Change? Why change, you’re great just how you are. There are things about you that are unique to you, whether fat or thin, you are fabulous.
Think of the caterpillar that isn’t so pretty but the future is bright, and the transformation is inevitable. The lunar moth, or the butterfly is amazing. Imagine if someone killed the moth larvae’ or stomped a caterpillar, preventing this transformation because of viewing the present state as unappealing.
First, we do not want to do that to ourselves, judging ourselves too harshly, condemning ourselves as unworthy. We are our own investment, and those we love appreciate when we take good care of ourselves, and our responsibilities. Whom are we to compare ourselves to another, or even to our past self. Times change us, circumstances call for an adjustment of our expectations. The bible tells us to let our reasonableness be known to all. We improve our own life and bless the lives of those we love.
Secondly, there may be people that are very comfortable with us in our sad state. Our improvements make them uncomfortable. If we stay fat, unhappy, and unorganized they depend on that. They compare themselves to us and immediately they feel superior. Why would we want to be viewed in such an unhealthy way? Our esteem stays low, and we feel undeserving. If you make the habit of making yourself look nice, pay attention to your family and friends. If someone responds negatively to you, you know a little more about them, Don’t you?! I have friends that do not want me to lose weight, they tell me a pound a month is just fine, or that I must accept my weight. Are they really a friend?
I recall that when I lived up in Chicagoland, there was a time I was very unhealthy and I was heavy. Dressing in colorful clothes cheers me up. So I started dressing with great cheer. Someone I considered my friend, informed me that being a large woman I should tone down and wear just browns and blacks like they do in Chicago. The professional and sophisticated woman dresses in dark colors she said. My response came rather quickly, I said, “The reason the women dress in brown and black is that they are in a state of gloom and doom, there is no future for them other than what they are doing now. I serve a God of great color. Birds, butterflies an flowers are a great show of color and they are my inspiration. When I wear color or if I wear black, it does not change my size, I could be some big black bird or I can be a lovely cheerful image.” She did not take well to this. The point being, when you discover others do not support your positive changes, do you need their discouraging oppression?
The other problem is if others try to oppress you with expectations of change too heavily. For instance, I have been working on maintaining a schedule while I strive to get my domestics organized. Some would just like to pull up a dumpster and clear all my surfaces while they brag that they did all this. Like, forcing their way on me. Maybe they do not like having books around, and hobbies to do, and they consider themselves minimalist. The fact that I sweep my floors daily, keep my kitchen and baths clean, and do my towels and sheets each week means I do not live in squalor. I do not want to minimize the fact that I do have clutter which I am diminishing. Having operations every ten months for the last ten years, being on bed rest and having home health care on a number of occasions and the list goes on, there are times everything gets out of control. I have hired people as I can to keep the house wiped down, the floors clean etc. It is just there are well meaning people whom would like to come in with black trash bags and clear out the place. There are times that I am housebound, and having my projects around keeps my mind and heart busy as well as inspired. I am handicapped and I spend a lot of time at home, and this is my home. Pressure and judgment from others whom have a lack of understanding and compassion only set a person backwards in their progress. There are times we must submit to change if our situation is extreme and unhealthy. Otherwise, people need to respect another persons legal and moral right to conduct their own life.
It takes time to change, and it takes time for others to recognize nominal change. The practice of good habits will result in change. So if your goal is taking a long time in being achieved there may be ways to step it up. I will discuss this in another post very soon. Remember, it is important to already be cared for and loved now as you are. Even if it is only you whom loves yourself and sees your good qualities, that is crucial in your transformation. If no one wants to love me while I am fat, I do not care for their love when I am thin. If I am only loved thin, then how much do I need the love.
The change and transformation we are working for is also helping us to earn and acquire a health esteem. That is not the same as narcissism or self centeredness. We are healthfully making the internal and external adjustments in our habits and lifestyle. Aren’t we beautiful?