Perplexing Times

Uncertainty arises in all aspects of life.  It is hard to make decisions.  While hard pressed in so many ways it can be easy to jump to the wrong conclusion.  Consequences come so better decisions can bring better consequences. Many experience this, and can deal with a form of chronic anxiety.  What can help us be more decisive?

Sometimes we want to make the right decision, but the right decision is not always so apparent.

Remember, we do not have control of all things, nor of people, and sometimes we can be a victim.  Ecclesiastes 9:11 says “…time an unforeseen occurrence befalls all.”  Anything can happen to anyone.

In other ways we have much more control than we realize.  We can choose to eat in moderation, spend in moderation, clean in moderation, exercise more, be more attentive to our loved ones, watch less television, enjoy being out in creation more, eat out less, go to bed earlier.  Practicing good daily habits can increase our peace and joy.

I have a friend whom is suffering great abuse in many ways from her mate.  She believes in forgiveness yet the abuse has only escalated over the last couple years.  He manipulates her into allowing the abuse.  Her affections are then misconstrued into something unhealthy because she is subjecting herself to stress and sadness.  She has many children whom have to witness this which is a form of abuse too.  This leaves them with unwarranted stress and guilt.  When you have children you cannot protect them and expose them to badness at the same time.  We are responsible to our children, the governmental authorities, Jehovah and his son, and even to ourselves.  Children grow and go.  We must have a safe secure environment for them.

In a situation of abuse, the other party, the one whom does the gross wrongdoing is responsible for their actions.  Blaming ourselves and others only supports their bad ways.  The one in a bad way never sees their own responsibility.  Thus, they continue in their bad way, nursing themself along and others nursing them too.  Freedom and peace comes with decisive action when motivated by Godly principles.

In our situation we just do not know, what appears to be the right way may not be.  When we think we are simplifying we could unwittingly be complicating.  When others are well meaning and tell us, “you need to simplify!” they do not always know what they are talking about.  The reasons a life is complicated must be considered.  After my mother in law died, she had been living with us and was 101.  My husband had a stroke before she died and he had been in a care facility for a while.  I was in distress and could not seem to get it together.  My two friends Olivia and Courtney came over and kindly helped me neaten and clean the kitchen an living room.  That was such a healing.  They did not criticize or counsel, they just helped.  I felt they really understood with love.  Because I have been practicing good habits, I have been able to keep it all up since.  It just is difficult to gain the extra ground.  Last week on a day I was tired and felt a little useless I decided to just pull one of my kitchen drawers open and take a few things out that I just do not care to use.  Then I went to the next drawer and quickly did that one.  In less than ten minutes I did all of them.  Then the next day I asked someone if they could use these things and they were happy to get them.  When I do laundry, I look for things I do not care about and toss.  It feels good.  I am not being pushed or rushed, and I can do it.  Slowly acquiring a healthy esteem.

We are not well and we are trying to simplify.  While we have reduced some monthly expenses others seem to have simultaneously gone up.  We went an changed up our car insurance to bring expenses down, two weeks later it went right back up and yet one less car to cover.  Other things are less and this makes us very happy.  We are still trying to work on this because it is always beneficial to reassess our budget.

My husband has a complicated medical situation that has him down.  Today he was having a neurological attack and fell over into a rose bush   When I tried to pull him out he was leaning just as hard into the rose bush.  I had already sprained my right shoulder an arm and as I was trying to pull him out of the bush it was very difficult.  He fell back into the rose bush. He does not want to admit it hurt yet I am sure it did.  Feeling sad for him and I love him very much.  Just want to help him to feel good about things.

We have cucumbers growing up the lattice and we look forward to picking the first one.  Looking for the sunny side helps a lot.

Good friends are the greatest blessing.  A good friend is not judgmental, instead aids you when you express a desire to improve.  Tonight a couple friends said they noticed I have been losing weight.  I feel encouraged.  I still have a lot of weight to lose but they did not mention that, so I need not focus on that, just keep going in the right direction.

Naturally, genetically haphazard and unorganized it is very difficult to be organized.  All the criticism meant with love only causes me to feel incapable.

The conclusion I have come to is that if my calf muscles are small naturally, I may not be able to change that.  Yet, with regular exercise I can develop them.  They may always be small but they can become stronger and appear nicer.  Yet, unrealistic expectations of them being rounder and fuller, would be disappointing.

By acknowledging that I have many interests and that I tend to be a homebody means I tend to have many things around me.  I like being able to putter with this and that.

There are some truths I have identified about myself, such as: excessive clutter makes me feel uncomfortable.  I do like seeing all surfaces wiped down and clean.  The mother whom raised me took great pride in keeping her windows, cabinets, appliances and floors clean.  In fact she had a system for being clean everyday.  I really liked that, yet I was unsuccessful at implementing any system myself.  Knowing I like cleanliness and that our creator requires it, is the best motivation.  I have a long way to go to be like I want to be.  Improvement is slow in coming yet, I have been working on it a long time while dealing with one unusual situation after another.  A friend of mine whom was visiting last week said she has seen our home get nicer and more organized.  She did not criticize me for still having a lot of clutter and disorganization.  She commended me for the progress and left it at that.  That made me feel so good, because like weight loss, change and results can take a lot longer than we like.  It does not happen overnight.   I cannot be thin just because I want to be, I cannot be organized just because I want to be.  Yet, I can practice thin habits and I can practice organized habits.  In time, the results will be evident and I can feel I reflect well on my creator in all things.  This keeps me motivated and it is its own reward.

Decisions are numerous, thousand a day.  In many areas like personal, medical, relationships, financial, moral, where we live and what we do.

Knowing we want to please our creator in all we do helps us to make better decisions.  Praying for guidance then following thru makes a difference too.  Considering long term outcomes helps us narrow down our options.  This can curtail spontaneous behaviors when we contemplate the results and costs.

By knowing a few things about ourselves, honestly assessing the good and not so good helps us not be so vulnerable.

For example:

  1.   I am sensitive and emotional.  This makes me vulnerable to misunderstand and be offended.  The scriptural principle at Ecclesiastes 7:9 says “Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense lodges in the bosom of fools.”  Need I say more, I have stupidly taken offense needlessly with heavy consequences.
  2. Emotional impulses that lead to eating or spending without control.  I feel so happy I am going to have a piece of cake, or I am so depressed a little shopping will make me feel better.  Feelings can be misleading and can bring on a heap of problems.  Instead, I feel so good I am going to take a walk and enjoy creation.  Or, I feel so depressed I will just go take a little walk and enjoy creation.  It works both ways.  The Bible principle I think of is, 1 Corinthians 10:31 which says “therefore whether you are eating or drinking or doing anything else, do all things for Gods glory”.

There are many bible principles that aid us in daily living.  And when answers are not obvious a lot of prayer and decisive baby steps with patience can bring about good results.

Written by:  Gina Rydin author of all fatfitanfab.com articles.

Please keep in mind, you decide and choose what you do.  I speak only from my own experience as your neighbor or friend and I am not a healthcare professional.

Altogether untogether, do you ever feel this way?

At times, life’s responsibilities are so overwhelming it is hard to remember whom we are and what we like to do.

We try so hard to keep it together, then it is so easy to land onto the couch and watch an episode of Gunsmoke or something.  Yet, is it becoming our thing, our habit to drop and chill?  Is there any other way to reconnect with the joy of living the life?

My Dear mother in law is living with us.  She is 101 years old.  Overall it is going fine.  My husband nor I feel well and it makes everything so challenging.

Thankfully, she does not complain much and goes with the flow.

A friend makes pound cakes and shares by showing up at bad times and gives these to encourage others.  Although it has been a couple years and she is going thru so much herself.  I believe she deserves some pound cakes.  I asked Lisa to share her recipe and she did.  I know there are thousands of poundcake recipes online, but there is nothing like one shared by a friend you know to be good.  I brought Marcia into the kitchen and we visited as I put the cake together.  It was a nice experience and it turned out well.  This afternoon Marcia looked at me and said, where is this cake we baked?!  So I brought her a big piece and she liked it.  Which of course made me very happy.

Today, I just wanted to be in bed.  Everything hurts and I am tired.  This week there has been plans to teach a young lady how to sew pillows an insert the forms.  Her mother and she picked out many nice fabrics at a fabric store and pillow forms.  Marcia enjoyed watching us girls measure, cut and sew.  All turned out fine and it was a joy.   Her mother gave me some of the lovely fabrics.  What a treat!

When I plan time w others I have to think ahead for the meals to avoid temptations of eating out.  Our middle son Brock gave me a rice cooker so tonight I dropped in frozen chopped Peppers an onions, a couple packages of jumbulia ricean beans, Conecka sausage, chicken broth and pinto beans and just let it cook itself in this rice cooker   It turned out very well with minimal effort.   When your just tired it makes you happy when things turn out well.

We made an agreement this week to really watch how we spend and that we want to live on the leaner side.  We do not always recognize how easily we live in a luxurious manner.  We meaning anyone.  We want to pay off any debt and live within our means more closely.  Circumstances change and are we really prepared for them?

My friend Vickie, her husband is dealing with extreme health issues, she has a special needs son besides.  Vickie has always managed to keep her home together, help others and go for walks.  We were talking tonight and reminding each other of the importance of having little things you like to do.  Making time to do these activities.   Vickie is accepting help from others to take her husband for his treatments.  It is humble of her to accept the help because he and she has been good to so many over the years.  He gains encouragement from spending time with others and experiencing their care for him.

A family we cherish in the Panama City, Florida area that was affected by the hurricane expressed today that they are just longing for some normalcy.  We really were designed to have routines and steady circumstances.  Our creator designed us to be stable and that is what we yearn for.  When our world is upside down we are too!  They will be coming for a brief visit in a couple weeks and we look forward to it.

I am taking a course with the Tidy Tudor.  It is very enjoyable.  About good habits and ways of thinking that affect our life in a more healthful manner.  I am not naturally organized and would like to be.  Kathy Roberts is very motivating with a new step each day or concept to consider.

Right now the house seems a mess and it has only been six days that I finally got a shot to settle my asthma down.   I am not up to par.  My husband and I neaten up and Vaccume before bed because we like it looking nice when we get up.   Somehow, it gets totally destroyed each day, I do not know how it happens.

Three points to get out of all my jibber jabber.

  1.  Remember some activity you always enjoyed doing and include that in your life.  Whether it be working out, dancing, tennis, woodworking, needlework, gardening or baking etc.  make the time for it.  It is important!  Even Daily Bible Reading  is considered to be the most valuable of activities to include in our life.  I know making the time for it makes a difference in my outlook and attitude.
  2. Include people in your life no matter how crazy your life seems.  People help keep our perspective healthful.  I enjoy company, such a boost!
  3. Habits and routines are sanity keepers.  If it is difficult to get on track, ask for help or take a mini course.  Tap into our reset button and just do the basics until recovery is bestowed on us.  Choose something from each of the three on the list and see if it does not help a little.

Our lives are always changing and we must adjust or we can break under the pressure.

Written by:  Gina Rydin of fatfitanfab.com

A Mini Vacation

A mini Vacation, sounds like a lot of hassle for whAt?!!  Do you feel overwhelmed in your life, unable to think, focus, or even connect with loved ones.  I was feeling this way, and a little in the dumps.  John was feeling depressed from ongoing physical and emotional fatigue.  Everyone around me found that I was quite irritable.  Where was my Joy?

My husband is experiencing the sad effects of Feltsie syndtome.  A type of rhummatoid arthritis. After almost a year of uncertainty, appointments, meds, scans, and anemia w low platelet count it became too much for both of us.  He finally had his spleen removed.  His platelets are up but he still feels bad and is twenty pounds underweight.  Did I mention we went through this eight years ago with me?  Neither of us have a spleen now.  Chronic Illness is taking it’s toll on him, so we are trying to find ways to renew optimism and Joy.

We went to a special clinic for him to be examined and that he may recieve a beneficial treatment plan.   We decided to plan a couple fun activities.  Neither of us have a lot of energy so we chose to keep our plan simple and flexible.  It worked!

This is the way.  First, his appointment was in a city a few hours away.  We knew we did not want to drive a long way early before the appointment so we booked the hotel and got a nice place at the LaQuinta.  We chose a more spacious room and got it for a few days so we would not have to drive home after the appointment either.  The drive was nice, no rushing, stop, get out and stretch.  The day of appointment, we got a nice lunch after and went to a Motorsport museum later after a nap.  Then rested the evening.  The next day we went to a zoo and it was such a nice experience.  Back to room for a rest then out for an early dinner and a relaxing evening.  Then we met with some friends for lunch and headed home.  We had a good time and it was a nice break.

The reprieve gave us a readjusted viewpoint with Joy.  The Joy feeds endurance something we all need.

Now,  I think I want to focus on joy a little longer,  I am going to the website jw.org and look up Joy so I can incorporate it into my daily life a little more.

PS.  A habit I am trying to practice, which is a challenge for me, litl’ Ms. Haphazard.  Making the time to neaten the inside of my car and wipe it down.  A long time ago I decided Friday is the most suitable and beneficial day for me to do this.  Yet, it rarely happens and I do not know why.  However, although, it currently is not a weekly habit as I would desire.  I have been more mindful about cleaning my car out on Fridays and I occasionally do it.  The beneficial results give me a sense of satisfaction.  A Friday does not go by that I do not think of it now.  Tonight, it was beautiful out, a nice breeze.  With about six cats choosing to walk around and inspect, I was able to wipe down all interior surfaces while enjoying nighttime noises.  It was not difficult and I enjoyed this quiet time.  The feel good feeling was so satisfying, that when I saw my husband after, I decided not to even mention it.  Do we really need to hear Good Job!?  Oh, I am like everyone, I love to hear it.  But to just feel it secretly, only my Great creator and I.   Was that also a mini Vacation?!

Author of this and all articles on fatfitanfab.com Gina Rydin

 

 

 

 

Friends make life more tolerable and bring joy.

Friendships definately stimulate joy in our lives.  How do we make friends in the cyber world?  How about an old fashioned face to face contact, conversations and good times.

Loniliness is an actual problem for many. Life’s responsibilities keep most so busy they only have time to carry out their domestic duties and get rest when the next day presents the same.

Of course some are very shy and do not know how to get the conversation ball rolling and keep it rolling and for how long.

With good things there are always limits, boundaries, and rules of respect.

Imagine if one friend works and has children she is definately going to have less time then an older semi-retired person with no children.  So if you want to visit with her, invite them all over and have a meal ready with no requirements of her.  Understand children have bedtimes, homework, and she may still have washing to do for the week.  Do not be hurt that she must leave so soon?  You did help and your friendship means a lot.

I love spending time with my friends.  My friend Susan made lovely cards and has organized an old fashioned tea party on Sunday afternoon.  Exciting.

My friend Danielle and her daughter are learning how to sew from me and are progressing quite well. We love spending time together while being productive.  We are all learning new things.

Valerie is teaching me how to Garden, she is amazing.  I kinda get out of the way, she moves fast and confidently as I hang around wanting to help and I am not useful.  She has taught me so much and the garden is lovely. We have good times together talking and laughing.  Her household goes to bed early so although we could hang out til they kick us out or make another bed, we strive to be considerate and leave not too later than their usual bedtime.  😂

I do not like to ask people how they are because it is an unfair question.  The rule of thumb is to smile and say good or fine while you may be dying inside.

I like to ask what a person has coming up next week, or did they recently do anything enjoyable.   Last evening I asked Danielle if she had anything fun coming up?  She said she and her husband, son and daughter were going to an dinasaur exhibit.  I think that is so exciting.  I look forward to our conversation after they have experienced this.

We must be more interesting than the internet.  Instead of watching movies, playing games on phone, internet cruising, and such.  Learn to live your life!  Be the heroine of your own story instead of passively letting it pass you by.  Imagine how many hours are wasted on the internet or television.  Add them up if you dare.  Time runs out of the day, week, months and years. Yes, our life can passively pass us by.

By doing activities, we become interesting.  For instance, I finally lost a couple pounds, only a couple.  It was enough to wear my floral linen dress   I wore it and was happy for a little bit, until I realized the side splits came up half my thigh.  As soon as I got home I got my box of grommets out and while talking to my almost 26 year old son, Brock is my middle son which always has it’s advantages, and my husband.  The unusual course of things is they think I do not know how to do things   They cannot resist taking over and have great fun doing it.  So he took everything from me and now he was setting the grommets into my dress side slits where I had marked   When he was nearing finish He said, “as usual mom, you start things you do not know how to do, good thing I came around”, and he has one eyebrow up for emphasis.  It took everything to keep from laughing hysterically.   I then said to John, my husband, “how come you did not say it was your turn to set some grommets like when I made my striped bag you too fought over your turns like little children?!”.  He just looked at me as I giggled about the both of them.   If I want to set the grommets, I have to take my things and hide under a tree.  Yet, these men, my husband and sons create such entertainment I think This is truly called living.  Being involved in activities together.  Oh,  my dress looks cute with the shoe lace look, I used embroidery threads and put beads on.

I asked my husband what was one thing he noticed and liked about me.  His reply was, “you were always doing something, and no matter what was going on with you or around you, you were always so chipper and happy”.  I thought that was great because that is how I am.

Quit reading about others so much, live a life worth writing about in your own journal.  Write down something positive someone said to you, or a good outcome of something you worried about.  I like to combine my journal with my calendar and master lists for weeks and months so my accomplishments and direction or focus is all together in one place.  I am thru trying to buy journals and calendars.  There are none perfect and they run out of months.  Living my life includes making a personal everlasting journal/calendar/masterlist binder I can add to an take away from all I like.

Set up your challenge and stick to it.  Mine is Daily Bible reading, daily practice of simplified domestic schedule, sewing, gardening and painting regularly.  Oh, do not forget hospitality.  Invite ones to meet for coffee, or to library for a book on a place you want to vacation.  Greece or Peru, I cannot afford to go but I can plan my ideal trip anyway and pray about it.

The point is, Be your own friend first, go to museums, concerts, learn to dance, learn a hobby, fill your time with wholesome activities.  Friends will naturally come in time.  We are not desperate for friends, that makes us vulnerable and stupid.  Be discerning and do not immediately befriend anyone.   Do not drop your life story on anyone the first few times you meet and do not feel the need to pull personal information from them.  It all comes in time.  If someone has undesirable traits that concern you, gently mention it and give them the benefit of doubt.  Yet, we have no right over others.  Their choices are their own to make.  I like to show from the Bible how God, Jehovah and his son, Jesus feel about the matter.  This way it is not my opinion or preference.  People are not perfect and I am far from perfect.  Allow people to be themselves.  Sometimes friends come and go.  Yet, some will stick with you through the years.

Living our life, being God’s friend, our own friend, a friend to our family, and others will freely draw near and it is a delightful journey.

Now, my domestics need attention, then I will stop an sew or paint later this afternoon.  Live! Live! Today.

Being Inspired and Inspiring others

Radiating warmth, comes from a mind and heart full of optimism for the well being of all you come in contact with.

The fact that hardships abound and there is no discrimination.  We cannot know the pain in another’s heart.

We cannot solve others problems, yet, we can lift another’s spirits.  It may be possible to help them see other choices available.  The power of making choices based on the best of options and possible outcomes can improve our life.

Fear can blind us to the options we have.  We can feel so limited because of our situation.  Threatening situations can keep us bound, like we come up with all the reasons to avoid a change. Imaging our situation will become worse, and yes it could.  Yet, a change is just that, a change.   It could change for the better as well.

Supporting another’s progress whether it is weight loss, or a cleaner home, or a more positive attitude is supporting a better society. We must invest in each other joyfully and optimistically.

A friend of mine is so perky, generous, optimistic.  She is refreshing.  I have been gravitating toward positive people. It is great having her in my life.

At times we have people in our life that are so emotionally taxing.  Emotional heavyweights are just that, how can we help them to have a different view of life?  Sometimes we cannot help another with their viewpoints or problems.  We may be the heavyweight ourself with the serious problems.  Our circumstances may seem daunting.  There may not always be clear answers.  We can always reconsider advice previously offered.  I have not always been ready to change, then privately, I think and pray about it.   There are times I try a new way and am benefitted.  It is easy to understand why change is so difficult.  I am a reforming near-hoarder.   Sometime, I will tell you about it.   People have tried to advise, counsel, and emotionally force a change.  Only the last couple years have I figured it out with the help of some good programs. Change can feel like a very drawn out process.  I want to be better now!  Ok, I am better now because I am making the adjustments.  Impatient with myself because I know how I want to be, and change is a practice, not a wish.

We might feel bad that we cannot help another, we after all have our own responsibilities and problems.  The Bible says we will carry our own load.  If we are on the phone every day hearing about another’s troubles, and we are so emotionally involved we get stressed how can we adequately attend to our own.  Imagine if we have a mate and children and we use the time we should be attentive to them to be stressed about another’s problems while neglecting those we should be actively loving.

Friendships are essential to emotional health.  A friend is someone that we can enjoy activities with, talk with, enjoying a positive interchange.  I have some friends whom are optimistic, they have not given up on me.  Their faith in me is essential and supports my growth.  I have a belief that a hand-up policy is the best.

Some enter our life suddenly like a breeze.  Refreshing their ways are and we  blessed.  In many ways we feel capable again.  We look forward realizing change and joy are possible.   They are an answer to a prayer. Just as suddenly they have moved on, but we were blessed.

Thank you to all whom have had faith in me, loving me despite.  Thank you!

Gina

 

Devastated but not Defeated!

It is said we live through our children.  To a degree this may be true.  As parents, we try to raise our children better than we thought we were raised.  We invest time, a lot of money, love, confidence so they can have a grand future.   How is this working?

The sad reality is children grow and go no matter how we raise them. We can be great parents according to our perspective, or we can be terrible parents according to their perspective.

What is the point then?  Parenting is a tough job. The world is against us in many ways. Our children are exposed to everything we try to protect them from.  What we said no to is the first thing they seek out when given a chance. Some adult children reflect on instilled values and use them as their guide.   Others have to tread on all sorts of troublesome paths and have to suffer consequences they never contemplated.  Yet, they come to the parents for a bail out with many affectionate promises.  We suffer right along with them, no, we suffer more.

The emotional an financial consequences to parents are deeper and far more extensive than the young adult cares to imagine.   As adults to whom made their own choices that were not always the best, we can see where a situation is headed. Sadly, the young adult grows deaf as we inquire, reason or suggest. They imagine they are smarter an wiser.  In fact they do not have the ability to see in their mind’s eye that we were young like them.  An they cannot see they will get old like us.

It is good to be there for our loved ones.  Yet, we must be cautious not to have our love exploited. We cannot have trust, faith, an confidence in them to an unfailing degree. They will make choices we would not want them to make. Our children may disappoint us at times.

Imagine the 1950’s era parents an how they suffered with hippy era children. There were not cell phones, so if your young adult went off on an adventure it may have been a long time before knowledge of safety and wellness was recieved.  Each era has it’s benefits and it’s grief.

The conclusion I have come to is that there has never been a perfect parent and there is no perfect child. The only perfect parent is Jehovah and his son Jesus was a perfect child.

When Adam an Eve disobeyed their father Jehovah he was devastated.   Yet, he refused to let his affections leave him defeated.  Jehovah had to step back an leave them to go the way of their own choosing.  Jehovah was a perfect parent, he generously provided for all their needs.  They could have been perfect children yet they threw it away choosing to ignore the warnings from their father.

As Jehovah was a perfect parent an yet his two children with free-will made devasting choices our children too may at times lack appreciation or they may make choices that confound us.  We may be hurt and disappointed.

I believe when our children disappoint us, we need not blame ourselves or our mate.  Some children come around later, and we can have faith they will.  If we invested love, and good training in their upbringing then we can hope they will return to the things beneficial.

We need not be defeated.  We have our own life to continue living with Joy.   It is vital we let go of those with free will and have confidence in their return. We have a responsibility to learn how to live our life well by using our free will in a most beneficial manner being a good example for our children to long to return to.  Are you living your life?

Imagine the interests that were put off to raise children.  It is time to contemplate the interests that were negated and invest in our future as we learn to live a joyful life. Our job is to raise a new generation, let go, live a few years productively until they must return to care for our needs when we are old.  So really, whom has the last laugh.  The elderly as they piss away their dignity with little control so they learn to enjoy the small things in life.

It is important we learn to enjoy small joys and activities while we are still young enough.  Why wait until we are old?  We are not defeated because we know we were not perfect children, we were not perfect young adults and nor were we perfect parents.  So we cannot take it personally when our children make greivious decisions.  Let us live!

 

Brent an Britteny married on July 20, 2016. Despite the storms of life, they found Love and Bravely face their future together with Jehovah as their stronghold.

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Brent an Britteny Bishop

Congratulations on your choice to Marry a person in the faith that you can share your life with forever.  Always be kind and considerate to each other.  Consideration practiced in daily life is part of the bond of love.  You two are loved by many.