finacial abuse

Luxurious Living

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Living in the Lap of luxury was a common phrase generations ago.  Is this something people do?  Is this truly prosperous and satisfying?  How can we live in a prosperous and satisfying manner?  We will seek to answer these questions.  The answers may make a positive change in a person’s life.  Please consider…

Throughout history man has been in search of more.  Some whom have a lot want more.  Some whom have little are satisfied and why?  There are always times of plenty and times of famine.

Think of times when food was rationed, could it happen again?  Is it always some far off place?  If a person has plenty, why should they worry about this?

In some places in the world a person can go buy what they want or think they need.    Getting the vehicles, homes, clothes, beauty treatments, vacations, etc…and fritter money here and there without much thought .  Then they do more, buy more, and more is never enough, not recognizing situations change.  The money may not always be there.  Most people do not feel the need to worry about it.  But should we consider our circumstances?

We never expected our situation to change so dramatically.  It can change on a dime is also an old phrase.  I personally know this is true.  Our situation has changed.  I wish I had thought about all this sooner.

Personally I have never been into the beauty treatments and getting nails done. I kinda like being a plain Gina.  It is Good not having to worry about being a diva or beauty queen.  Being ordinary takes the pressure off.  I get my hair trimmed or cut twice a year and trim it the rest of the time myself.  My hair is a blaa blond, and when I am outside it brightens up some.  I dream of cutting it a shoulder length and dying it a dark red.  The only deterrent is being a slave to roots.  I do not do well with chemicals so I just continue as it is anyway.

Doing my own fingernails and eyebrows helps too.  I wouldn’t win any awards for the outcome.

I do not smoke or gamble and rarely have a glass of wine so that really cuts down on expenditure.  Imagine the money that literally goes up in smoke for some.  My mother spent so much money on her cigarettes when I was growing up.  One time when I was a young teenage girl I figured out how much she spent in a month on her cigarettes and I mentioned this to her.  She hauled off and slapped my face.  I never figured out whom was in the wrong with that one.  I just remember her being on the phone saying she needed money for the power bill.

I use to love going to thrift stores and yard sales.  But it really cost me a lot of money and I was dragging stuff in the house.  I had to put a stop on that.

Do you like clothes?  I love clothes and shoes.  I fall in love with clothes all the time and I always see the need.  Yet, my closets are bursting at the seams.  If I got rid of some of the less best garments I might be one of the best dressed women of our generation.  What generation?  This one of luxuriant living is what I refer to.

We love eating out, yet, we have cut back on this.  We still do eat out sometimes.  It costs so much more than it use to.  Like a days wages if you think about it.  Something else to consider: It is just, when I was young, the tips for your server were usually 10%, then later it went up to 15%, then 18%, now it is 20%.  Sometimes the tip is so big it is like paying for another meal, for the invisible person. It is almost painful.  The knowledge that the waiter may be emotionally hurt if they do not get the 20% is something that keeps us pigeonholed into this.  They really rely on this income.   The other problem is that they may not even receive all of their tip if paid w a credit card depending on the establishment.  How can I support this big game when the cost of the meal could really buy a couple bags of groceries or fill a gas tank?  What is balance?  That, each man or woman or family must figure out.  Try looking at a month, compare to another month.  Start keeping track.  This does not mean we cannot go out to eat.  Just, how often…might be considered.

Junk food,  what is that?  It happens to us, going to the store hungry, our cart is always fuller.  A drive thru happy meal would be more economical.

Just the requirements of daily life have snuck up in costs.  And it seems what previously was considered a luxury decades ago, cable tv, Internet, cell phones, not everyone had them.  We always seemed to be the last to get them.  The latest, the greatest, and speed seem to be a factor.

The utility bills have come up and take out a chunk of change.

I feel bad for many children being raised to think that this is normal.  They are unhappy always wanting more, always wanting newer, competing with their peers.  The status symbol, and their esteems are built on a slippery slope.  Parents are begged and bullied into getting their children expensive phones etc.   The assumptions by children that they can expect their parents to provide all this and so much more.  Most cannot afford but quietly, stressfully, helplessly go along which creates unrealistic expectations.

We are truly trapped it seems.  Can we say No!!!.?   Where are the boundaries?  Can adjustments be made?  How can I create satisfying boundaries in my life?

In high school we had an Independant Living class.  We looked at a potential monthly budget based on a basic wage.  Then we subtracted the rent for home, the utilities and insurances, and fuel, then we knew what we had for groceries.  We then could see what was left and we put a percentage of that in a savings account.

The times we live in are really more expensive when we add it up.

Remember a game of chess, or a board game and the fun we had.  How about the woodworking, sewing, knitting, embroidery, cooking and baking?  A hobby was very satisfying and earned you a real esteem.  A child proud of a picture they drew is a real event.  Sadly, many are more proud of their scores playing their games on their phone.

People have many vices in search of something, it breaks up families, and leaves people broke and depleted.

Slow down, calm down, recollect, reconnect, reconsider, appreciate, make new boundaries, stress less, be satisfied sooner, reassess needs.  Save yourself, save your family.  Hebrews 13:5,6 says:  Let your way of life be free of the love of money, while you are content with the present things.  For he has said: “I will never leave you, and I will never abandon you.”  So that we may be of good courage and say:”Jehovah is my helper; I will not be afraid… “  please read the whole chapter of Hebrews 13. It shows us how we can live a better life.

Changing things up here financially is helping. Yet, it has not been soon enough.  We still feel the stress of the heavy load we unwittingly created.  The scriptures admonish us to “live within our means”.  Inflated needs which are built on an imaginary lifestyle.  Needs the world around us makes us believe are normal.  The scriptures talk about us being satisfied with our daily needs being met.  Figuring this out can be a rewarding challenge.  In the last three years I have quit using three department store credit cards.  Three other credit cards I no longer use.  I am down to two credit cards and I am working on using them less.  It really is making me happy.  It still seems our credit/debt/income ratio is off balance.  This makes me really uncomfortable.  When we consider what this really is and how this affects so many aspects of our lives, it is rewarding to make an adjustment.  We still have a long way to go and more adjustments to make.  It seemed we were blind to boundaries we should have had.  And financial situations change in many ways, the world scene, the country we might live in, the income, health,  living expenses, job security, all are temporary.

How often do you say no to yourself?.   I do not say no as often as I like but I do say no more often than I use to.  It feels good.  A small measure of control.

Luxurious living is living within our means while having joyful interactions with those we love.  Cooking together, going to the park, enjoying creation, gardening, building something or sewing a garment are also rewarding activities.  Really living a life with a positive outcome in view.

Written by:  Gina Rydin  (the photo is a dinner my husband and I prepared together, leftover spaghetti baked, sautéed asperity Gus   And avacado)  that was a nice luxurious evening.

Whom is movin’ in and why?

Background checks, what are you talking about?  We are friends, I know it will work out great.  We will help each other.  I am letting them move in.

People are movin’ in, or they are letting someone move into their apartment or home.  It will cut expenses, it will no longer be lonely.  We have it all worked out.

Step back and consider a few things, it could save your life, credit, peace of mind, and much more.

You say, “I know him or her, that would never happen.”  Do not let your own lonely situation make you vulnerable, do not let your financial situation make you desperate.  A situation you jump into without thoroughly looking may be very hard to extract yourself from.

1.  Does this person have debt?  Oh, they need help for just a bit.  Is there a chance you could end up carrying the load and have a freeloader on your hands.  Men or woman are guilty of the above.  Identity theft happens all the time.  My friend’s son moved in with a couple of his friends, they thought they would save money and have a great time socially.  Instead, my friend’s son disappeared and one of his roommates stole his identity, and with the other roommate they left.  My friend’s sons body has never been found and almost a decade later my friend had to have his son declared dead.  The one roommate killed himself and the other fled to another country.  This happens more often than you think.  Even if you are not killed, it is an expensive ordeal to get your credit sorted out after the theft.

2.  Can you be sure the person will help carry the load financially?  How long have they had the job they work now?  How much do they earn?  What debts are they carrying? Is there any children out there you do not know about, child support takes about a third of the paycheck.  How do they spend money, latest and greatest with the clothes, cars, shoes, pedicures, hair bleaching, manicures, and massages. Do they like to go out to eat a lot, and where do they go out to eat?  What other kinds of things do they spend money on?  It is a fun ride, but it incurs debt.  I let someone move into my apartment when I was 19, She supposedly was going to start a job.  She never started a job.  The money her father sent to pay her part of the rent, she used to get her hair done, manicures, pedicures, tanning, new clothes and shoes.  She ate the food I bought, and she came in late from the dates she went on.  It was painful to have to kick her out, and it was even more painful to let her stay.  I was riding my bicycle over 20 miles a day to my two different jobs.  She became a call girl after she left, she came for a visit to invite me to the glamorous life she was going to.  I felt great disappointment in her.  I could see that is where she was headed after she was living in my apartment.  What stress.  Whom knows what happened to her, and if she is even alive.

3.  Living habits, are they clean and organized, or is it a bit sloppy?  How is your habits?  If your sloppy, do not imagine you will be better with another around.  This can lead to a lot of fighting.  Let us assume you are clean and organized.  Do you really want to do all the cleaning, empying the trash, doing the dishes?  What if they leave their stuff around and they do not have the sense to help?

4.  Sleeping habits, do you go to bed early so you can get up for work early?  What if they were the opposite.  You like some peace and quiet and they like the television on all the time.  You like to communicate, but they like to play video games, and text all the time.  It can be quite annoying.

5.  Do they like to cook?  No one wants to do all the cooking and washing the dishes.  Can they cook and you do the dishes?  and visa verse’.  This is important to find out.  I love to cook, but I do not have the stamina to do the cooking of a fine meal and the dishes with kitchen clean up.  Showing appreciation for a finely cooked meal is helping to clean up.  Why should one do it all?  Whom cares if you worked all day, help make the salad, or sweep the floor, take the dishes off the table.  These are important things to find out.  You hate to cook, they do not mind doing the cooking, then help with the rest.  Anyone can chop vegetables.

6.  Is there any substance abuse or mental health issues a person should consider.  If there is any substance abuse, there is too easily other forms of abuse.  It costs money to support alcohol, cigarette, or substance abuse.  There are nice people out there that do some of these things, but there are many that are not so nice after you are committed.

7. How will you feel if you come home and people you did not know are in your place making it a nest, and using your stuff?  What if they are snoopy and get in your personal business?  What if you do not have the same friends, could there be interpherance?  Morality does make a difference, what do you know about the other person’s morality.  A young man I know gets with one girl and quickly moves in with her, then he drops her and moves right in with another, and this has gone on and on.  He never seems to hold down a job, and he is very handsome and charming.  He has children by a different woman, at least three that we know of.  He keeps on the move because it is hard to catch up with him for the support.  He doesn’t see his children, and there is no support.  He charms, and keeps the bed warm, and he eats the food you buy, and when your at work he is out charming others, but he is there when you get home because you support him well.  This is a very true situation I know of.  It happens all the time.  And there are woman whom have a child from this man, a child from another, and a child from another, because they are fickle.  Why do you deserve this?

Do not let your feeling sorry, compassionate side, cause you to be vulnerable and at risk.  Exercise wisdom, you cannot know someone you just met, or someone you have known a while.  Whose idea for the move in was it?  Is there a rush job going on?  You could be in danger of a complete disruption of your life.  Do not let your life become a Lifetime movie.  Does someone claim to need your help?  What were they doing before you came along?  Have they disrupted someone else’s life?  If you want to help someone, then help someone whom really needs it.  There are soup kitchens you could volunteer at.  Many children would benefit from a weekend foster parent, contact an state children’s agency and apply.  They will compensate you and you will make the difference in a child’s life.  There is too many sad stories out there, there are too many victims, if some would stop and think, there would be less of these situations happening.

Work for the success of your own life.  Eventually a positive situation will happen in your life.  Learn to live your life, enjoy your hard work, responsible living, and like yourself.  Your life needs to be fabulous because you make it that way.  No one can make it that way for you.  Others just add to your life if your careful about whom you include.  It is great to take this as an opportunity to learn to live joyfully all by yourself if that is your present situation.  If your already living with someone, talk about these matters.  If you are the one with some of these ways that could use improvement, then do not put off making positive adjustments in your ways of living.  The good and decent people in our life deserve the best we can give.  Our considerate ways are a great demonstration of love.