Focusing on what we think others see makes us blind to reality.

A number of us were at a friends playing cards and two times during the game she referred to her color at what I thought was unusual timing.  I did not like that aspect of playing a game with her, I felt it was almost manipulative and insulting to hear her statements, “Because I am _____….”  She was putting prejudices up before us that we did not notice or feel, but I felt she was prejudice.  I viewed her as a very intelligent attractive woman whom was good at cards.

I notice I do the same thing, when it comes to my weight.  I mention it all the time.  Just as this persons race seems to be on her own mind all the time, My view of myself as FAT is always on my mind.  This is unfair to those whom love us, it makes people uncomfortable to have such things referred to continually.  When we are around thin or fit people, is there a chance it wears them out to always have it referred to.  It is almost better to just tell them, Your very fit and you look good, is there a certain routine or program you do to keep yourself that way?  One woman at my cardiovascular surgeons office says she runs, and loves free weights.

Aren’t we so much more than our color, weight, or beauty?  It is whom we are, how we conduct our life, and the integrity we demonstrate in our daily dealings.  The front of a popular Running magazine had a heavier woman on it running, and people everywhere discussed it.  I feel she is the perfect role model for the fatfitanfab.com site.  She is demonstrating fitness by being out there doing it.  If you see an obese person out for a walk, give them the thumbs up!  It is not possible for a person to go from fat to thin in a day, but it is the habit of exercising and diet that makes a person fit.  If a person is overweight and walking a few days a week doesn’t that deserve commendation. If we know someone whom is obese, offer to go on a walk or bike ride with them.

Being overweight is not always because of unhealthy food choices or lack of activity.  I have a friend whom is quite overweight just because of her birth control.  Another person I know has problems with her thyroid, and for me, it is the combination of medications, injuries, operations, antibiotics, IV treatments, and topical steroids with antibiotic treatments.  Assuming another is heavy for discrediting reasons feeds them with some very discouraging notions, and it can effect their esteem.  Encouragement and interaction is the best way to help.

When my husband an I were out celebrating our anniversary, I was taken by surprise when a young man came up and said how beautiful I am.  Later he said it again, that he really meant it that I looked great in that dress and over all was very beautiful.  Before we left the house I felt like the big blonde in the blue dress.  It elated me to realize how wrong I was, it felt so good to hear something delightful and I decided to believe it.  My husband was there and later he said, “You really do look beautiful tonight and that dress looks great on you.”  The gift of positive words, we need to accept them graciously and feel good about them for a while. Why are we so ready to believe negative and reject the positive.  That is not fabulous living.

Blind people seem to see others best of all because they do not have the physical appearance serving up to be a barrier.  If we could make an effort to enjoy others of differing looks and backgrounds we may truly start seeing people.  Believing that all others see is our weight or color is an insult to them, and we sell ourselves short.  It not only demeans us, but them.  We must quit being blinded by shallow things.  If we can remember that others are more than what we see, and we are more than what they see, we will discover a substance worth knowing.

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