and hide under a tree.  Yet, these men, my husband and sons create such entertainment I think This is truly called living.  Being involved in activities together.  Oh,  my dress looks cute with the shoe lace look, I used embroidery threads and put beads on.

I asked my husband what was one thing he noticed and liked about me.  His reply was, “you were always doing something, and no matter what was going on with you or around you, you were always so chipper and happy”.  I thought that was great because that is how I am.

Quit reading about others so much, live a life worth writing about in your own journal.  Write down something positive someone said to you, or a good outcome of something you worried about.  I like to combine my journal with my calendar and master lists for weeks and months so my accomplishments and direction or focus is all together in one place.  I am thru trying to buy journals and calendars.  There are none perfect and they run out of months.  Living my life includes making a personal everlasting journal/calendar/masterlist binder I can add to an take away from all I like.

Set up your challenge and stick to it.  Mine is Daily Bible reading, daily practice of simplified domestic schedule, sewing, gardening and painting regularly.  Oh, do not forget hospitality.  Invite ones to meet for coffee, or to library for a book on a place you want to vacation.  Greece or Peru, I cannot afford to go but I can plan my ideal trip anyway and pray about it.

The point is, Be your own friend first, go to museums, concerts, learn to dance, learn a hobby, fill your time with wholesome activities.  Friends will naturally come in time.  We are not desperate for friends, that makes us vulnerable and stupid.  Be discerning and do not immediately befriend anyone.   Do not drop your life story on anyone the first few times you meet and do not feel the need to pull personal information from them.  It all comes in time.  If someone has undesirable traits that concern you, gently mention it and give them the benefit of doubt.  Yet, we have no right over others.  Their choices are their own to make.  I like to show from the Bible how God, Jehovah and his son, Jesus feel about the matter.  This way it is not my opinion or preference.  People are not perfect and I am far from perfect.  Allow people to be themselves.  Sometimes friends come and go.  Yet, some will stick with you through the years.

Living our life, being God’s friend, our own friend, a friend to our family, and others will freely draw near and it is a delightful journey.

Now, my domestics need attention, then I will stop an sew or paint later this afternoon.  Live! Live! Today.

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Being Inspired and Inspiring others

Radiating warmth, comes from a mind and heart full of optimism for the well being of all you come in contact with.

The fact that hardships abound and there is no discrimination.  We cannot know the pain in another’s heart.

We cannot solve others problems, yet, we can lift another’s spirits.  It may be possible to help them see other choices available.  The power of making choices based on the best of options and possible outcomes can improve our life.

Fear can blind us to the options we have.  We can feel so limited because of our situation.  Threatening situations can keep us bound, like we come up with all the reasons to avoid a change. Imaging our situation will become worse, and yes it could.  Yet, a change is just that, a change.   It could change for the better as well.

Supporting another’s progress whether it is weight loss, or a cleaner home, or a more positive attitude is supporting a better society. We must invest in each other joyfully and optimistically.

A friend of mine is so perky, generous, optimistic.  She is refreshing.  I have been gravitating toward positive people. It is great having her in my life.

At times we have people in our life that are so emotionally taxing.  Emotional heavyweights are just that, how can we help them to have a different view of life?  Sometimes we cannot help another with their viewpoints or problems.  We may be the heavyweight ourself with the serious problems.  Our circumstances may seem daunting.  There may not always be clear answers.  We can always reconsider advice previously offered.  I have not always been ready to change, then privately, I think and pray about it.   There are times I try a new way and am benefitted.  It is easy to understand why change is so difficult.  I am a reforming near-hoarder.   Sometime, I will tell you about it.   People have tried to advise, counsel, and emotionally force a change.  Only the last couple years have I figured it out with the help of some good programs. Change can feel like a very drawn out process.  I want to be better now!  Ok, I am better now because I am making the adjustments.  Impatient with myself because I know how I want to be, and change is a practice, not a wish.

We might feel bad that we cannot help another, we after all have our own responsibilities and problems.  The Bible says we will carry our own load.  If we are on the phone every day hearing about another’s troubles, and we are so emotionally involved we get stressed how can we adequately attend to our own.  Imagine if we have a mate and children and we use the time we should be attentive to them to be stressed about another’s problems while neglecting those we should be actively loving.

Friendships are essential to emotional health.  A friend is someone that we can enjoy activities with, talk with, enjoying a positive interchange.  I have some friends whom are optimistic, they have not given up on me.  Their faith in me is essential and supports my growth.  I have a belief that a hand-up policy is the best.

Some enter our life suddenly like a breeze.  Refreshing their ways are and we  blessed.  In many ways we feel capable again.  We look forward realizing change and joy are possible.   They are an answer to a prayer. Just as suddenly they have moved on, but we were blessed.

Thank you to all whom have had faith in me, loving me despite.  Thank you!

Gina

 

Devastated but not Defeated!

It is said we live through our children.  To a degree this may be true.  As parents, we try to raise our children better than we thought we were raised.  We invest time, a lot of money, love, confidence so they can have a grand future.   How is this working?

The sad reality is children grow and go no matter how we raise them. We can be great parents according to our perspective, or we can be terrible parents according to their perspective.

What is the point then?  Parenting is a tough job. The world is against us in many ways. Our children are exposed to everything we try to protect them from.  What we said no to is the first thing they seek out when given a chance. Some adult children reflect on instilled values and use them as their guide.   Others have to tread on all sorts of troublesome paths and have to suffer consequences they never contemplated.  Yet, they come to the parents for a bail out with many affectionate promises.  We suffer right along with them, no, we suffer more.

The emotional an financial consequences to parents are deeper and far more extensive than the young adult cares to imagine.   As adults to whom made their own choices that were not always the best, we can see where a situation is headed. Sadly, the young adult grows deaf as we inquire, reason or suggest. They imagine they are smarter an wiser.  In fact they do not have the ability to see in their mind’s eye that we were young like them.  An they cannot see they will get old like us.

It is good to be there for our loved ones.  Yet, we must be cautious not to have our love exploited. We cannot have trust, faith, an confidence in them to an unfailing degree. They will make choices we would not want them to make. Our children may disappoint us at times.

Imagine the 1950’s era parents an how they suffered with hippy era children. There were not cell phones, so if your young adult went off on an adventure it may have been a long time before knowledge of safety and wellness was recieved.  Each era has it’s benefits and it’s grief.

The conclusion I have come to is that there has never been a perfect parent and there is no perfect child. The only perfect parent is Jehovah and his son Jesus was a perfect child.

When Adam an Eve disobeyed their father Jehovah he was devastated.   Yet, he refused to let his affections leave him defeated.  Jehovah had to step back an leave them to go the way of their own choosing.  Jehovah was a perfect parent, he generously provided for all their needs.  They could have been perfect children yet they threw it away choosing to ignore the warnings from their father.

As Jehovah was a perfect parent an yet his two children with free-will made devasting choices our children too may at times lack appreciation or they may make choices that confound us.  We may be hurt and disappointed.

I believe when our children disappoint us, we need not blame ourselves or our mate.  Some children come around later, and we can have faith they will.  If we invested love, and good training in their upbringing then we can hope they will return to the things beneficial.

We need not be defeated.  We have our own life to continue living with Joy.   It is vital we let go of those with free will and have confidence in their return. We have a responsibility to learn how to live our life well by using our free will in a most beneficial manner being a good example for our children to long to return to.  Are you living your life?

Imagine the interests that were put off to raise children.  It is time to contemplate the interests that were negated and invest in our future as we learn to live a joyful life. Our job is to raise a new generation, let go, live a few years productively until they must return to care for our needs when we are old.  So really, whom has the last laugh.  The elderly as they piss away their dignity with little control so they learn to enjoy the small things in life.

It is important we learn to enjoy small joys and activities while we are still young enough.  Why wait until we are old?  We are not defeated because we know we were not perfect children, we were not perfect young adults and nor were we perfect parents.  So we cannot take it personally when our children make greivious decisions.  Let us live!

 

How do you keep your mind positive to deal with life’s realities?

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Life continues in a routine then something happens…the other shoe you anticipate in the back of your mind. You never know what and you strive not to be a pessimist.  Whom wants to be in expectation of gloom?.

Can we be in expectation of good?  How can we be recipients of good?

Imagine if you did not plant your garden because you believe a hurricane might come this year and wipe out your hard work. Denying ourselves the joy of gardening is a crime isn’t it.  I believe Jehovah told Adam to tend the garden.

Not only would you miss out on the joy of planning your garden, the joy of working it, and the joy of the harvest Through out the season.  Pessimism is the weed like effect in your garden of life.

We must root out the pessimism in our life.  There may be reasons we base our pessimism as if it were fact.

Disappointments, hardships, and life’s realities could cause us to feel we are protecting our heart and mind by not having false hopes.

When we have belief systems in place because of prior experience or propoganda. This is an infringement that does not leave us open.  For instance:  I was born blond and have always been blond.  However, I noticed those with deeper darker hair colors had others respect or confidence almost immediately.  I dyed my hair a deep brown.  Not only did I feel more confident, I noticed I was treated differently by the same people.  Suddenly, competent!  I am at my own hair color and happy about it.  Yet, I learned a lot about people’s preconcieved notions.

Another attitude is about overweight people. Having experienced the stress of my own obesity after prolonged medical problems and medications, I understand all overweight people are not that way because of excessive food or lack of exercise.  Some people are heavy because of medical problems and medications.  Some people are heavy because of overeating and a lack of exercize.  Do we really lose all our good qualities just because of a few extra pounds?.

If we believe “I will never be loved.”  We are telling ourselves a lie.  Maybe those whom were responsible to love an protect us have emotional damage themselves and they were not capable of love and approval.  We could not be more loveable if the person does not know how to love.  I felt unwanted and not loved as a child.  It does not mean I was not loved.  I have enjoyed loving and being loved.  Jehovah has taught me how.

“I am unorganized” is another belief.  Maybe you are unorganized!  I am also unorganized.  Good News!  We can be more organized by practicing principles of time management and of personal habits.  I am working this month to have an industrious morning routine.  The fact is, I am cluttered, unorganized, and still completely optimistic of all I ever intend to do.

We watched the movie “Pollyanna”, Haley Mills, what a love, you feel she must be a fun lovable person in real life.  I liked when she an orphan of a minister, was talking to the preacher, played by Karl Mauldin. She quoted from Abraham Lincoln, “if you always look for the bad in others, you will find it!”

I thought about this bad habit, if our habit is to look at ourself or a family member always seeing the bad, we will never see the good.

People are so bias, people like whom they like and will always recognize the good in them.  And when a person does not like you, they will always see everything you say and do in a negative light.  People are blind.

According to Jehovah all of us rank the same,  we are all equally flawed with sin.  If we want Jehovah to see the good in us, we need to see it in others.  If our dislike for another blinds us, we need to ask Jehovah to open our eyes and help us to recognize what he sees in them, so we can be free to love them too.  This includes, seeing ourselves more clearly.  If we view only the good we are blind, if we view only the bad we are blind and crippled.

It is frustrating, sometimes, we want to change all at once, it is quite a hopeless helpless state.  I have to beg Jehovah to help me see more accurately at times.

The end of this article is here, in conclusion, each day we are privileged to live, realistic expectations of ourselves and others makes for a joyful existence.  It is time to plant the seeds entrusted to us as we hope for a most beautiful bounty.

This article is Dedicated to all my Dear friends whom continue to encourage me.  And all whom read the articles, may your life be blessed with Joy and Optimism.

ENDORPHIN THERAPY 101.

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Runners and walkers alike enjoy great weather and the endorphine benefits of exercize. Gina the  Author when I was young.

As I practice endorphin therapy for natural anti depression and reasonable relief of pain I am learning the difference between healthful endorphin releases and nonhealthful endorphin release.

There is no pain erradication therapy for me through this therapy or medications.  At this point, I do not know a moment without physical an sometimes emotional pain.  Please note that I am not talking about mental illness, clinical depressions, or emotional imbalances.  I do feel empathy for those whom suffer such.  It is my belief that endorphin therapy practiced with purposeful healthful control can be beneficial for all.

When addictions are considered, the effects of endorphins make change so difficult.  I have no specific knowledge or experience as I am not a physician or psychiatrist.  The experience I personally refer to is that “FEEL GOOD” part of the brain.  Growing up my mother made the best chocolate chip cookies and they were a real happy treat.  When we would take a long walk to the icecream bar in the grocery store we were estatic.  She knew how to get us to look forward to things and the realization of it was deeply felt.  We encountered alot of loss, devastation, and physical pain.  The good things were very good, exceedingly good thus setting me up with my own unhealthful forms of endorphin release learned at a very young age.

As I have been practicing this Endorphin Therapy, I am prayerfully considering all things big and small in my life.

Decades ago people were sent to sanitariums and the routine with patient activities provoked healthy endorphin release.

One important aspect to my investigation as to endorphins is to determine healthy and unhealthy.  Not all endorphin activities are healthful.

Healthy activites lead to longterm good feelings, and are beneficial to longterm emotional and mental health.

Unhealthy activities are short term with glee that later brings feelings of guilt, depression or sadness.  One example, a close relative of mine went out with men and had relations with any and all that seemed interested in her.  Yet, she had to visit a psychiatrist regularily to cope with depression over her conscious accusing her because she considered herself a christian and knew God did not like her activities.  She was addicted to her search for love in this wrong way.  She smoked in order to calm her nerves.  She felt empty and she drank heavily to deal with her emotions.  Her drinking and feelings created rage which caused her to be very violent.  The cycle for good feelings resulted in great sadness and emotional pain for her and all of us.  She died lonely at 61 from a heart attack.

Other negative short termed emotional highs are spending money excessively. People do this alot during the holidays and then panic sets in six weeks later when there is no money for the power bill or rent.  The food banks are busy then.  Post Holiday Blues, what should have been good turns out desperately sad.

Drug, alcohol, or any substance abuse are known to peak endorphines, yet, you lose your moral integrity and esteem.

Malfunctioning and mispurposeful use of the power of free will, can pervert the function and purpose of endorphins.

Responsible use of our power for use of Free Will can bring longlasting joy as endorphin releasing activities are being utilized as intended by our Grand Creator.

25 healthy activities TO ENJOY THE BENEFITS OF ENDORphin release:

  1.  Pray each morning for guidance, and Thank our Creator Jehovah for his son and the good in our life.
  2. Eat a healthy meal to start day.
  3. Hug a family member, hold the embrace, express words of endearment and appreciation.
  4. A massage, give one or get one.
  5. Help someone clean their home or yard.  Helping feels good.
  6. Eat an apple or some nuts
  7. Change the decor of one room.
  8. Plan a detailed meal, set the table nice.  Enjoy preparing with good music playing.  Do this even if just for yourself.
  9. Take a walk alone or with a friend, or take a zumba class, or do aerobics.  Dance, Dance.
  10. Listen to opera music or rock.
  11. Plant a garden or have houseplants to care for.
  12. A pet or a farm either one helps us to care for something besides ourself.
  13. A day trip each month to a museum, zoo, or festival.
  14. Go horseback riding or plan a vacation to a dude ranch.
  15. Go to bed early, do a little reading.
  16. Enjoy a nature walk.
  17. Send cards once a week, make a list each week of upcoming anniversaries, a graduation, or thinking of you cards.  Send cards if you hear of anyone in your area that has suffered a loss. Compassion and personal interest in others without expectation of returned kindness is restorative.
  18. Spending time with family and friends can bring about good feelings.  Plan a picnic.
  19. Coffee, or a couple pieces of dark chocolate or a glass of wine.
  20. Sitting in the sun and enjoying nature.  Watching birds and butterflies.  Or a body of water, waves, boats, or kayaking.
  21. Swimming, bowling, playing pool, a trip to library, basket ball games, playing an instrument or golfing each week so as to have this to look forward to.
  22. Read the Books of Psalm and Proverbs
  23. Buy yourself or someone else flowers.
  24. Cleaning the house or yard and enjoying the experience, feeling pleased with the efforts.
  25. Do the craft or hobbie you always wanted to do.  Make time an space for it.  Feel good when each step is accomplished.

Feel exceedingly good about the small simple delights in life.  Endorphins will no longer be shy to come out.  They will make your day and life more Joyful.